The Experiment: Day 67 ~ Notes On A Slow-Moving, No Makeup, Monday…

I can see myself changing. I can see it in my face. 25 pounds down, and what else?

Even despite a couple of hard weeks there is a serenity, and I will say a state of grace that I feel inside. I have not slipped back into depression as I feared I might and I am so grateful. Life means more than it ever has, the joys are sweeter, and the hard days more easily managed and moved through, processed, more quickly.

And I am so blessed in so many ways. The beautiful, pale green, sea glass necklace is a gift from my dear friend Jim, one of the many things in the Magic Joy Box he sent me. (I wrote about this previously, I have been opening a present every day or so and two weeks later I’m still opening gifts! It’s the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me!) And there are so many of you reading these posts, leaving me notes of love, support, and sharing from your deepest selves. I am so touched and grateful I barely know what to say.

And my ever-present fireplace app on my computer screen pops and crackles and warms me in wonderful ways and I continue to chart my keto course, record my weight each day, and sit in wonder at all the changes it has made in my body and my life, while the Christmas tree lights twinkle and my little cardinal wreath sparkles brightly on the studio door. And the pugs are sleeping and snoring all around me, their soft, snuffly little snores are the sweetest sound I know.

And this is what I know for sure, what I have come to understand, what I am lifted up by more and more each day, that if you just keep showing up miracles happen, that the biggest miracle of all is how deeply you are changed inside. I stand up taller, I feel stronger, I am more self-assured, and yes, as I wrote yesterday, part of me has even opened her heart to the possibility of finding someone whose hand I might hold, a special someone that I might kiss on her forehead, look into her eyes, and feel a flood of warmth and knowing, “Ah, you were the one I’ve been waiting for…” I wish you could see how big I am smiling writing that, and feel the flutters in my stomach, and, well, yes, I think I almost giggled! Somewhere deep inside of me a very young spirit has come back to life with all of her innocence and delight and joy, something I didn’t know was even possible. I feel her more and more. Sometimes, like in the past couple of days, she fades from view, but this morning she was back. She is a miracle too.

And I want to welcome you all to a new week. I love Mondays, when all things seem possible, when the week stretches out before you and anything might happen. It reminds me of the “Surprise Balls” my mother used to bring me when I was little, in the two years we lived alone between husbands/fathers, that time that I think was the happiest, purest time in my life. They were so amazing and magical. About the size of a tennis ball they were made of layers and layers of colored paper and as you tore them apart between the layers were tiny toys and delightful little surprises. They are one of my happiest childhood memories. When I looked for this image, from the 1950’s, I saw that there are vintage surprise balls on eBay! Gracious! I don’t dare go look, I’d want them all!

Now it is late Monday afternoon. I feel peaceful and at ease. I have a whole evening before me and I love the evenings, after the sun goes down, and I feed the dogs their dinner, and then cook my own, and then come back in here to work a little, write, commune with friends, maybe Skype or talk on the phone, something I do with a rare few people outside of my mentoring clients, and eventually I will snuggle up in my big, oversized recliner, with the pugs and my big soft blanket, and maybe I will watch something on Netflix or Amazon, or maybe I will just read, and at midnight I will watch my favorite show, The Rachel Maddow Show, streaming live on my phone because I don’t have t.v. anymore, and then around 1 a.m. I will go to sleep. I go to sleep to the soft sounds of the 3 pugs snoring, all snuggled up to me. It is the sweetest way to go to sleep.

I hope you have all had a good day, or at least one that you made it through even if there were challenges. I hope you have a peaceful evening, and I hope you have a surprise ball kind of week where each day you unravel another layer and find a tiny joyful thing, even if it is very very tiny, sometimes those are the most precious of all.

I never knew I could feel this good, this steady. I am finally happy to be alive.

 


The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: 
Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda

If you enjoy this blog a donation would be deeply appreciated to help me continue to bring “Maitri’s Heart” to you. Thank you, and many deep blessings to one and all…

Comments

  1. You are looking great Maitri! I see the change in your face too.

    I did get keto strips from Amazon but not the brand you suggested as those were not available for Canada. Thanks for the tip. I’m glad to have them for confirmation that I’m in ketosis.

