“The monks and hermits of various spiritual traditions know this truth – that rushing does not bring the grace of the fullness of time, only slowing down can do that. This is the paradox at the heart of contemplative life. When we slow down, life and its possibilities seem to expand. When we rush everything feels constricted.”
Christine Valters Paintner, PhD
Sacred Time: Embracing an Intentional Way of Life
My Dear Patrons and Friends…
I have had so much in my heart that I want to share with you, so very much. I decided today I would finally try to piece together all of these thoughts and feelings that I have to share with you, so you better understand me, and my work, Maisie, and her world, and what it all means, and what you are here supporting me to do.
Maisie started as a character that I painted, my alter ego, but really just in the spirit of fun. I love her dearly and people responded to her from the start, and loved her. She has a message, one I have often shared, that is about the fact that no matter what one’s limitations are in life they can still create a beautiful, happy, meaningful, joyful life, no matter their age, race, financial means, sexual orientation, or anything else that feel a cause to limit ourselves in our life and dreams. Maisie and I want to encourage others, to send a message to the world, to help, to heal, to send love and hope. This has been my goal from the beginning, and it still is, but in these last months the work with Maisie has been expanding, and the whole project has come to mean so much more, both to me personally, and to what Maisie’s work in the world is.
Some people make art, write a book and illustrate it, and put it out in the world. That is, I believe, the usual way, so I thought it was what I was supposed to do. And it’s not that I will not be making Maisie’s art and working on a book, but that it is all going to happen more slowly, over time, because, as I have written about recently, I need to open my life to allow all of the bits and parts and pieces of my creative life, from my whole life, over several decades, to flow back in. They are who I am, hence who Maisie is, and by doing more creatively I expand the work in more deep and meaningful ways, the art, the book, and the whole of Maisie’s World is coming to mean much more than I ever knew it could or would. And this is all to the good.
With my studio recently rearranged, the new painting table set up, the other side of this table where I write, which you see in the picture at the top of this post, turned into a place for textile art to be created, and the fiber art I am returning to, Maisie’s World is becoming deeper, more meaningful, richer, and will have far more depth and meaning than I ever realized it would or could be. In allowing it all in, because I must to feel whole and creatively energized, it is as though it is all going through a funnel and coming out in a new stream of ever expanding creativity which, I believe, will give the work more power and depth than it has ever had. It will also allow me to make little things to sell here and there for extra income which is sorely needed.
I have feared that you all came to see Maisie’s art and book in process, and you will certainly see that along the way, but it will take place more slowly over time because the work is expanding as I have explained, and you have perhaps been disappointed that it isn’t more art/painting being shown. I started with the intention of being just that, but the spirit of Maisie is so much bigger than that, and if, at the end of my life, I will have left a legacy of any kind, it will have been one of a disabled senior citizen, a woman who has suffered terrible trauma and losses from early childhood on, but who never gave up, and kept getting up again and again and again, and kept of creating, and dedicated her life to spreading love, and kindness, and showing others that it is possible for them too, and to create a space, which I am doing here at Patreon, which I hope, over time, will give women the safe space that they need to expand in this way in their own lives, to create, to re-create, or to reclaim their dreams, or even make new ones. To create lives for themselves that expand what they thought was possible, even in small ways, a place where women might feel safe and loved and cherished and part of something that gave them a home so they never felt alone. You needn’t live alone as I do to feel alone. I think some of the loneliest times in my life were the years I was married and raising 3 children, and I loved my husband and children deeply and dearly, but my soul was starving, I was not able to be who I fully was, and I was lost, and afraid, and felt very much alone. I want this to be a place that you can come so you do not feel alone.
Too, as you can see from the quotes that I share, I am a deeply spiritual person, not “religious,” in the way that I hold to one faith and try to spread that faith to others. No, I was raised Catholic, have studied Buddhism for 40 years, have attended and studied other faiths, and was ordained an interfaith minister many years ago, but the constrictions of adhering to one mode of beliefs never fit right for me. I honor all faith traditions, all are welcomed and supported here. I have often written about my view of God. I think there is only one God, whatever he or she or whatever energy or presence that might be, beyond our knowing, and what all of the different religions or belief systems are are as if we are all looking through a kaleidoscope and all of the different religions and faith systems are looking at the same thing but with a turn of the kaleidoscope so that peoples around the world are seeing and experiencing this Presence in different ways. I think when it is said that we are all one, it is very much connected to the fact that the power that created the universe, though viewed differently by everyone who sees or imagines it, is One, as are we. Be we black, white, red, yellow, brown or any other color of the rainbow I believe we are all one, that beautiful turn of the kaleidoscope which means that we each, each race, bring something special to the table, and provide a glorious feast of many riches for us all, and yet under our skin we are all one. I believe that no matter how you identify in matters of gender or sexual orientation you, too, are simply an array of beautiful bright colors of the rainbow, and we need you all, because, when the kaleidoscope turns we are shown new lessons, taught things we need to know. ALL are needed, and all are welcome here.
I say all of this because this is all part of Maisie’s World. Little Wanda the “Rainbow/Ex-Showgirl/Transgender” snail was created to show that we must love all others, human and animal and even little alien beings like little Lolly that I am painting now. All beings, all love, all one, all welcomed, all divine, and all are needed. These are big issues and they are taking the time they need to find their way into the best possible mode of expression.
And then I drop deeper. I need more support, personally, and I don’t mean here at Patreon, for my own spiritual life, and to that end I am going to rejoin (I was a member several years ago before the fire which swept everything away) the beautiful community online created by Christine Paintner whose quote I shared at the top of this post. Nothing has ever been a more perfect fit for me. It is called The Holy Disorder Of Dancing Monks! How wonderful is that? It is part of Dr. Paintner’s Abbey of the Arts: Transformative Living Through Contemplative and Expressive Arts. When I read, years ago, that their work was about “radical inclusivity” I knew I had found a home. My participation in this group will help enrich and deepen all that I am doing with Maisie’s work. It is all a part of the whole.
If I were to sum up the heart of my work and being I could best describe it by sharing a quote by Macrina Wiederkehr in the forward to Dr. Paintner’s book The Artists Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul With Monastic Wisdom [Again, I am not an Amazon affiliate and do not make money sharing their links. I simply do so so that you can easily find the books I mention more easily if you are interested.]. She wrote…
“And don’t we all, with fierce hunger, crave a cave of solitude, of deep listening — full of quiet darkness and stars, until finally we hear a syllable of God echoing in the cave of our hearts?”
That’s what is central to this time with my Maisie work. I am sitting in my cave, full of quiet darkness and stars, waiting to be shown how my work might best serve, how my life, as a woman on this earth today, might be one of love and service. This is what you are witnessing now here at Patreon. I am going fathoms deep, I am waiting for a “syllable of God, echoing in my heart” that will give me to understand how best to proceed so that Maisie can reach out and touch as many as who might be helped by her. All of the creative work I am doing right now is leading me to this quiet knowing. To that end I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your love, your kindness, and your support here as Patrons. You are helping me do this, and I believe it matters, to me personally of course, but in a larger sense to the world. I hope this may be so.
Also, I am making this post public so that others may understand the work that I am doing and what it all means to me here.
As always I am sending you so much love, and deepest gratitude, and wishes for blessings in abundance for you and yours, plus I am sending you a gentle, warm hug.
Each one, reach one, and love, always love. Always and always and always…
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