In the spring I started a women’s circle called “Healing A Woman’s Heart Through Writing and Art.” That program is now a closed and very small group of women that I love dearly and who have become family to me, and what I started, what I wanted to do, was to teach them this magical thing… the healing power of writing and art, the transformational tools that can lift someone up and show them the beauty and wonder of their own life, a process where all of the odd things, the imperfect things, become the glorious things, and how we can come to deepen our relationship with ourselves and find true compassion, and kindness toward our wobbling, trembly, human hearts with a pen or a paintbrush in hand. I did not know, when I began, that the project that I started wouldn’t grow into what I had hoped, but what it did grow into, and what I was trying to say, would save my life.
It has been a very hard year, the hardest of my life. And yet I have found this incredible thing, a way to share, as I have always wanted to, what it is like to live as a woman with Bi Polar disorder and a host of other oddities and to share how the pain and uncertainty of life can be managed through these mediums.
All this has led me to writing a book about writing and art and life for those of us who just don’t or can’t live in the world in the usual way, and in the process I am beginning to find out amazing things about myself. I am reading, writing, and drawing non-stop and I am finding a healing and an ease that I have never really known.
What I want to say, right here, and right now, is that if you have always wanted to write, to draw, to make any kind of art, and something has held you back, why don’t you join me right here on this blog. As I write about my process and my journey, as you see Tallulah and Georgia develop and grow (Georgia’s ears are too long and her fur is too dark. I am still learning how to draw her and I have a new little paint set on the way because I didn’t have the right colors, but that’s okay, I adore her, and it’s fun learning, and I have four pugs to help me along and advise me!) and you can leave comments after my entries here on the blog and you can answer one another. I read all of the comments but my energy often flags after I write a post so that I revel in the wonderful comments and whisper “Thank you” on the wind and hope you know how much I love you and appreciate the time you take. But I promise that just coming here and making simple declarative statements (or more) “I am finally writing about… (Or drawing, or whatever.) creates bountiful energy inside of you to get you going and keep you going. Be brave, do it for YOU, no one ever has to see it, but it can change your life.
Me? In the bi polary way my days go I have not yet eaten dinner and it is past 11:30 p.m. My days are all inside out and upside down but as long as I keep moving forward, getting enough rest, and take care of myself I let my days be what they will. Learn to love yourself and your days and your bits and parts and celebrate them every way that you can.
I will end here and make a little dinner and do my end of the day unwinding things. Tallulah and I have great talks late at night and I write it all down in my journal. And little pug pictures are peeking around the corners of the pages, and I have entered Tallulah’s world to help make sense of mine. I hope that someday her story will help others too.
Love from Dragonfly Cottage to you wherever you are, and do come on back and and share what you’re up to in the comments. I’d love to cheer you on. It’s going to be a fun time ahead…
I am so happy that you are happy drawing and writing. It is awesome. I am looking forward to see Tallulah’s story unfold. And Georgia’s of course. <3
For me, I painted yesterday and didn't really like what I made. Although today I think it is ok. I realised that I am far to obsessed with the outcome and if I like the pictures. What is more important is to paint and stay in the process. And I learn a lot about myself everytime I paint.
Have a wonderful time enjoying what you are doing 🙂
Greetings from foggy Switzerland, Corinna
Oh yes beautiful Corinna, it is all about process. As I said, Georgia is getting there but I haven’t had the right paint colors to do her fur properly and her ears are too long but I fall in love with her at every stage and am delighted with myself for simply forging ahead. Onwards and upwards dear friend and fall in love with your life every step along the way! Brava!
I Simply Adore this Painting of Tulluluah & Georgia and your Words Are So Inspiring ! ! ! Maitri, I Am Grateful For You ! ! !
