It has all caught up with me. Too much going out. Good things but after going out Sunday afternoon to the Stitch and Bitch meeting, yesterday to the library, and today to therapy and a host of errands afterward tonight something in me has switched off. I am so quiet I can barely speak out loud. I am remembering why I don’t go out more often than I do. All of the things that I had done or had to do were good things, important things, and now it is enough. I took time to do a couple of extra things while I was out so I don’t have to leave the house again for several days. I need to recover myself. I feel like hiding.
When I got home late this afternoon I got the dogs out, got them a treat and changed clothes and curled up with them in our big recliner. I couldn’t even read. I checked a few things on my phone, turned it off, turned out the light and put the black silk sleep mask on I have begun to wear. (It helps a lot, it was recommended to me to help with sleep at night because even the light from a digital clock can be disruptive to sleep. I love the one I got. It is a natural silk, lightweight, with an adjustable strap, it was only $10 and has more than 9500 positive reviews on amazon! Helps at night and is wonderful for napping during the day.) I am finding that as in most things I am super-sensitive to any light, and during the day, like today, when the world caught up with me, I needed a place of sensory deprivation, quiet, dark, time to escape from the world and come back to myself.
I got up slowly. My sweet pugs were snuggled into me sound asleep. I had to gently wake them up to take them out and get them their dinner. I had things I needed to do this evening but I have begun a process of elimination. What can I not do? I started checking things off the list and ended up with doing this blog post, riding my bike, and taking a shower. After my shower I may watch a documentary on Netflix that I’ve been hearing rave reviews about and when I watched a clip from it I was so touched I knew I would want to watch it soon. It is Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette. Then I will read until bedtime. I started my new mystery last night and I loved having a book to read at bedtime.
And a little update, something I have found interesting. Since I stopped watching the news at night I am sleeping much better. I go to sleep easier and I sleep better and longer. It was nice to listen to my audiobook at bedtime instead when I didn’t have a regular book to read but it is even better to have a real book. I read for over an hour last night before turning out the light and went to sleep with the characters from my Seaside Knitter’s mystery in my head instead of the horrors of the news. I’m definitely on to something here.
Tomorrow I will have a peaceful day here at home and then an evening I am really looking forward to because my darling daughter Rachel is coming over. I will make us dinner, she is bringing wine, and we are watching a movie we both love and haven’t seen in some time, Chocolat with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche. It is one of my favorite movies ever and I have watched it many times but not for quite awhile. Rachel and I both agreed it was just the kind of evening we both need.
I hope you are having a peaceful evening. I hope that if the world is too much with you you are finding ways to disconnect and find a way to come back to yourself. This new thing of trying to go out into the world a little more is something that requires a kind of balance I haven’t found yet. It will take time. I am done for awhile.
The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda
Wow! What a great discovery! Enjoy your evening. BTW, I use a sleep mask, too, but mine is because I am a true night owl and sleep uring the day.
during the day.
They are a godsend aren’t they Marge? Especially during the day! Glad you have one too… 🙂
Oh boy do I know what you are feeling. I never could go out many days in a row without collapsing or feeling sick until I had some time to recuperate. I had a therapist who asked why. I didn’t know why at the time but it’s good to know.
Take care, rest up and enjoy your netflix and books.
Love, Jean
Thank you Jean and, well, I watched the Netflix special. I think it was very important, but it left me feeling disturbed and upset and I had bad dreams about it last night. Sigh. I’ve got to be so careful what I watch and listen to. I did read for a bit after I watched the documentary but by then I was too tired to read but a very few pages. From now on unless I am watching a delightful show or movie in the evening with someone I’m going to stick to reading. And yes, I badly need this home day. I understand you feeling as you do as well… <3
My daughter Sarah and I LOVE Chocolat! Enjoy!! And thanks for the head’s up on the sleep mask; I am due for a new one.
Oh Trece I’m tickled that you and your daughter like Chocolat too, and this sleep mask is a dream…
Beautiful post on self-care, we all need to take time out that way. I’m glad you have a peaceful day and a lovely visit with Rachel to look forward to.
Thank you so much Jenny and yes this is a much needed day of quiet and time with Rachel this evening. I watched that documentary last night and it was so upsetting for me I had bad dreams last night. I’ve just got to be so careful what I watch and listen to. It was a very important documentary and well done it just really hit me hard. I really look forward to a lovely evening with my sweet daughter…
The ebb and flow, the in-breath and the out-breath. How wonderful that you know what you need…and giving it to yourself. You rock, Maitri!!
Chocolat is one of my favourites too – but have you read the book? In my opinion the book is even better than the film. Joanne Harris has written a number of books but my favourites are:
Chocolat
Five Quarters of the Orange
Blackberry Wine
Lollipop Shoes (about the woman in Chocolat a few years later and now living in Paris)
There is one other that I can’t think of the name of but it is about the priest in the Chocolat book. If you decide to look it up it’s: Apples for Pere ????? (his name)
Fabulous, quirky books.
Enjoy your peaceful time at home – there’s nothing quite like it
Thank you so much dear Moira and you know what, I bought the book Chocolat and never read it. Now I want to and I want to read the others too. I will put them on my library list Thank you so much for the suggestions! They sound like wonderful books and books I would really enjoy. And yes, I am really looking forward to this day at home…
I did get that sleep mask after your suggestion before Maitri. It is quite lovely and I like that it is lightweight for the warmer weather.
I also have the first few books in that mystery series now too and plan to start the first one tonight or tomorrow. I don’t read before bed because it actually makes me fall asleep so it’s kind of a waste getting propped up to read in bed only to have to lie down after a short time. 🙂 I like to read in the afternoons mostly.
I have seen Chocolat a long time ago.
Oh Joan I’m glad you got this sleep mask. I think it is absolutely incredible, and doesn’t it feel lovely indeed?
And I’m so glad that you got the Seaside Knitters mystery novels. I think you will love them. I am reading the second last one from the library now at bedtime and am really enjoying it, and we just have to read whatever time works for us!
You know, Chocolat is wonderful but we ended up watching a documentary I loved and wanted Rachel to see and she really wanted to see, The Magic Pill on the ketogenic diet. Have you seen it? It is mindblowing and I didn’t even need convincing! She loved it and was so glad that she saw it. I’ll be keto 9 months on July 11. It has just totally changed my life…