The disappointing thing is that I took a lot of pictures trying to get one that would really show how pretty my blue-lit cottage looks but there is no way, at least with my iPhone which is the only way I take pictures these days, that seems to be able to capture how enchanting it really looks. But let me tell you, my whole little home is positively glowing and I am more delighted than I can tell you.
Yesterday Rachel came over and though I wrote about having a hard day, which it was, Rachel being here was sweet and wonderful as always. We had coffee and finished watching the last 3 episodes of the show we have been binge-watching together (“Homeland” with Julia Roberts, an Amazon special production. We loved it. It was creepy and we decided it was something like a cross between Alfred Hitchcock and Twin Peaks!) and then she and I (mostly she) hung the blue lights on my front porch. I adore blue lights, they are kind of a signature thing here at Christmas though I have not done it since the fire. My front door and garage door are painted sky blue, the house white brick, and the blue lights just absolutely make the whole place glow in a dreamy way. I wish I could get a really good picture but the above will have to suffice. If you click on the picture above however it should open in another window and you can get a better view. Better-ish.
This is one of the things that fills my heart with joy in the middle of difficult and uncertain days. Today I went back to the doctor, actually, it is a nurse practitioner that I see at the clinic who is handling my case and she is absolutely fabulous. I asked her, somewhat nervously, how you could tell how my leg is doing. I mean, the thing about a blood clot is you can’t see how it’s doing, not without getting another ultrasound which is incredibly expensive for someone with no medical insurance. I am already dealing with a mess of paperwork and phone calls working with the people who handle “Charity Care” at the hospital for the first ultrasound. Essentially what I was told today is that since the swelling is going down in my leg, which is of course a good thing, and nothing looks worse, and they trust that the medication is doing what it is supposed to do, they won’t do another ultrasound unless things get worse. Which means you take the medication and hope and pray for the best. Which isn’t a completely comfortable way to move through your days when just less than 2 weeks ago you were told that you had a blood clot from your groin to your ankle and if you’d waited another two weeks “you would have been in serious trouble,” but what can you do? I am on the medication I should be on, I am following the instructions I have been given to the letter, I am doing everything that I can, and she is keeping an eye on me. I was given a new prescription, 3 months worth, but I go back on January 2 to be checked again. I don’t know any more than I have just told you, but if you wouldn’t mind continuing to hold me in your prayers I would appreciate it more than I can say. Follow instructions, take good care, pray, and try not to freak out. It’s all I can do, and I’m doing it.
For now, for today, for this moment, I am more delighted than I can say, when I go out past dark, and see my little house glowing with the blue Christmas lights Rachel put up yesterday. We do the best we can in a scary time and focus on that which brings us joy. My little blue-lit cottage is bringing me great joy, in fact it is so pretty I am thinking about leaving them up past Christmas. Why not? It is magic. At my age I’m all about having all the magic I can. I love these lights.
And I love you all. Thank you for being there, and for the sweet emails and texts. If I don’t answer very quickly please understand that I am doing the best I can right now, and part of that has to do with resting and being quiet. I need to be quiet now, and I am spending a lot of time not answering people because that is a kind of self care too. I am finding that although it is difficult sometimes not answering is what I need to do. Please understand. I’m doing the best I can.
I hope you are finding joy in the season, and I hope you are putting up twinkly lights. Magic heals. It is healing me. I’m looking for more places to put lights up inside. I am basking in the glow…
Be blessed, Maitri. ❤️
Thank you darling Maggie, thank you so much. And you as well honey…
It looks lovely, Maitri, bathed in blue light. Be well.
Thank you Lisa, I hope you are well too…
I love blue lights. My white house with blue bricks love blue and white lights.
Keep taking care of yourself. You are doing a great job.
Lauren
Thank you so much dear Lauren, and you have a white and blue house too! I love that. And I am trying my best, I really am, and that’s all I can do. Having you all here with me helps so much, makes me feel less alone and afraid. I love you, and bless you honey, and I love your new dog! How wonderful! I’m so glad you got this sweet baby. Happy holidays to you all…
Tom always puts up rows of lights in our living room and dining room windows (facing the street), hung from the valence – all different colors. They make the whole living area glow… we usually put them up in the first week of december, but don’t get our tree until about the 15th. we put lights on the tree too, and favorite ornaments, and tom’s angel from childhood. we hang the big cloth/woven santa we inherited from my mom and dad on the coat closet door (it’s “life-sized.”) most important, in december is when our whole family – me, tom, and alana – write our holiday letters to send out (by real mail) to friends and extended family all over America… so this time of year, i begin thinking, what will i say? how can i sum up this year?