    A lovely treat I got for myself from Amazon is a fluffy and light but warm duvet for my bed. I slept so much better last night!

    I agree about the tiny joyful things being precious. Thanks for the reminder to look for the small gifts in each day. 🙂

    • Thank you so much Joan! That means a lot to me! 😀

      Glad you got the keto strips, isn’t it great to know that you are in ketosis and where you are with it? I really like knowing that. Oh and your duvet sounds lovely!

      Yes, the tiny joyful things in each day, they’re the best!

      Blessings to you dear Joan, thanks again, so much, for being here with me…

  2. Your weight loss definitely shows, but I can read in your words each day, that you’ve gained so much from the diet change! I’ve had to learn that those of us with mental health issues don’t lose or cure them. I waited for my anxiety to go away & never come back. What I found is that with the right treatment, I’m in charge of my anxiety, not the other way around! I’m so proud of you!!!

    • Thank you so much dear Susan, and yes, I have gained so much. And there’s been a ton of research on how the ketogenic diet does help with mental health issues, bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression and more and I FEEL it, it’s making a huge difference. And yes, we have to be in charge. Mental Health issues can be like a runaway freight train, we are so lost and scared we stop driving and just let go of the wheel! When you get control of the wheel again it helps enormously. I hope you find peace and rest and have many wonderful days ahead…

  3. You look wonderful! I do remember the Surprise balls from my childhood as well- and really loved what you said ” I hope you have a surprise ball kind of week where each day you unravel another layer and find a tiny joyful thing, even if it is very very tiny, sometimes those are the most precious of all.” What a good sentiment to start the week. I will be sure to look for the little joys everyday.

    • First of all thank you so much Lorraine! 😀

      And I hope you have a surprise ball kind of week too! Aren’t they the best? And you should come back and report in about some of the tiny joys you find. I’d love to hear about them!

  4. Looking good, Maitri! You are a blessed woman.

  5. I love your new look Maitri, it’s very becoming! But most of all I love to hear about your new insights, and how well you handle Life. The old Life and new Maitri!
    hugs and 3 kisses
    Margaretha

    • Thank you so much dear Margaretha, I appreciate your kind comments, and yes, there is new life coming, I can feel it. It’s slow, but then, at my age, I need slow to be able to adjust along the way. This morning I was a little afraid when I got up but I just kept doing “the next right thing” and I got myself going and am now here at my desk with my coffee and another day has begun. No diving seemlessly into the days, we are human after all, but just to be able to get going and start the day and carry on, well, that’s a good thing.

      Thank you so much for being here with me darling Margaretha, and I loved that painting of the lady with the pugs you put on my Facebook page, oh, I just loved it! I hope you are having a good afternoon. And of course —

      Hugs, and *3 kisses*… 🙂

      Maitri

  6. SoulScribbles says:

    Hello there,

    Sometimes watching a good film hits the spot like a warm hot chocolate or snuggling under a cozy blanket. A few guilty pleasures I have associated with Netflix and Amazon are binge-watch a series while doing chores, soaking in a tub while watching a movie, or getting to bed early on a particular grey and trying day and watching something that will offer a little escapism to lift the spirits. A while ago, I came across a pilot-movie called “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisey” that was so witty and fun I found myself laughing out loud. It’s an Amazon original series, and a whole season of episodes have just been released. I’m binge-watching now and it doesn’t disappoint. As laughter is the best medicine, I thought I would share a dose of humor I found with you as a suggestion when searching what to watch on your computer or phone. I’m think the pilot will have you hooked; there’s nothing similar to it out there at the moment.

    • SoulScribbles,

      Thank you so much for writing in honey, and I loved getting your suggestions. I’ll look for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisey tonight! I snuggle up in my big over-sized recliner with a super soft blanket and my three pugs. It’s the only way to go! It’s lovely to see you here, I’ll hope you’ll visit again. Is your name Orie?

      Blessings!

      Maitri

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