“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you’ll see the way to fly.” Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach
It is a moment in time when everything is changing. A time when what is needed, more than anything, is a shift in perspective. Something happened today that was a lightning bolt out of the blue, an existential wake up call, and in that moment I knew that much of my pain and suffering were coming from a limited perspective tied to concrete, tangible things. What I need most of all are not the things I have been hoping and wishing for and holding so tightly to that I couldn’t see any further than the proverbial tip of my nose. What I need to do is to look to what I already know, deep inside, beneath the surface of the material world.
“For each of them, the most important thing in living was to reach out and touch perfection in that which they most loved to do…” Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach
I have not been considering what it is that I most love to do, I have been focusing, for the most part, on what I am afraid of. What I am afraid to do, what I am afraid will happen, what I am afraid won’t happen. Fear hobbles you, you stumble about on the ground as if with broken wings. You cannot fly if you are afraid.
What if I took this thing, this thing that I love more than anything else, writing, the thing that I have done since I was a young girl, the thing that saved me through a childhood of frightening abuse, that helped me make sense of the life that came after, through the years of therapy when I was trying to heal but also writing, more than anything else, taught me about love, about joy, it was a tool that I could use as a healing balm to help others, it was a lens through which I could more clearly see the world and it’s truths and what really matters. It is time for me to concentrate not on what will happen if I write and publish a book but what will happen if I don’t? There is simply no more time to dawdle around thinking that one day we might do the thing that we long to do. None of us have that kind of time to waste, and even if we have the time we should be filling it with the things that make us soar! I don’t want to live like a plane that is grounded.
Today my heart is so full of so many things, I am in that place where my brain is lodged in the esoteric and the few words that I have written here might not make sense but I’m not trying to make sense right now, I’m just trying to understand where I am and where I’m supposed to go from here. And the only way I can see that will get me where I want to go is to step into my flight suit, zip it up, and get on board the flight to the next phase of my life. Today I was handed a ticket. Liftoff is imminent. I’m ready to fly.
The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda
What an awesome day! You go girl.
Hugs,
Lauren
Thank you beautiful Lauren, you too! 🙂
Another book of my childhood that changed me forever was Jonathan livingston Seagull. I really should read it again.
The rainstorm came and in between the thunderstorms was a great amount of downfalling summer rain so I went out with Petie.. and I did my little dance in my barefeet and Petie spinning around then running up to the door he had enough. Charlie was waiting with a towel and then the thunder came back so i walked to the door and took the towel stripped down and Charlie helped me into my favorite bathrobe.
The temp change from 103 to 75 is beginning to take its toll on me but I will make it through and slowly load the dishwasher..
Julia, oh these summer rains. The pugs will NOT go out in the rain. They look up at me like, “Surely you jest?” Nice that Charlie had a towel waiting and I thought it was sweet how he helped you into your robe. 🙂
But geez, 103 down to 75. That’ll mess with you. People get horrendous summer colds for just this reason. Take care, and look at you, tackling the dishwasher! You GO girl!
Yes, Maitri, you know it and we know it. YOU ARE A WRITER, and a generous, wise, loving being who supports each one of us with your ongoing blog/pilgrimage/story, thru thick and thin, the pen writes, you haven’t strayed from your mission. Powerful woman. Of course we all go thru biorhythms of up and down and all around, but you always come back to the Wisdom of the Pen (as I talk about so freely!) Keep writing your stories, find a way to help others write (elders at a senior center? at a YWCA? at a unitarian church?) because you will be passing on the key to them…. just as my mom believed that literacy, being able to read, was the key to success in this world, you and i believe that writing can heal and liberate the writer and the reader! so, on with it. One day all of your stories will be in a book. And what a book!!!
As for me, besides writing, gardening, even just pulling the damn weeds out of my golden stone pathways, is fulfilling. I am making beauty as i go. I am picking flowers and making bouquets. I am planting more flowers. I myself am a flower!!!
on we go!
Thank you my dear darling friend… Katya… the Wisdom of the Pen indeed. Things are shifting, and I can’t quite see what is happening yet, writing our stories has been part of it, this blog, surely, imagining how I might share this healing process with others, and a book, yes, someday a book. I am not trying to force an answer to come, I am letting it all percolate, allowing a strong brew to fill my cup when it is time. Things are happening as they are meant to even if I can’t see it yet.
And oh yes my dear you are a flower, a beautiful flower, and you have made beauty in so many ways for so many decades. I look forward to watching all that you create unfold into the future. Shine on bright sister…
M. xoxox
Yes dear Maitri you are a writer! You are writing with your blogs. I love reading your writings. You will write when it feels right to you. Maybe only one page a day or two sentences. No pressure, just do what you love and what feels right.
Love, Jean
Thank you so much dear Jean, it means so much to me that you love reading my writings, and your kind comments mean the world to me, just seeing your smiling face here in the comment box makes me smile warmly.
I am sending you love and a warm hug this night, I hope the evening is unfolding for you in a lovely way filled with peace and ease…
Maitri
Wow! And also Yay!!!!
Thanks Lorraine! Yay and Wow and then some! 😀
You had a grand revelation but then again you knew it in your heart but feared what would happen if you went for it. I know those feelings very well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Go for it. Write and write and write. Your writings will find their way to those who need to read those very words. It is your gift and you must share it. The logistics will work themselves out because the universe is holding your hand. You go girl!!!!!!!
Thank you so much sweet Paula, you are so kind and it’s nice to think of the universe holding my hand. I’ll hold onto that. And I hope you are going for your dreams as well. How are things going with your sewing adventures? 🙂
What a lovely post! It’s strange, isn’t it. Our hearts say, “I can do this!” Then our minds say, “Yes, but… what if…” One thing is certain, you will always be a writer! xxx
Thank you dear Jenny, and yes, the “Yes but what ifs” can be brutal. I am trying to stay in this thing I love and believe in and have always loved and allow it to show me what it is I am meant to do. And it all starts here on the blog of course. I’m not sure where it will lead but it is surely leading somewhere. Onwards and upwards! And I so appreciate having you here with me on the journey… 🙂