Thank you so much dear Janice and I am so grateful for you as well dearheart. I am so happy that you are part of our healing circle. There is magic there …. 🙂
your drawings are so delightful! i never knew, in all these years, that you could draw as well as write. and how quirky, just like their creator. (of course you outed yourself with the first drawing of the Ladies). i love to picture you bent over your journal, painting, sketching, writing tidbits, getting up, walking out in your (snowy?) garden while the pugs scamper after you, heating up water for coffee or tea (remember Tea Mind, Be Kind?)… what does Talullah prefer (coffee or tea), and all the other ways you fill up your days, dear maitri. i stand beside you, smiling, witnessing your creativity, your nerve, your love flowing to all who find their way to your website — yay, you!
xoo
ka
Oh sweet darling Katya, dear sister, Yay YOU!!!! And thank you, and, alas, Tallulah turns her nose up at tea though I do try to tell her to at least have some green tea because it is so good for her. She is a latte, or strong coffee person all the way. What are you going to do? You create them and then they have their own minds. As I recently wrote I am in her but she is not me… 🙂
I just love your paintings of Tallulah and Georgia…So colorful and full of life! I’m so glad that you are happy and enjoying your life. I am doing well also. It has been very healing to be taking care of my mom as she recovers. I am pain free for the first time in two years since the car accident. I am on medication that is non narcotic and other than weight gain, no other side effects. I am seeing and feeling the wonder and joy of my life and it is nothing short of a miracle. I send my love to you and the puglets and Miss Scarlet. All shall be well!
My darling Donna all shall be well indeed! And I am so happy to hear that your mother is on the mend and mostly that YOU are doing so well, a beautiful incredible miracle indeed. I am just so so happy to hear this news. Take care dearheart and may your days ahead hold the healing love and joy you have long sought….
Donna, wonderful news that you are pain free now. New lease on life.
I wish Georgia was my dog. 🙂
He he he Marya, well, through this book Georgia is kind of everybody’s dog. Everybody can adopt her into their heart and love her too…. 🙂
This is absolutely delightful, brimming with creativity and inspiration and wisdom. Such a joy to follow this journey, with all its bumps and detours.
Darling Cathryn, thank you so much, and oh lawdy yes it’s been a long time coming, but without the journey I wouldn’t be here, and I think all my life I have been waiting to find Tallulah and Georgia. Do you know that several times in my life I have tried to write a book about someone named Tallulah? I’ve no idea, well, yes I DO know why this name. It is because I so loved Tallulah Bankhead, her autobiography was a delight. In it she said, “It’s the good girls who keep the diaries, the bad girls never have the time.” There were many Tallulahisms in that book and I fell in love with her for life. But I was trying to “make Tallulah up” instead of finding the part of me that is Tallulah, and instead of sadly being relegated to “good girl” because of that quote, I get to be the, well, if not bad, wonky, lopsided, cattywompus girl. I finally found my alter ego, the lady that could tell my story. And so it is! Wonderful stuff! 🙂
What wonderful weaving of the story between Tallulah, Georgia, and yourself! I’ve been swinging between high and low days so getting things started is hard enough. You are such an inspiration, though, and I hope you keep healing and sharing.
Thank you so much Valerie honey and oh do I ever know the highs and the lows. I hope you find that nice soft middle ground to land soon. Until then take good care of you sweet one…. <3
It seems to me, after struggling with various “issues” for longer than I’d like (and some still to go) that it is the gifts of our imperfections (Brene Brown’s book title) that are also our guides and teachers to a more open and wonderful life. Thanks, Maitri, for being so open about your challenges and sharing your abundant gifts of writing, art, and creativity with us.
Oh Lisa honey you are so welcome, and yes, the truth is that we learn far more working with and through the challenges than when we are gliding through the easier times. You have been making such huge leaps in growth and have made so many changes since we first talked the beginning of the year. You are amazing and it is just lovely to watch you grow through it all. Sending you love and a hug… <3
Maitri, I could’t be happier for you. Your musings and adventures with Tullulah and Georgia are so filled with joy and fills me with joy to see you recovering from your sufferings this year. Many blessings yet to come sister. You go girl!
Thank you so much Paula Honey. It is as though they have come to me as a gift, but also as a long held dream, to finally write about what it’s like to live with bi polar disorder in a way that tells the truth but has touching, joyful moments as well, the whole picture, with ideas for people who want to put self care practices in place to help them through. And you all are such a huge support. Thank you so much honey. I love you… <3