The Art Of Accepting What Is ~ Part 1…

This is the first time I have ever done something like this but it felt very important that I do so. Since opening Patreon and then starting my YouTube channel whole worlds of possibilities are opening up to me — in how and in what manner I am able to express myself and get my message across, in deepening my understanding of my message and work in the world, and in more fully embracing my life, as it is, as the miracle that it is, just as it is, right now. Hence, because I seem to “say” different things, which perhaps complete a thought across forms, I am writing this blog post first (Part 1) and once I get the post up and out I will record my Sunday Afternoon With Maitri video (Part 2). You could read the blog post, or watch the video, but I think they will work together, in a way, as a whole experience, or so I imagine, and I’d love feedback from all of you. Further, and one final note on the aspect of how things work together, since I have been laid up, since my fall a week ago Friday, and am looking at a 3-6 month recovery, my thoughts have gone very deep on this subject and I am beginning to envision it as an eBook/eCourse. More about that later. Now to the matter at hand.

I think that we live in a very confusing age. While on the one hand teachings on mindfulness, “living in the moment,” abound, at the same time we are urged to go for our dreams, shoot for the stars, set intentions to bring things into reality, MAKE VISION BOARDS! I have done and taught and practiced all of those things. I meditate. I pray. But while the world and the people in it have been rushing toward their goals, while also trying to be mindful, and often collapsing somewhere in the middle, or getting caught in the cracks between the two, when do we just stop, take a deep breath, and come to a halt? Enter the silence. Be still, and look around. Interesting that the Covid virus has led people to a place where they are in a perfect position to do just that. Shelter in place, we are told. And yet people are fighting against it, staying home but depressed. Overeating, consuming more alcohol perhaps than usual, (I have done both of those things but have found myself again eliminating my wine consumption, for now, and going back to a strict diet. I feel world’s better.). Watching endless Netflix fare, frozen, numb, or both. People don’t know what to do with themselves. I would like to suggest that you start here…

Stop whatever you are doing. Close your eyes and sit quietly and breathe. Feel yourself settling into your body. When you feel that you have gently floated to the bottom and are completely still inside yourself slowly, ever so slowly, open your eyes. Keep breathing. First feel your body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. In your mind you can think, “This is my body, right now, in this moment. Thank you.

There are people who have crossed over and no longer inhabit their bodies, their lives are over, there are no more chances, in this lifetime, to grow, or change, or create anything. You and I, right here, right now, are in our bodies. I am a 66 year old overweight disabled woman and some would see that as a disadvantage, especially now, laid up after a bad fall with a long recovery ahead of me, but you know what? I am alive! I am here, and I deeply love, and more to the point accept, my whole being just as it is.

I close my eyes again and I travel down my body from the inside out and the outside in, from my baby fine hair, and almost not there eyelashes, and eyes that are beginning to develop -but still see fine with glasses, to my face which is lopsided and cattywompus from Bell’s Palsy years ago that never completely went away, to my “womanly” body, to my fragile and vulnerable feet that have been broken, operated on, and developed serious neuropathy so that they are, in large part numb, causing me to be a fall risk, all of it, from my eyelashes to my toes, are who I am, right now, in this moment, and I have never loved myself more than I do right now. I am beautiful, with a tender heart bigger than a full moon. I am soft-spoken and quiet for the most part and very gentle. I love who I am.

I now take very good care of myself because I love myself that much. I have lost a lot of weight, gained a bunch back during Covid, but am losing weight again. Except for my purple foot, sprained with, most likely, torn ligaments, and my purple chin, I am actually in better health than I have been in in years. My ongoing challenges with mental health issues, since early childhood, are indeed challenging, but I take care of myself as best I can with weekly therapy, medication, and close supervision from my wonderful practitioners, along with meditation, and, most importantly, accepting what is. I have spent a lifetime anxious, afraid, and depressed, but I am beginning to recognize that with all the varied wellness efforts woven together, and a very deep daily practice of self-love, and most importantly stopping the striving and hoping, and vision-boarding, and trying to manifest millions of dollars and countless things, love, and more, (and to what end?), I am content right now with things as they are. If we are not gently settled into ourselves, if we do not accept the body and the life that we have, right now, in this moment, we will never reach all the lofty dreams that we have held onto for years. I am just, at 66, learning this, and it is the most important thing I have ever learned.

