What I need tonight is to be quiet. I am not living easily in the land of words. My dear friend Katya with whom I was regularly writing stories asked me if I were ready to write stories again. I told her I was not. I love doing it but I have struggled, since the hurricane, to do much more than get these blog posts up. And then I lost Delilah, and now this current health challenge, and finally I can barely get the blog posts up, and today I’m just not going to make it. I told her I needed to just sit quietly and stitch because I can be quiet with my hands moving meditatively with needle and thread and not have to think. I have been very sad since losing Delilah and very afraid since ending up at the hospital last week and finding out that there is this blood clot to deal with. I need to get out of my head where the scary thoughts are, I need to be quiet.
I am taking the night off. I will work on my embroidery, watch a movie, and relax. Tomorrow I have to go out to therapy. I don’t know how it will feel tomorrow. I am doing my best here. I am trying. But tonight I have to be quiet and rest.
It’s okay to be still. Take care of yourself dear one. I am. I must.
Maitri, my friend, I appreciate that quiet is all that will answer the need sometimes. Especially when times are hard and we aren’t always sure exactly what to ask for — especially from others. And sometimes, we are just too tired to even think let alone talk. I am so glad you are tending to yourself and your needs. I hope that if you need me, you will reach out. Otherwise, I honor your silence, your quiet and your meditation. Sending you love and continual prayers.
Thank you Maggie honey, you are so sweet, I love you…
Dear Maitri, It’s so good to know when we need to be quiet and take care of ourselves. Good for you that you know and follow what you need.
Much Love, Jean
Thank you Jean honey, yes, I really need the quiet now. I think so much has happened, the hurricane, losing little Delilah, this current health challenge, and then going into the holidays now, I feel so overwhelmed I need to have quiet to try to get my bearings and figure out what is going on and what I need to do which is, in the main, now, to just rest and take care of myself. I had a lovely quiet night, I actually watched 2 favorite Thanksgiving movies last night, and stitched, and snuggled with Pugsley, and it was “just what the doctor ordered.” I feel more peaceful and rested today.
I hope you are well. I am sending you much love and a gentle, warm hug…
Maitri