I have been looking for a spiritual home for a very long time. I was raised Catholic, attended many churches through my twenties and thirties and studied Buddhism for decades. I am a lifelong seeker but no church, in the formal sense, felt like a fit for me. I have never doubted my belief in God but formal religion never worked for me. And yet I need a connection with other people of faith, for whom a spiritual foundation is key in their lives. Loving-kindness, compassion, a life dedicated to service, all of these things are important to me. In 2005 after my divorce I legally changed my name to Maitri because maitri is the Buddhist teaching of loving-kindness and compassion. I have longed for a place where everything that I felt, everything that I believed, would come together. I found it tonight.
I have been, as I have written, so terribly lonely it has been hard, at times, to hold on at all. I need to be around people, not just online, real people, here, in my community. Last Wednesday my therapist told me about this group and thought it would be a good fit for me. While not part of the Unitarian Church it is where they meet. I looked at their website online, in fact I read the whole thing, and I was stunned to see that everything I have been looking for, and longing for, was right there. It is called Spiritual Soul Center. When I read the page on the foundation for the organization, what it means, what the core principles and practices are, it shocked me. How could everything I have been looking for be right there, in one place? I went tonight, and it was just what I have indeed been looking for. At a little table in the lobby I got a bumper sticker. I knew I was in the right place when I saw it. It simply said Loving Kindness. At the very bottom that says it all.
And what a perfect time to go for the first time. The first Sunday in advent. The service was beautiful, Rev. Paula Zabkar is just amazing. She is the one I’ve been looking for. I had tears in my eyes as she spoke. Tonight she talked about Dreams and Angels. She spoke about the Christmas story which is told in more than one book in the Bible. During a meditation time those who wished went up and lit a candle and said a prayer. To see all of our candles lit and glowing together moved me deeply. We sang Christmas songs from the book of hymns. It was all so beautiful, and the people there were so loving and open and kind. I had been very afraid to go, and all day long went back and forth inside myself as to whether I really could go. Finally I knew I had to and I did. This service tonight changed something inside of me, it was like coming home. I intend to go every week.
And so I have begun. I have taken a first step outside of myself. It is just one hour, one day a week, although next week they are going out to eat together afterward for fellowship and I intend to go. It is time for me to step outside myself, for an hour or two once a week. I think this is going to change my life.
I am a contemplative. I have lived alone in solitude and silence for, well, it will be 20 years in April. It is what my life mainly is. My work is and will be online. I intend to open my Patreon page early in the year and grow it slowly through the year. In this way, through my work, I will support myself with my writing and other offerings. But to have a connection to a spiritual community here in this town where I live is important too. Tonight Rev. Paula spoke about angels, and tonight I was touched by one. A miracle has occurred in my life. I am filled with awe and wonder. There is grace here, and love, and kindness. This is where I belong. I am filled with gratitude.
My heart is lighter than it has been for some time. I pray that I will find my way, be open to receive the blessings, and be a blessing, in my life, and through my work for others. It is all I have ever wanted. May it be so.
Maitri, I do not think you could have written anything that would have made me happier than this post. To find like-minded people with whom you can share and commune is one of God’s deepest blessings. You deserve this more than anyone I know. Bless you, my dear friend. I pray for these blessings to continue in your life. 💕
Thank you dear Maggie, I appreciate your kind words so much. And though I am still kind of afraid it means so much to me to have found this lovely group. I hope all of us may be led to the blessings that will enhance and enrich our lives. I love you dear Maggie. I hope the holiday season is unfolding with blessings in abundance for you and yours…
Lovely, Maitri, and I hope it opens up a new spiritual path for you.
My mother found community in the Unitarian Fellowship in Austin, where I grew up. She didn’t grow up in any church tradition that I know about, but was a philosophy major in college, so obviously was interested in a spiritual life. She believed in secular humanism keenly; I don’t think she believed in god, but she believed in the goodness of people.
My sister and I went to religious study classes at the Unitarian church, learning about world religions. That was a definitely good thing.
The UU is a good place to land up, I think.
I think she said they meet there, but as a separate faith community. Certainly compatible with the Unitarians!
That’s what nice about Unitarian congregations, I think. When we lived in the Piedmont, the UU fellowship down the street hosted an afternoon congregation that one of my friends attended (she was also a UU member!)
Yes dear Lisa it is held AT the UU Church but not a UU function. Still it is a lovely space and I can see checking out the UU offerings some time this year. My dear friend Katya has a book out that is a collection of her sermons at the UU church that I dearly loved and recently reread. It makes me want to know more. By the way Katya’s book, The Wheel of Belonging, can be found on her site here…
http://creativeartsandhealing.com/pub3.htm
you could not have written a more perfect “credo” to suit who you are, what you need, and the companions to help you fulfill your soul’s purpose. i am so grateful you had the courage to go. you were well rewarded. this is a boon, long sought, now delivered.
i am happy for you, i am happy for them that you are joining their circle.
love and hugs, dear sister
xoxo
ka
Thank you sweet Katya, it was truly beautiful and a blessing in my life. I can’t wait to find out more and get to know the lovely people there…
And hugs back honey…
M. xoxox
Dear Maitri, I am so happy you found a group of people with like minds. I am so glad your angels helped you get there and you heard more about angels. So wonderful.
Much Love, Jean
Thank you dear Jean, and of course I thought of you when Rev. Paula was talking about the angels. May our angels always be with us. May we, each and every one, be blessed.
I love you dear Jean…
Maitri, I too am so happy to see you were brave and went and look what your found. Exactly what you were looking for. You got your bliss on for sure. You very much needed this fellowship and moral support. I am so happy for you. You are truly blessed and blissed. I am so grateful for and with you.
Thank you sweet Paula, it was a lovely time indeed and I look forward to going back. I still feel a little shy, it will take awhile for me to feel a part of things, but I have begun and that is the hardest part. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I hope you have a blessed and beautiful holiday season…
Oh, Maitri, blessings are in store for you but those other people are in for a treat having you in their midst! You and they will fit together like pieces in a puzzle. Cliches aside, I am so glad for you that you’ve met good people.
What a joy!
Thank you sweet Marge, it was a blessing indeed. I have needed this for so long and I am so happy to have found it.
I hope you have a beautiful holiday season. You are in my heart and prayers, always…
Maitri,
Good for you. Good for them. Good for found and shared spiritualism.
Happy Holidays,
Gentle Hugs,
Lauren
Thank you so much dear Lauren, and I hope you and yours have a lovely Hanukkah and holiday season. Your lovely gift box is right here on my studio table and I treasure it. I am sending you a warm hug and so much love. May the Festival of Lights light the way into a beautiful new year ahead, filled with blessings in abundance…
Golly this is delightful news! I’m so very happy for you. Love you!
Thank you my darling Noni, I love you so dearly…
May that sense of joyful acceptance and community hold you in safe hands. It sounds as if you have found a spiritual home.
Thank you so much dear Cathryn, and I think I may have. I’ve only been there once but will be going again on Sunday and look forward to it. I feel a little afraid and shy still but the hardest part was just going the first time and that I have done. Hold a good thought for me will you honey. I need this so much. I hope it will be all that I have hoped for. And I hope you have a blessed and beautiful holiday season…