My darling Delilah and I…
My love for this tiny girl is so immense, so huge, so over-the-moon I simply cannot put it into words.
This morning, after a night with little sleep because I was so afraid, I took Delilah back to the veterinary ophthalmologist. I took her for the first time early last Wednesday morning after having spent 3 hours in the emergency hospital with her in the middle of the night Tuesday. Thursday and Friday I took her back to get a pain shot in the afternoon as an addendum to the pain meds I had to give her because she still seemed acutely uncomfortable. We made it through the weekend on the pain meds we had along with 3 eye drops, 3 antibiotics, etc. up to 6 times a day. An aggressive treatment plan to try to save the eye and because operating on seniors can be risky. I have adopted 11 pugs in a dozen years, mostly seniors. I have lost 3 on the operating table, one having an eye removed. To say that I was terrified about what could happen with Delilah is an understatement.
I had to take her in early this morning on no food or water in case they had to operate. When the doctor told me that the eye was responding to treatment and she wouldn’t have to operate I nearly broke down and cried. The eye is still very serious, a rigorous treatment plan is still in place and I came home with a bag full of 6 meds but a tiny girl with an eye still intact, if needing a lot of treatment. This is not a quick fix.
We came home, I fed both of the babies after getting them out, administered meds, and sank down in my chair with my coffee and the babies sleeping next to me and felt limp as a dishrag. The news was good, but the journey continues. We are not out of the woods yet.
I had so much I wanted to say today, other things I was going to write about, but nothing matters more than this, nothing, no thing. Here is what I wrote to a dear friend on Facebook who wrote that she understood how much these babies mean to me…
“You know ___ I know you get it, and it means a lot. You know there are people who don’t like or understand that I would rather spend time with my babies than with them. I am agoraphobic, it is painful and nearly impossible for me to easily leave home. There are people who criticize me or think badly of me because I choose my babies over time with them. But THESE are the tiny beings that wake up with me every morning, go to sleep with me every night, and who are inches away from me all day long. And while not official service dogs they honestly serve as unofficial service dogs for me. They are my loves, my life. Some people chose to move away. They are not here to help me when I really need help. It breaks my heart and makes things very hard for me at times, but my babies are here, always, I choose my babies. I make no apologies for this. They are my world, my loves, my life. This. This is what matters. Without a shadow of a doubt. I choose them…”
And so it is.
I know people whose priorities — and I don’t judge, it is not my place to judge and I wouldn’t begin to — are all about traveling, fancy clothes and cars, and eating out, and gourmet food, and more — good for them, I wish them all the best — but these babies, they are everything to me. Nothing, nothing matters more than them.
This, this little girl, and my tiny boy Pugsley, they are everything to me. And tonight she has her eye and is responding to medication. I will cancel anything with no apologies to take care of her. She and he come first. It’s just the way it is. Tonight I don’t have any more to say. I am so tired, but we are here, the little ones and I, and in this moment, all is well.
Our animal companions are special. Anyone who has pets that we love — we understand your thoughts.
We’ve done anything we could over the years for our 3 boys; Woody, now 10, is in good health, thankfully, but he’s slowing down, too, so we’re appreciating every day that we have him — and one of us is almost always with him.
He’s got a clear “being with us” program through next fall, as we’ll be here and take him with us to Quebec for our winter trip, then through the summer. We may travel for a couple of weeks in the late winter, but nothing like we’ve done for the last couple of years.
Thank you Lisa, I’m glad you have your darling Woody and that he will be with you. No matter how long we have them it is never long enough. We must make them a priority and treasure every moment…
i am so relieved. this is very good news.
i miss you, and our time of sharing, but i totally understand that you are entirely consumed with caregiving, and that is as it should be. when delilah is well again, and that is what we all hope for her – and for you – then other thoughts and activities will come forward. Until then, rest up, be kind to yourself. Your babies need you!!!
hugs
xo
ka
xo
ka
Thank you sweet Katya, I miss you too, so much. I hope we can talk soon. It was a hard night, I am weary and kind of teary. Hoping for a better day…
M. xoxox
Rejoicing with you at receiving the Miracle you were so devoutly hoping for. Frabjous! 🙂
Thank you Victoria honey, yes I am so relieved not to have her go through surgery but it’s still a long road ahead and it’s scary and expensive which after the hurricane and all I’m still dealing with with that is double scary but one does what they must and just keeps pushing through. I know I don’t have to tell you about that. I love you sweet V. And your note in the FB group in the middle of the night (Or I read it at 4 am) saved me. Thank you so much…
That’s such good news! Pets are so precious, they give us pure unconditional love. It’s a huge relief to know Delilah is doing well. The healing will take a long time so take very good care of yourself too Maitri, all this takes a lot of emotional energy. Big hugs for you. xxx
Thank you so much Jenny honey. I am muddling through. Right now it’s a new day, I’ve just sat down with coffee, and am hoping for a peaceful day… I appreciate the hug. I needed one. 🙂
Maitri,
I hope the morning finds you all inching toward a calmer and healthier place for Delilah.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Thank you Maggie honey. I hope that for both of us. I love you honey, take care of you and you are in my prayers too, always…
So very glad to here this good news!! I am with you 100% about our companion animals. People will let you down, your pet never will.
Thank you dear Trece and yes, that is exactly my point. People will let you down, or hurt you, but these precious babies are the purest most unconditional love I have ever known, they are everything. I know you understand. Bless you honey…
Thank You for your message today!!!!
You don’t have anything to explain to those of us that love or have loved our fur babies. You know my story with Sadie and not one day, not one week have I not gone to bed or woke up thinking and feeling so bad and sad at the loss. Yes, they mean everything to us… with you all the way.. love and hugs Jim
praying for the sweet pug eye faerie to come and soothe your dear little friend…sending love to you Maitre.your love for your cherished companions is is so real ,and their presence is so dear….as is yours for them.praying for Life’s poignant sweetness to surround you all…