Yesterday was a hard day. We had been more up than down the whole night before and were on very little sleep. Delilah was still really uncomfortable and, after careful consideration, I made the decision to take her back one more time to get a pain shot to help boost what I am giving her at home. I think it was the right decision. As my daughter Rachel and I watched our t.v. program last night Delilah fell into such a deep sleep, for the first time since we were in the emergency room in the middle of the night Tuesday into Wednesday, that she didn’t even wake up when it was time for Rachel to go. Rachel held her while I hopped up and went potty and she put her back in my arms and Delilah stayed asleep. It was amazing.
We were up by 12:30 when I administered her pain medication and eye drops and took off the cone so she could drink water and she went back to sleep. We were up and down 2 or 3 more times but not for long. At 6 a.m. I put her eye drops in again. At 7:30 I was able to give her her pain medication again, took both dogs out to the potty and we went back to sleep until almost 10:00. It was nothing short of a miracle. Sitting here with my coffee a little after 10:30 after having walked them again, fed them, and administered more meds, they both went back to sleep and with little Delilah sleeping and snoring in her “blanket fort” (She likes to go under the chair where I sit and lay on a soft blanket under the blanket on my lap. It is where she always is when I am here working.) I took a deep breath and I think I relaxed for the first time in 3 1/2 days. My body has been rigid as a board from lack of sleep and fear and the strain of seeing my baby girl suffer.
We have a long way to go, you can’t see in the pictures how bad her eye is but I think it is better. These things can take time to heal but I am hopeful that she is responding to the medication and the eye can be saved, I think she’s on the mend. It truly is a rigorous course of treatment she is on. 3 different kind of eye drops up to 6 times a day, 2 meds by mouth twice a day, the pain medication, but I think it is all doing it’s job and I am deeply grateful. I think today we have turned a corner.
Sorry to be gross but just so you appreciate the situation. And this isn’t a good angle, you can’t see the ulcer, it’s too painful to try to get a shot of that. Please keep praying for her. It’s more serious than you can tell from the photographs..
I still have to be hyper-vigilant. She does not like the cone, though she has adjusted to it pretty well, but she can’t eat or drink in it and every time she gets up to get a drink of water I hop up, take the cone off so she can drink, and put it back on. The poor little thing really struggles outside because like all dogs she wants to sniff the ground to find that “perfect spot” but she can’t get her little face down close enough to the ground with the cone on and she has to have it on. She is so tiny they had to cut the cone down for her in the emergency room but it’s still big on her, it needs to be to protect the eye.
I am about to administer pain medication and eye drops again. I will take them outside. Dear Eleanor is here, she helps me twice a month in the house and it is such a comfort having her here. I am rereading May Sarton’s At Seventy, comfort food. Rachel is going to come tomorrow afternoon and stay with the babies so I can run out to the grocery store. I can’t leave them and Wednesday is Halloween, the first Halloween I will ever have celebrated in this house, the first Halloween I will have celebrated in 2 decades. I have the pumpkins on the porch, Noni helped string up little lights on the front windows, and I have to get candy to give out! In the fog of worrying about Delilah I had almost forgotten!
The left side of the porch. There are pumpkins and lights on the right side too. This was the night, just hours before, we ended up in the emergency room with Delilah. As you can see at 8 p.m. she was fine. These eye things come on so suddenly it’s frightening…
It is such a relief to be able to breathe a little easier. And I want to thank you all so much for your love, prayers, and support. It means more than you could possibly know and I know your prayers are helping so much. Please keep praying for her if you can. I am sending you all so much love and gentle warm hugs. We are getting through this, one day at a time with your help.
Dear Maitri, that’s wonderful news, very encouraging! Especially if you’re both feeling more relaxed and getting some sleep, that must help no end. I’m so happy to hear Delilah is starting to make progress, thanks to all your love and devotion. Praying everything continues to heal, and sending you so much love. Snuggles for Delilah and Pugsley. xxx
Thank you so much sweet Jenny, I appreciate your love, prayers, and support so much. It just means more than you can possibly imagine. I am hoping we will have an even better night tonight. Hold a good thought. And yes, snuggling is what we live for here! 🙂
It’s so good to hear all of this Maitri. Sleep can be so healing. You’ve been truly amazing over these past few days. Hopefully the news will keep getting better and better. Big hugs.
Thank you so much Moira honey and oh yes, sleep. It wasn’t the best night last night but it was much better than the night before and just the extra sleep helped me cope so much better today. I appreciate your kind words and the hug, both were needed and much appreciated. I am hugging you back and sending you lots of love…
You are a good mama.
