I am writing this blog post just before a meeting at 6 with someone who may be able to help me. I hope so. She contacted me last night with the most amazing offer, so kind, which would enable me to use the platform I (thought I) wanted to use for my classes. It is a video platform (If you’re shy you don’t have to be on video but it’s a lovely way for people to really get to know one another.) but, oh-my-God I have been working with this platform since this morning, for hours and hours, until finally at 4 p.m. I turned out the lights, got in the big recliner with the dogs, put on my sleep mask to black out the world, and tried to go to sleep. I couldn’t. I’m back up, and I am meeting with my friend at 6. She is amazingly talented in all kinds of ways and technology is her specialty. It is going to take someone like her to help me.
But here’s the thing. After watching 2 hours of recorded video teaching sessions for the platform I kinda got how it works and with my friend’s help and working at it I think I could do that part, but trying to record “the classes” on trial runs nothing worked right. The built in webcam in my desktop pc computer. which oddly never looks bad to me when I am in other places online, video chats, say, looked terribly grainy to me, not good at all. And then the area behind me where I sit leaves much to be desired. I tried getting that right, and did get it a little better when I put my old Logitech external webcam on (It’s from 2012 before the fire, it survived but nothing that went with it did so I spent a lot of time finding software online to download to get it to work. I finally did.) but not only did the quality not seem to improve a lot (No crystal clear video, still kind of grainy) when I try to use it it is as if I am looking off to the side, not “right at you” which I would want to be teaching. By the time I couldn’t get this figured out I was near tears and quit. This was over 6 hours into doing this.
The thing is I do not have the money for expensive equipment and I am not going to use a platform that I am not comfortable and at ease using. This group is going to be a weekly thing, there will be a fair amount of work just putting together the material for each weeks writing group — that’s the part I love — but when it comes to us all meeting and writing together and reading our writing, the real workings of the group itself, the technology has to be seamless, not hard to operate, not clunky, not difficult to grok, or I just won’t be able to manage it. Now I am scared and overwhelmed and I want to run and hide.
Please hold a good thought for me that I can manage this. I meet my friend in 30 minutes. I have to get the dogs fed first and I haven’t had anything all day myself other than half a cup of coffee (It went cold while I was engrossed in videos to learn the platform) and literally less than a handful of black olives this afternoon when I went to look for something to eat and didn’t even have it in me to get anything together.
Now I’m getting teary again, I mean the kind of teary that’s about to erupt into a full-blown ugly cry. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know how to do this. I am on that ledge people go out on and need to be talked down from. Help!
Stay tuned, pray for me, and cross your fingers and toes. Marie Forleo said, “Everything is figureoutable.” but this one’s got me stumped. Oy.
The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda
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Whoa! Sending lots of hugs and love and strong wishes that you can find a platform you’ll be comfortable with, it’s so important. Fix yourself something nice to eat to keep your energy up and reduce some of that stress. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. We all have everything crossed for you! xxx
Thank you Jenny. I’m tired, and teary and scared but about to meet with my friend. I hope she can help me with this. If not I don’t know what to do. Keep everything crossed!!!!
I’m so glad everything is looking much better now, you were the first thing on my mind when I woke up this morning! Rest well dear Maitri and take very good care of yourself. xxx
P.S. I still have everything crossed for you. 🙂
Thank you dear Jenny, I appreciate that so much. We will begin this Sunday night with a gentle trial run. It is time and so we will begin. I’m afraid, but committed. Onward I go…
Fingers and toes still crossed for you and remember, for week 1 “good is good enough”.
We’re all rooting for you ✨✨
Thank you so much dear Moira and you know that’s exactly the sort of thing Suzanne was telling me tonight. She is going to facilitate the Zoom call and be on it to handle helping with the technical things and we get started, and she said we just have to go ahead and start and we will find our way, and we will. And I appreciate your support so much honey…
forget about video, maitri. audio is FINE. HONEST. remember the old radio shows where people were glued to the speakers!? don’t tax yourself. the most important thing is all of us writing together under your tutelage. your beautiful soothing voice, and all of the voices of your students will be thrilling enough.
are you listening sweetheart? and definitely eat something filling and nutritious!!!
