Red Lipstick

When I started my ketogenic journey 6 months ago, at 333 pounds, it was daunting, having so much weight to lose. I knew that the way to handle it was to break it down into what felt like more manageable goals. My first goal was to break 300 pounds. Having lost 25 pounds the first two months it was a shock and a disappointment that despite my best efforts my weight stalled for 4 months thereafter. This is not unusual for keto as the significant changes in the diet cause the body to do a tremendous lot of internal healing and the body can prioritize that over actual weight loss. It happens to many people. But 4 months? I was so frustrated I would cry. Finally, 2 days after I lost my sweet Tanner, I broke 300. Today I am 297. I wasn’t sure, at first, how to celebrate, but suddenly I knew. Red lipstick! I would buy a lipstick I had had my eye on to celebrate the new me that I am becoming, and despite the fact that I will be 64 the 30th of this month and I hadn’t worn red lipstick since I was in my 20’s, it would match my red glasses and give me a lift. In the throes of grief over Tanner I ordered it. Somehow it felt like a little celebration in the middle of all the sadness.

And this lipstick is the one I knew I would buy if I bought one, I have had my eye on this company for some time. It is an all natural, vegan, cruelty free brand who gives a significant portion of each sale to charity. Each lipstick supports a different charity. And their lipsticks are for anyone but they are advertised as the perfect lipstick for older women. The company is called Color The World and is actually based right here in North Carolina. My lipstick, one of a few different reds, is called Southern Red and supports the Rain Forest. And if you really want to treat yourself a lipstick is a fun way to do it AND they are currently having a spring sale which includes free shipping. The lipsticks are usually $20, they are on sale for $14 AND if you use this code — CW20 — you get an extra 20% off. With tax I paid $11.98 for my lipstick which is more than I have ever paid for lipstick but it is my celebration lipstick and when I put it on, well, I felt, I’m blushing to say, downright sassy! A year ago I got my red glasses and now the red lipstick and I may be turning 64 but I’m no “little old lady!” And I don’t intend to ever be. As I seldom leave the house and don’t really wear makeup except a little powder and lipstick when I go out I won’t be wearing it a lot but I had to go out to therapy and errands today so I put it on to go out and I was actually giggling. And my therapist laughed and gave me a High Five. Damn, I felt like struttin’ through the Costco I was so stoked. It’s amazing what red lipstick will do for a girl!

I am home now, back to being a pug mom, and a mom, and a grandma, and a gardener, and writer, and yes, someone who is going through a period of grief, and questioning life, and feeling lost in various ways, but today I am a woman who has lost 36 pounds and is sporting red lipstick and I am feeling pretty darned good. In awhile I will go out and plant bulbs in my pot garden on the deck and do the normal things of life here at Dragonfly Cottage that have felt too hard to manage since losing Tanner, but today I am celebrating life, my life, Tanner’s life, all of the life all around me, and it feels good. Losses come, and must be grieved, life is uncertain, and can be scary, but I am going to live while I’m alive and today I started with red lipstick. I don’t know where I will go from here but this is a good start and dare I say as I write this I am feeling happy. I’ll take it, I am grateful for this moment, and damned, if I don’t feel like I am looking pretty fine for an almost 64 year old. Yes, I’ll take it.