Much love to you all <3
Thank you sweet Sue, you are so dear. I am hugging you real big… 🙂
sleep is so restorative. may you continue to have longer stretches of deep sleep, as your babies sleep too.
thank you for continuing the blog despite all the responsibilities placed on you to help delilah. i’m glad your daughter could keep you company, and now eleanor. every thing helps you get thru this vigil.
blessings on delilah’s eye.
xo
ka
Thank you sweet Katya, and yes, sleep, oh gracious what a difference a few hours of sleep makes.
And yes, isn’t it amazing that in our worst hours the universe sends gifts of support, sometimes subtle, sometimes we don’t appreciate until later what a help it had been, but yes, and yes and yes.
And as I have said again and again, this blogging supports me, holds me up, on the hardest days when I think I can’t do it, I do, and the comments that come back hold me aloft, as yours has, and others too.
Thank you dear friend. I love you dearly, and I appreciate you so much…
Maitri,
I am so happy there is slow and gentle improvement and I continue to pray for a good result on Monday.
I am happy that you will be celebrating Halloween — the children are always such a joy. We do not have trick-or-treaters where we live now, but we enjoyed it for years! 🎃
Rest easy. Sending you love and prayers! 🙏🏼
Thank you dear Maggie. I just read your blog post and it sounds like you had a wonderful day. And yes, please, and thank you, prayers for my tiny girl. I just got them dinner, and her pills, and one of her eye drops. The rounds of meds continue and I think they are helping.
And yes, I am actually a little nervous about Halloween but kind of excited too. And the children are a delight and a joy. I have missed seeing the wee ones in their costumes. In the midst of all the madness and hard times the innocence and joy of children is a saving grace.
Much love to you Maggie honey. I am hugging you real big… <3
I’m so thankful that there’s been improvement, and you both are doing better — rest is always a good thing, and it’s been a hard few days.
The primary street in our historic neighborhood (Montford) is a magnet for tricker-treaters from far and wide, so lots of fun to experience. We even have a few on our side street, with the families who live nearby.
I’d better get a bit of candy for that, even though we normally like to walk Montford Ave to see the throngs.
Thank you Lisa, so much. Her eye really does look bad but what I am going on is her level of discomfort which, at first, didn’t seem to be able to be managed with the meds they sent us home with hence going in for a pain shot the last 2 afternoons to supplement it, but she seems calmer and more at ease today and I think the pain medication that I have is handling her discomfort. I take that as a sign of improvement.
She is up now, moving about, she seems lost like she doesn’t know what to do. It make me anxious, but I am right here to do whatever she needs. I love her so much. I hope we have a better night tonight…
I cannot imagine the pain that Delilah has been going through and on top of that not knowing why she hurts. So glad to hear she got all that sleep and you too. Yes as someone said, you are such a good mother.
Much love to you, Delilah and all your other Pugs. May all your angels be with you all for all you need.
Jean
Thank you dear Jean. She is sleeping and snoring here near me while I read, a peaceful evening after several days of her suffering so much she couldn’t rest. I am deeply grateful. I will have to get her up soon for her final meds and then we will snuggle into our chair. And I have been praying hard to the angels all throughout this ordeal. Thank you for your kind words and good thoughts.
Much love,
Maitri
Wonderful news Maitri. So glad she seems to be better. Hope you all get more healing rest. Prayers continue for you and your babies. Peace to all and good night.
Thank you Paula, we had a much better night last night which was a great relief. She woke up uncomfortable and frantic about the cone which she hates a little before 7 but I jumped up, got all the eye drops in and the pain medication on board and walked she and Pugsley and she settled back in to sleep for awhile again. She woke up fighting the cone again but we got right up and I took it off of her while she ate and drank water and I gently cleaned her little face and around her eyes with a warm wet paper towel. I think that felt good. I’ve just sat down here with my coffee, the cone is back on and she’s gone into her blanket fort underneath me and is going back to sleep. A mama can breathe for a little bit now. And we go back to the doctor tomorrow morning. Please pray for her that the eye doctor thinks she’s getting better and no surgery will be needed….
Just wanted to add that I am continuing my prayers for you as I know you and Delilah still have a long road ahead of you! What would she do without you? You are her lighthouse in the storm….your kindness and care for her every hour, day and night, overwhelms me and I wished I lived closer (I’m in Baltimore) to at least be able to come and give you a few hours of respite…stay strong and know you have a multitude of followers who hold you dear in hearts even though we have never met you….prayers continue….
Oh Barb, thank you so much for your kind words. I just wrote to Paula above all about our night and morning so far. She is going back to sleep again in her little “blanket fort” under me here and I am about to take my first sip of coffee. Your prayers mean so much, I know everyone’s prayers are helping. Thank you for keeping them up. I am hoping for a miracle…