Yesterday I wrote about my fears around handling the practical aspects of life. One of my regular readers left a comment saying “I believe you’ve just found your blog theme for the next 365 days, as you chart your journey through Practical Matters.” It really struck me. I am not quite finished with this current blog experiment but I have known I would want to keep blogging daily after it was over because it has become a very important part of my life. And so I wrote a little note on my phone, “A Year Of Practical Living: For The Elderly, Infirm, Or Anybody Who Lives Alone.” There is potential there, and I can see having interesting blog posts coming out of practical experiences, but 365 days of it? That sounds a bit much.
This morning I got a lovely long email from another long time reader. She was thanking me for yesterday’s post and she wrote, “First of all, so much of what you have written over the past few nights has been close to what I too have been feeling. I’m only a year younger than you and, like you, I feel that lack of direction, that fear/vulnerability when something goes wrong. What I want you to know is that not only are you not alone, you are helping others of us who can, at times, find it hard to find the words to explain where we are at in life.” I read and reread her long email and then I sat here thinking about it all.
It seems to me that my “target audience” is primarily women who are midlife and older. I do have younger women who read my blog as well as some very dear men, but if my audience is mainly women in their mid to later years how might I best serve them, I wondered? What might I write about that could be helpful and not just me always rambling on about my struggles and days and what is going on in my life? Of course the latter will always be part of my blog because that’s what a blog like this is all about. The universal is in the personal. But what if I learn things along the way that could be helpful to you, dear reader? What would that be? I am really hoping that you will take time to write to me in the comments after this post, or you can use the contact form on my website here, or you can write to me directly at maitrilibellule@gmail.com. I would really love to hear from you. It will help me shape my work as it unfolds in the time ahead.
Today I am getting ready to go to therapy, and then will do a couple of errands. Tomorrow my eldest daughter and her family arrive for a few days from Chicago and I am so excited. Two of my 3 children live out of town and it’s so hard for me to have them so far away so it is a special delight when they can come for a visit, and my two young grandsons aged 3 and 6 will be here and I can’t wait to squeeze them! It was only yesterday that my 3 children were that young, wasn’t it? And now they are 35, 38 and 41. It simply does not seem possible, but so it is.
The years are fleeting. We must grab hold and treasure every moment. And then, in our own lives, we must learn how to cope as best we can with the practical matters as well as the matters of our heart. And there are those of us who have dealt with, and will deal with, mental health issues all the days of our lives. I will of course write about that but I don’t want that to be the sole focus of my blog. There is the ketogenic diet, and there are the questions around whether it will ever be possible for me to find my way back to the garden in a way that is comfortable and sustainable. There is the writing I will do, a book I hope to write, and the gentle, healing writing classes that I teach. There are of course pugs and a wee beta fish who is here beside me. There is so much more.
What would you like me to write about dear reader? What do you want to hear? What might I be able to help you with, and how might I serve? These are my questions for you today. I really want to know.
The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda
As one of your followers in the “older crowd,” I, too, think a new blog when this is done–but not daily, that’s too too much to ask of you–perhaps weekly–you could do little bits and pieces over the week, and, if you feel up to it…post online for us–but just once a week–daily is a lot to ask! I, along with a great many of your followers, I suspect, are living alone–working through the day with various repairs, thoughts, necessary (though not particularly wanted) phone calls….and would truly appreciate any insight that you have on those things–and, in turn, we can support you and give you hugs when you need them. I read all the time how social media isolates one…when, in fact, I believe it brings like minds together–I’m from Baltimore—and I’m not sure where you are, but, I suspect, but for this wonderful, nurturing blog, I would never have met you nor been able to hear your wisdom and advice–so I’m a true believer in GOOD social media. I am a high school English teacher and try to share things that I learn with my students–and this will be one of them. I encourage everyone to reach out and help and learn from others! Love and hugs to you Maitri–whatever you decide with regard to your next blog–we are here for you!
Hello Dear Barb and no, I’m not going to start a new blog, it will be right here on this one! But last September I undertook a 365 day experiment of which this particular blog post is #319! The conversation was about what comes next, on this blog, after I hit Day 365, what might the next journey be, and it will be daily because this is a daily practice for me like meditation might be for someone else. It can be a challenge but it also helps keep me going through some of the hardest times when to get a blog post written can be a challenge but getting one DONE has often saved me!
I will share how I have found a way to cope with and handle practical matters but I surely can’t write about that every day. As Katya writes about below here in the next comment all manner of creative things are important too and of course I will write about those. I guess the point will be to find a theme for the next year’s 365 day journey! And I have awhile yet to think about it!
How wonderful that you are an English teacher, what a gift you must be to your students. And yes I believe that the internet and social media can be a mixed bag but it has overall been very good for me, and living alone it has been life-saving and life-enhancing for me. And now teaching my Sunday Night Writing Group is so nourishing and exciting. There are so many ways to enrich our lives in this medium.
I am so glad that you are here dear one and I appreciate your kind comment so much. The very best and blessings to you…
Maitri
well, you know i think that creativity is healing and uplifting, and that can take the form of writing, painting, fiber work, embroidery, gardening, drawing, and each of those has so many facets to it. you are a creative person who has benefited from so many forms of artistic manifestation. so maybe your blog could now and then talk about art as therapy or art as life-giving or sustaining, or even salvation (as writing definitely is for me!)
that may not fit into “practical matters” but it sure does for me!!!
Yes dear Katya, life-giving, sustaining, and even salvation! All those things. I can’t just write about “practical matters” like how to deal with the cell phone! But those things could have their place now and again because I do have a lot of women midlife and older who have to cope with these challenges and it could be helpful. As I just wrote to Barb above I think the thing is that I want/need to find an overarching theme for the next 365 day journey, but I surely have time to do that. Today was only day 319 of the current one. Fun to think about though. and also as I said above I have found a daily blog practice to be very important for me in my life. This I surely want to continue. I cannot promise that the day might not come when due to accident or illness I might miss a day but it would be an extreme circumstance to make that happen. I have written through illness, my little Tanner’s death, and so much more, days when I could hardly breathe, but the writing itself, as you well understand, was what saw me through.
I’ve just written my outline for Sunday night. Jenny arrives tomorrow. A single day holds so much…
M. xoxox
Dear friend,
This question pops up a lot in my mind, too. I know you write from the heart and it must be something that resonates with you, doesn’t it?
You and I are the same age and even though we have had very different paths, age gives us similarities. By the time I retired, I discovered most of my life had been about what I kept out of my life. My world took on an aura of ‘no’. No to unhealthy food, no to things that trigger me, no to unkind people, and on and on….
I now find I want to be in a place of ‘yes’ and focus on things I choose to ‘let in’ rather than what I want to ‘keep out’.
Maybe it is something to ponder as you take more risks, try new adventures, meet new people. I know whatever you choose to write about will be perfectly you. 💕
Dear Maggie,
That is SO powerful — “I now find I want to be in a place of ‘yes’” — indeed.
I am afraid of those things you mention, risks, adventures, new people… and yet… here we are on Sunday nights and isn’t that all of those things? Maybe I arrived in a place of yes without even knowing it! In any case I surely am glad that we are in this place together. And on Sunday nights we will write together. And heaven only knows where we will end up.
Onward dear sister, onward and upward to the Land of Yes. And with all of you I am not alone. I might just be able to make it now…
Blessings and love to you dearheart…
Maitri
My sister and her husband have been visiting, so I’m just catching up a bit. But, I know you’ll share whatever’s true in your life in your blog posts to come. That’s enough.
A place of yes is a good thing. And there are many of us and you are not alone. Enjoy Jenny and family!