DO you have an audio platform you are comfortable with???
xo
ka
Hello Darling Katya…
Well first of all I just finished eating… 🙂
And Suzanne and I talked for 2 hours. She is facilitating me getting on Zoom and it’s her account I will be using to start and she will be on the call helping me, handling the technical things, and the first week especially gently helping all of the participants get in and settled comfortably. And yes, those old radio shows were fun but this is the modern age and this technology will help me come to my students in a more real and alive way and will help the participants get to know one another. In a virtual world to be able to really see and get to know one another is an important part of building community. You have that in person with so many people. Many of us do not. I believe this is essential. And the audio program I was going to try to use was so difficult and wouldn’t begin to work well enough to sustain a weekly ongoing class.
With Suzanne’s help I will be able to begin, and things won’t be perfect at first but we will find our way together. I am afraid but I know this is the path to take. I will be sending out lots of helpful information in the emails for the group. I will help you all into the group too, and Suzanne, who is just lovely, will be there to help too….
Onward we go…
M. xoxox
Frankly, Maitri, I haven’t participated in any video platforms (including Zoom) in the courses that I’ve paid to participate in, that I thought were particularly wonderful.
Sark’s connections have been just awful, in my opinion, although my Irish online connections have been OK, with my writing connection there.
Since Suzanne is sponsoring your Zoom participation, that’s great – it does allow participants to see who’s speaking while they’re talking, but it’s basically just a video version of audio — you need to raise your “hand” to participate, etc. I’m so glad that she’s able to help. It’s not like a group conversation, at least the ones that I’ve been a part of, but you do get to see the participants in real time/and real video (everyone looks awful, depending on where their device cameras are doing the video from).
So, I’m with Katya — what’s wrong with just audio?
I’m sorry that you so dislike Zoom Lisa, I feel it is the best option for this group, at least I am hoping so. Audio only is not an option because the only free platform is so limited and problematic it just won’t work for this. I am going to start with a gentle trial run this Sunday, and we will go from there. More will be in today’s blog post and the newsletter I will be sending out later today…
have you set a date for our first meet up?
xo
ka
Katya I was going to wait until the 29th but that’s just too long. And because it is so new to me and many people are nervous about video I am going to start this coming Sunday night, the 22nd, with a gentle trial run, there will be more time at the outset to gently welcome people in and there will be writing and reading but in a more abbreviated fashion than normal classes, just to help people see what’s what. Suzanne can’t help me this Sunday so I will be on my own. I will talk more about this in today’s blog post and an email I send to the group email.
I’m hugging you real tight honey. I need a hug just now…
M. xoxox
Crossed all over for you. Eat something yummy, rehydrate, and breathe. Your friend will help you and if necessary you can fall back on plan B. It will all work out.
You are so brave venturing in to this new dimension.
Hugs,
Lauren
Thank you so much dear Lauren… I have now eaten and Suzanne was an amazing help. I am still afraid but feeling better than I did. I am learning, and slowly we will find our way together into what I believe will be a lovely group. We will start 2 weeks from tonight, and on from there we will go… 🙂
what was it my Mom would always tell me … oh ya keep it simple stupid.. not that you are stupid maitri but simple is usually best and maybe over time we can upgrade if need be..
Ah Julia, your mother and her words of wisdom. 🙂
Suzanne helped me enormously and will be there on that first call to help us all with the technology. It’s really going to be okay in fact this platform, where we can see each other and really be together, I think will be a very important part of forming this community. I feel shy about it but I know it’s right. We will all help each other just by showing up. I believe in this. I believe it will work. We just have to START, to begin. And so we shall… 🙂
Sending loads of calm and patience. Have some water if you haven’t time right now to eat. Isn’t that first sip sweet?
Patience with the technology. Focus on the love.
Thank you so much dear Kathleen. I have eaten, I have had a wonderful 2 hour live call with Suzanne who is helping me with the platform and will be there live to help with that first class. And yes, for me it’s all about the love. Please keep me in your prayers… <3
It will be a good thing to be able to see each other, though, at least at the outset, so that’s all good!
Thank you Lisa. This is an imperfect process I know but it’s a way to get started and see what’s what. If the platform doesn’t work I will have to reconsider but I don’t have money to pay for other platforms so I have to do what I can.