It was about 2 a.m. when Delilah stood bolt upright and was so anxious she just wanted DOWN. She didn’t know what to do. From there on, until 8:30 this morning, when we got up for good, we slept, if we were really lucky, for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. I kept jumping up to see what she needed. Taking the cone off if she needed a drink of water and putting it back on. At 3 a.m. I took her out to the potty. I paced with her, and after she was up and about for a little while she would settle back in with me and go back to sleep. For 10, 15, 20 minutes. I was so tired I was nearly in tears.
Turns out that the trazodone she was put on because she was so anxious yesterday had the opposite reaction one hopes for. Instead of making her calmer it made her anxious and agitated. We were, mostly, up all night. She is of course off the trazodone but she had an early morning dose before I realized.
And then, even though she is on 2 pain meds, when the vet tech said yesterday, because she was whimpering and in obvious pain even with the pain meds we had, that I could bring her in for a shot for pain I did. Today when we discussed taking her off the trazodone and possibly bringing her in for a pain shot today she said that too much pain medication can make them anxious I didn’t know what to do. I watched her cry out in pain for 2 days. I watched her pace anxiously all night long. But now we are up to the weekend when no help will be available until Monday short of the emergency clinic. I wrote everyone I could think of asking what to do but didn’t get good answers in time. My choice — alleviating possible pain or getting the shot which could make her anxious again. I went for the shot and took her to get it. I don’t know if it was the right decision but I did it.
She is on 6 other meds, many times a day. I haven’t had almost any sleep and I am so exhausted I can barely see to type here. I got the shot. I am giving her all her other meds. Monday we go back to have the eye rechecked. I am trying so hard to do it all right but we just never know.
Thank God Rachel is coming tonight. She is bringing dinner. We will watch our show, This Is Us, on Hulu because I don’t have tv so we have to watch it after it airs. She is going to keep an eye on Delilah while I take a shower. I have no idea what the night ahead will bring.
Please keep us in your prayers. I am scared. I am trying to do the right thing. It doesn’t feel like enough.
Oh, Maitri, you’re doing everything that you can do for her. Choosing to help ease her pain would certainly be my choice — I hope that she’ll be eased enough to rest for a bit.
So glad that Rachel will be there for a bit this evening — sending love and energy to all.
Thank you Lisa honey, it’s been a rough day but Rachel will be here soon. I’m doing the best that I can. I hope it’s enough…
It’s so difficult, isn’t it. I’m glad Rachel will be there for company this evening. The nights must be so long… If only our pets could talk and tell us what they need. Sending much love to you and your pugs, especially little Delilah. xxx
Thank you Jenny honey, Rachel will be here soon and it will be such a relief. I am bone weary from lack of sleep and constant care but I would do anything for my baby girl…
Dear Maitri, you are doing everything that is humanly possible for Delilah. I would have done exactly what you have done. It is hard, because they cannot talk to us so we just go with our instinct. And you have such good instincts when it comes to your babies.
I hope you can relax after a warm shower and dinner with your darling Rachel. I know you will enjoy This is Us. Rest easy and remember I, along with many others, am praying for you.
Thank you Maggie honey. I am weary and teary but Rachel will be here soon with the Pho she is picking up for our dinner. And then a shower and then our show. I just pray Delilah will sleep tonight. I am so tired. Please hold a good thought honey…
Holding lots of warm and prayerful thoughts.
<3
Delilah is blessed to have you, along with advice from knowledgeable people. The rest of us offer prayers and love to you, Delilah, and Pugsley. A prayer for pain-free sleep is at the top of the list.
Thank you so much dear Kathleen and oh gracious we need sleep so badly. I appreciate the prayers so much…
oh gosh, what turbulence, what a never ending saga of hope and fear. it is so painful for me to even read about, let alone to actually go thru what you are going through. i’m so sorry dearest. i wonder if i would have chosen to let the vet keep delilah there and keep her safe and as pain free as possible. so you (I) could have gotten some much needed rest. but i know there would be the trauma of her missing you and vice versa. only you and the vet know what’s best for your pug. I pray for you to have an easier time of it…. SOON. sending hugs and consolation
xo
ka
Thank you Katya honey and no, there’s no way, barring serious emergency that required it, that I would leave her. She came out of terrible things, being used as a puppy mill breeder, and is so strongly bonded to me I don’t go to the bathroom that she isn’t right there beside me. It is very hard for her when I leave at all for an appointment, and she needed to be kept as stress free as possible for her healing, and people don’t realize that I don’t just deeply love my dogs they are truly like service dogs for me. I need them too.
We were up and down last night but not as bad as the night before, and then I took them out and gave her pain medication at 7:30 and we were able to go back to sleep until nearly 10, a real boon. It is 10:30 now and I am at my desk with my coffee. She is sleeping between my feet on a soft blanket under the blanket on my lap, her little blanket fort. Pugsley is sleeping beside me in his little bed. Another day has begun…
M. xoxox
Oh Maitri I hope tonight brings sleep and peace to your home tonight. The nights are so very long at times like this.
Sending hugs and prayers <3
Thank you Moira honey, we were up and down but it was a better night than the night before and as I just wrote to Katya above we were able to go back to sleep for awhile after I gave her pain medication at 7:30 and took them out to the potty. That helped a lot. I appreciate both the hugs and the prayers. I need them both. Bless you honey…
You know I am keeping you all in my prayers. Much love.
Thank you Trece, you are very dear…