Honestly, the only thing that I can figure out is that the trauma of the fire, losing so much of my fiber art especially my big freeform crochet pieces — one was a 15 foot long rainbow serpent, I mean I knew how to crochet! — and then not returning to fiber work these past years has done this to me. It is as though I have fiber amnesia. I simply don’t know how to begin. I feel lost. You can look here at just a year’s worth of fiber work from 2010-2011. These images were saved on Facebook, and they are some of my handmade yarns, batts, and other fiber work so you can imagine how perplexing it is for me not to know how to begin at all.
This morning I dug through bins of fiber in the garage and pulled out a single ball of yarn. I also have my big bag of hand-carved crochet hooks made by Noreen Crone-Findlay who made many of my fiber tools. These hooks are magical. They survived as did a whole lot of her magical spool knitters in all shapes and sizes. I am taking the hooks, a little yarn, and a few spool-knitters with me to the Stitch and Bitch group today. I am going. I have to.
But the thing is to have crocheted big, wild, fun crochet works and then be sitting here today with a single ball of yarn, a crochet hook, and looking at beginner’s how-to videos on youtube is a bit disheartening. I am having to learn how to do this again. Yes, I am going to go to this meeting because I really want to meet people, I need to meet people, I want to make friends, but, more, I need to recover my lost fiber life. And I realize something else. Never in my life have I learned how to do patterns in knitting or crochet. I am self-taught and all my work is free form. I want to learn how to do patterns. Easy ones, to be sure. They look like higher math to me. They make me dizzy! But you know what? I have always wanted to learn how to knit socks! Bulky, rainbowy, wild socks. I think it’s time. And while I have knitted lots of shawls they were all freeform, knitting or crocheting by the seat of my pants kind of adventures. I see gorgeous shawls that I would love to knit.
And I just thought of something. If I project into the future and see myself as a very old lady I can think of nothing more comforting than to see myself sitting in my cozy chair with my dogs beside me knitting or crocheting. And I can just see my feet in wild, rainbowy socks in one of my big collection of rainbow colored Crocs (the only shoes I wear!) that I have collected over the years. Yes, Crocs with Socks! I am going to be a bold, rainbowy sort of old lady. I think that is something to aspire to!
And there’s more! As I went through images to use in this post I came up with a few that made me light up like a Christmas tree! And I remembered something, well 2 different things but sort of related in a way, that I always dreamed of doing. One is to crochet wild covers for inanimate objects (See below the bicycles and piano.) and then there is YarnBombing! When wild women take to the streets with their knitting needles or crochet hooks and cover trees, park benches, fire hydrants, cars, even bridges and buildings with colorful yarn. It is considered a kind of street art, “Guerrilla Knitting or Crochet.” I was a rebel in my youth. Perhaps one day I will go out having knitted more than socks! Just imagine!
Today I’m starting with a single ball of yarn and a crochet hook but where it will all lead, who knows? But now, just for a moment, and I know I will become more afraid again as it gets closer to time to leave for the meetup today, I have a twinkle in my eye, and I am seeing a future for myself that is brighter than the one I imagined yesterday when I was so afraid. One day if you see a little old lady with a crochet hook in her hand and a yarn bag slung over her shoulder, look closer. It may just be me. If I get arrested will you bail me out?
The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda
Oh Maitri I’m so pleased you’ve decided to go today! My candle is lighting for you that you have a lovely time there.
A little quote I think of when I feel a bit like you describe here regarding your lost skills “To start again I must begin, from where I am -not where I’ve been”. Hope it helps!
And as for Yarn Bombing…it’s such a fabulous thing!! A town near where I live has a group of Yarn Bombers and every year they decorate the town in glorious colours. Look up Mountmellick Yarn Bombing if you’d like to see for yourself 😊
Oh dear Moira, thank you so much honey for lighting the candle. I feel your love and support and it means more to me than you could possibly know. And I love the quote, it’s perfect!
And I just looked up that town, how wonderful! If you look up Yarn Bombing online you will see so many photographs from so many places you could look for hours, so much fun and some of them just take your breath away, WHOLE BUILDINGS that were yarn bombed. Maybe I’ll start small, like with a coffee cup! 😀
In any event today I inch my way out into the world by going to the Stitch and Bitch meetup. I’m scared, but I’m going. One small stitch for womankind!