Continue to have quiet days of self-pampering, and looking with joy on the many lights all over your abode dear Maitri… You too are a light …
Oh sweet Katya I would love to see pictures of your rooms all lit up with different colored lights. I think the lights just make the whole world magic! And I look forward to your Christmas letters so much every year. What a treasure. I know this year has held a lot for you and I look forward to seeing what you write.
And thank you for your lovely words, “You too are a light.” It made my heart happy to read that. I hope in some way I can be that for others. I want to feel that I have something to offer in the world.
I love you honey,
M. xoxox
What a beautiful picture of your blue lights! I know that we cannot see it as your eyes can but to me it is soooo pretty. I love the sparkling Christmas tree too.
I am not much of a Christmas person but this year I have been watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark channels. I have avoided them like the plague for years. I don’t know what got into me to watch them but I’m loving them. I love the different ways the movies present the Ghost of Christmas past, present and future. So creative!
I know this doesn’t have anything to do with decorating and I leave that up to my husband. He loves to do the decorating. I love to enjoy them.
Much love, angels and healing surrounding you Maitri.
Jean
Thank you so much dear Jean. I am loving the lights so much.
And isn’t it wonderful, watching Christmas stories this time of the year makes me so happy. I just love them. I watched an interesting movie on amazon a couple of nights ago, it was free. It was called “The Man Who Invented Christmas” and was about Charles Dickens and how he wrote “A Christmas Carol.” Fun to find a new Christmas movie.
And thank you dearheart, much love to you as well. And may the angels surround us all, always. Peace, love, and joy to you…
Maitri
Blessings abound! Hugs and love from Marge:)
Thank you so much dear Marge, peace, love and joy to you…
Maitri…first of all, I am so delighted that your blood clot seems to be getting better, and, since you are doing everything in your power (and we are doing everything in ours by praying), you can only do your best and that, I believe, is all that is ever asked of us. Next, your magical cottage is just amazing…perhaps you don’t think the picture is great but, in my opinion, I think it is just a magical and wonderful place to be! Finally, I, too enjoy little twinkle lights, and I keep them up all year round–so I encourage you to do the same. I don’t go out after dark very often, but, when I have too, I am always so thrilled to see my “lit up” cottage as I come back home….there’s no doubt that it’s my home and I think it gives others a sense of warmth and love. I hope you decide to keep the lights up! Prayers and warm hugs to you!
Thank you so much dear Barbara, and thank you especially for the prayers, they mean so much. And oh! I love that you keep your lights up. I would love to leave them up all year round but then I was thinking, this morning, that if they are up all year it wouldn’t feel special when the holidays came to have them up. I would love to though.
Peace, love and joy to you dearheart, may you be blessed and may you have a wonderful holiday season…
Maitri–I’m back again…I should have re-read my comment before I sent it to you! I am an English teacher and my fingers type too fast! First of all, there should be a comma after the first “too” where I say, “Finally, I, too, enjoy…” and second, when I say “when I have too,” obviously, I typed too many “o’s” and it should be, “when I have to.” The grammarian in me just would not let this rest until I sent this comment…perhaps, too, the OCD in me? LOL! Since you are a write like me, I am sure seeing both of those mistakes may have made you flinch a little? Anyway, prayers and hugs to you from this crazy English teacher! (Hopefully, there are no grammatical mistakes in THIS comment!)
Oh Barbara, honey, I honestly didn’t even notice! I just so love and appreciate when people take the time to comment, I feel people’s hearts and presence in my life, that’s all that matters to me. No worries, really! 🙂
Very beautiful! I would let the lights stay till spring comes back.
You are in my prayers every day, will send you a picture of the candles I light for you in church.
Reading about the US health care system makes me very humble and glad to have health insurance, just in case…
When you wrote the ER would have been too expensive, oh dear! Would they really have sent you home to die because you don’t have insurance? I was so shocked!
Dear Maitri, I hope your leg keeps healing! Very much looking forward to your next christmassy photos.
Yours
Silke
Thank you dear Silke, and I appreciate the prayers and the candles so much.
And the health care system here is indeed very difficult when you have no insurance and don’t have the money to pay. There is Charity Care which I fill out the paperwork for and I think they have to take you in the emergency room but the costs are prohibitive and Charity Care does not cover the emergency room so I don’t know what you would have to do. It is very scary I can tell you that.
I hope you have blessed and happy holidays. I would love to see your house decorated for Christmas too… 🙂
Love,
Maitri