I have been so worried and afraid about money since my house burned down and I lost nearly everything 6 1/2 years ago that I have gone from scrambling as fast as I can to try to figure out how to make money to falling into the depths of depression in a pit so deep I feared I would never find my way out. And this isn’t a plug for Patreon, cross my heart, but it has been starting Patreon that helped me begin to see clearly. It is a container that can hold all of the different bits and parts and pieces of my creative life, from my 20’s on, everything I have ever created has led to the creation of Maisie’s World and it is so much more than I ever imagined. I have even stopped worrying how many Patrons I will someday grow to, although certainly I care. I can only do my work, offer all that I can, with all the love in my heart, and cherish those women who have indeed joined, or will join, me there. And in every other area of my creative life, this website and blog, all of my social media, my new video channel and more, it is all open to everyone, men and women, and I am sitting here quietly with you (in my heart and mind this is truly so), looking you deeply in the eyes, and holding your hand. We are not alone, we are never alone, and we are deeply loved, just as we are, in this moment, always, and forever.

I have been and am in a lot of pain since my fall, while at the same time the fall itself has been a catalyst for change, an awakening. And what keeps coming back to me, over and over, are the beautiful words of Leonard Cohen… “Ring the bells that still can ring/Forget your perfect offering/There is a crack in everything/that’s how the light gets in.” The first time those words, which have been important to me since I heard them years ago, came to me, I cried. I cried not from sadness, or a kind of grieving what once was and never can be again, I experienced no sense of loss, but I was cracked open, and the light, at first trickling, and then flooding in, changed me in some profound way. I know, as I write these words, that I will never be the same.

When I become afraid, when I doubt myself, as we all will, I firmly tell myself these 3 things: Trust In God, Just Do Your Work, and Just Do The Next Right Thing. That’s all I have to do, that’s all any of us have to do.

Building Maisie’s World, I now realize, is more than drawing and painting Maisie. Doing the art is the outer manifestation of what is happening inside of me. I have to draw/paint/write/teach/and share. That’s the thing about having finally started Patreon. You have no idea what it is, how it will grow and change, what you will discover, until you actually do it. I show up each day, start with my “Morning Coffee With Maitri” video which I do 5 days a week, and then create and offer what I can, and as I approach the start of my 3rd month on Patreon I am at a very different place, I am finding my way, I am settling into myself and my work, I am filled with gratitude because I am finding my way into all the myriad aspects of my life and work and weaving them together as one. I have never felt more fulfilled or happy. But it all starts with a practice of accepting what is, as it is, in the moment. Miracles happen, and change occurs, and we grow and expand over time, but the miracles only come when we are in the middle of the doing and being and loving. I have finally discovered this and it is the deepest thing I know.

I have so much to say, so very much I want to say, but I will continue on, having clarified, for myself, what I think (In the manner of “I don’t know what I think until I see what I say.” — Variations of this quote have been attributed to both E.M. Forster and Flannery O’Connor.) and now that I am clearer I will continue on with Part 2 by recording, as soon as I upload this post, the rest of my thoughts on this subject. I have found, through recording my morning videos, how very much I not only like coming “face to face” with others, but also when I speak my thoughts outloud I reach a whole different and deeper place than by just writing words on paper. To me, now, they are both essential.

I hope you will join me in both places, and share your thoughts here in the comments or after the video at YouTube. I have now put the video at the bottom of this post, and you can also find it on my YouTube channel.

Stop, right now. Stop reaching and striving and projecting and wishing things were different than they are right now. Of course you will hold those thoughts in your heart, and you should, but they will not come to pass until you fully accept what is, in your body, and in your life, and love yourself as you are right now. That’s when the miracles will begin to occur. They are right there waiting for you to embrace yourself and love what is. Your very life depends on it.

Here then is the video, Sunday Afternoon With Maitri * The Art of Accepting What Is, Part 2… just up!