That blue ball of yarn is simply gorgeous. Just to hold it in your hands, to feel its texture, to wind it between your fingers, to crochet a washcloth, or anything else, just to explore its potential, its life force, you will be returning again to the artist within you, the one who never quit, no matter what. and hey, i definitely want to order a pair of wild rainbow socks. just name your price!!!
xo
ka
Katya honey, that ball of yarn at the top isn’t mine, it’s a graphic I found to use, but the ball I’ve got right here is beautiful, turquoise, mauve, and a violety purple! I have begun to crochet with a youtube video, just a little, but it’s a start.
And oh Lordy honey, if I can knit ONE pair of socks for myself it will be nothing short of a miracle! If I’m ever up to doing more I’ll let you know! 😀
Hugs,
M. xoxox
Maitri you’re wonderful. I hope you enjoy the meetup today, who knows where it may lead. As for patterns, “Everything is figureoutable”, as a wise woman once said! I’m so glad you still have the special crochet hooks Noreen Crone-Findlay carved for you. Sending lots of love and good wishes your way. xxx
Thank you so much sweet Jenny and yes, Everything Is Figureoutable indeed! That’s exactly what I’m doing right now with youtube videos! And Noreen’s hooks are enchanting, they are here on my blog somewhere from years ago but I will post them again soon! And thanks for the love and good wishes! I will gladly take them and send some back to you! 🙂
I am so proud of you! you Face your fear as a true guerilla yarn woman does!
I cant follow a pattern for the life of me but i sure can figure it out in my head and just do it .
One day and yes it is on my creative bucket list is learning to make my own socks!
Well Julia, I went. Here’s the thing, I’m glad I went, cute yarn shop, lovely people, truly, but the parking was a nightmare (I had to pay $10.50! Downtown historic district in tourist season and it was a million degrees outside. Noni tells me you can park elsewhere and take a trolley for free to your destination but frankly that’s just not something I’m going to do.) And you know how you can go to a group and they are all the nicest people in the world, as lovely as can be, no problems whatsoever, but you know that these are not your people and this is not where you belong? That’s how I felt. I’m pretty sure I won’t be going back. But I went, I tried, I did it, and that’s a good thing….
Oh Maitri, I so loved those colorful yarn pictures on your blog today. They made me smile. I was so glad you went to the stitch and bitch but I so understand lovely people but knowing they are not your people. You DID go, you DID it! That is so awesome. So sorry they are not your people though but I totally understand.
When I was a teenager and having my cleft lips operated on, I was living with my aunt in NJ. She was a teacher and had a dog. I learned how to knit argyle socks. One day I was babysitting somebody’s baby and it started crying. I laid my knitting down on the chair on the patio to tend to the baby. When I came back the dog had gotten hold of the knitting and dragged it out to the garden. There was argyle yarn all over the bushes. It was funny but I had already finished knitting one sock and there would not be a 2nd I don’t remember how to knit them now.
BTW I just downloaded a May Sarton ebook. There are a lot and I am going to have such fun going through them.
Love, Jean
Jean honey I’m so glad you enjoyed the photos. Are you talking about the ones on Facebook? I thought you already saw them there? In any event, thank you!
And oh I hated to hear the dog got your sock! Shoot! I would love to learn how to knit socks but this will take awhile to get around to. I’m just inching my way back into things now.
Which Sarton book did you download? I’m excited to know. As you know we became friends in the last years of her life, and I have read and reread and taught her books, they mean so much to me. Can’t wait to hear which one you’re reading and what you think!
And yes, I went, there’s that… 🙂
I ate up your fiber photos. That is exactly the kind of yarn I am looking for, and have no idea where to find.
I am SO glad you went!! Sorry they aren’t your tribe, but maybe the library knows of one, or maybe they even have a group.
Love you twin!
Hey Trece if you are looking for those kind of yarns you will surely find them at etsy, I think you can find them on eBay and other places. Put “Art yarns” in your search engine! Tons of people make all kinds of art yarns. And there is a site I love where I have, in years past, bought a lot of fiber for spinning and the wonderful woman there makes wonderful yarns. That is here:
https://www.sanctuarywool.com/
Good Luck dearheart!