Some days come to a close and we have not been able to do all that we might ordinarily have done. Such is this day for me. Rachel came over and we had a lovely time together, but I have felt a sadness creeping in, a hard thing happened with someone I care about, and I am feeling overwhelmed with all that I am going through and all that needs to be done before the end of the year. I am feeling weary and teary and unable to cope. Such days come, and they pass, but tonight I have decided to just take it easy.
This 365 day journey on this blog isn’t as easy for me this time around, coming just on the heels of the hurricane, losing my little Delilah, and now dealing with the bloodclot in my leg which has frightened me badly. Most days I cope, today was harder. Today there were things I needed to get done and couldn’t, today my heart is heavy and I am afraid.
I will leave it here then. I will continue to try to do my best but right now I don’t know what that is going to look like. Please forgive me and bear with me as I find my way. I am trying my best and some days it just feels too hard.
I go back to the doctor tomorrow to have my leg checked and medication changed. I’m kind of afraid. Tomorrow may be another short, touch base post. I can make no promises just now…
Take care of yourself as best you can. We all wish you health and happiness.
Gentle hugs,
Lauren
Thank you so much Lauren honey, I am doing the best I can. I go back to the doctor today, please hold a good thought for me…
Personally, I’m finding a daily blog post somewhat challenging at the moment!
As an adult, I’ve always found family-oriented holidays like Thanksgiving rather trying, even though I had lovely Thanksgivings growing up. Adjusting to our new pattern of staying home through the holiday season instead of traveling —well, nice, basically, but different. And going to a snowy climate for our winter trip — yikes! But it will be discovering a new side of a place that’s also home.
You know Lisa, throughout the last year’s 365 day challenge there were times that it was hard to get things up especially in April when my sweet Tanner died, but this time, I was just at the end of the first year when the hurricane hit, was without power for a week, and started back in as soon as I got power and finished the first year and because I had invited people to join me with their own 365 day project I felt duty bound to jump right into the next year’s project but the hurricane disaster here was and is very serious and then my sweet Delilah had a harrowing 2 weeks of doctors visits and finally passed and 2 weeks later the blood clot came up. It is like being knocked down every time you get up again and this last piece, the blood clot, took me down hard. What could once feel challenging — getting the blog post up — many days now feels impossible. I am doing the best I can, I am hanging in, but it is very hard and my future on many levels is uncertain. I’m having a hard time keeping up and I’d feel terrible not to. A real rock and a hard place situation. I am doing my best, that’s all I can do.
And I hope you enjoy your holidays at home. I can’t imagine traveling all the time as you have done, that would not be peaceful or happy for me, but then it’s hard for me to even leave my house. I hope you have a beautiful time….
P.S. I hope your follow up tomorrow goes well. All good thoughts.
Thank you honey…
Dear Maitri,
You are always in my prayers. I know going back to the doctor is hard so I hope the visit is positive. I will be praying for you.
You need not promise anyone anything. This is your blog and you give what is right for you. Some days are more difficult than others.
Maggie, as I wrote to Lisa above in the first year’s project there were challenging days but this is much much harder. Having finished the first project and launched right into the next year’s because of all the people who were joining me I jumped in during a terrible hard time but then losing Delilah and now this health challenge well, it is all so much worse, so much harder than an occasional bad day. I am overwhelmed and frightened about all that needs doing. I don’t know how to hold on and keep up but I’m trying my best, that’s all I can do. I appreciate your love, help and support so much. And thank you for the prayers, I need those most of all right now…