“And in those first fifty years I believed there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and it was my goal to find that pot of gold. Now I realize that we are the rainbow, the pot of gold is love, and that is what we actually are.”
Gerald G. Jampolsky
Love Is Leting Go of Fear
In the late 1970’s my psychiatrist gave me a book. He said, “Take it home and read it. I want you to finish it before our next session.” He didn’t say more than that but it greatly changed everything for me. The book was Gerald Jampolsky’s Love Is Letting Go Of Fear. He went on to publish many more books, and I read them, and loved them, and, as the years went on, sadly, as so often happens, I forgot all about them. That is until last night.
One can only wallow in fear for so long before they either take that step from which there is no turning back, or turn a corner and once more walk back into the light. At the moment of my deepest despair when I couldn’t imagine what would happen to me those 6 words blazed through my mind like a streak of lightning, and they throbbed inside my head so that with my eyes closed I could see them flashing inside my forehead as if in neon… LOVE-IS-LETTING-GO-OF-FEAR. In that moment I realized that I could choose fear or I could choose love. I could allow myself to be afraid but it wasn’t going to change anything. I have to have the appointment tomorrow morning with the woman about disability. I have to figure out where to go from there. I have to work with the builders who are rebuilding the cottage and the endless people and paperwork with the insurance company. I have to do so many things and in that moment, as if hitching myself to a shooting star, something in me woke up and shot across the sky as if being slung from a sling shot across time and space. In that moment I chose not just for now but for the rest of my life. This is who I am, this is what I teach, this is how I will get through whatever lies ahead. I will let go of the fear and wrap myself in a blanket of love. It will keep me warm through the cold days ahead.
I’m no Pollyanna. I know that as sure as I write these words I will become afraid again, I will lose faith, I will feel hopeless at times, no, that’s not true, I am not hope-less, I have never lost hope completely or I wouldn’t still be here. What I know is that if I keep coming back to the present moment, where I know I am safe, if I keep repeating those words like a mantra… LOVE…IS…LETTING…GO…OF…FEAR as I finger my prayer beads, I know that I can hold on, move on, and grow into the future that awaits me. I am hope-full, I want to make it through this and then turn around and hold my hand out and help those who are coming after me to get through this, these hard times and fearful days. This is what I have always done with my work, lived through whatever the present hurdle was and then wrote about it as if sending notes in bottles to those who might need help, and love. My message is You are not alone, I am here, we will make it.
I believe this to be true. I will make it, you will make it, we will make it and there will be great glory and tremendous grace on the other side of all of this.
I didn’t know until today, after decades of knowing about this book, that Jampolsky wrote his book because he was inspired by A Course In Miracles. Well of course. It makes perfect sense. Such powerful work. I studied it in a church group in my 30’s and again, like the book I am returning to now, it slipped away from me. But it is powerful soul-food. And I think of the quote that I have long loved by Marianne Williamson whose work with A Course In Miracles is known worldwide…
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson
A Return to Love: Reflections on the
Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
I don’t know what will happen tomorrow during that phone call but here is the way I am looking at it now. It is just information. I talk to the person who calls and I give them information and they give me information and I learn/figure out where to go from there. I will not be afraid. I will approach the person on the phone with an open heart. I will be present, and I will be sitting in the heart of love. I don’t have control of everything, or anything, but I do have choice, and I choose love…
Oh… Love bless you. I can’t tell you what you’ve done for me in writing the above, and in sharing your process / life as openly and heart-fully as you do. I do so adore and love you.
We’ll be energetically standing with you, shoulder to shoulder, radiating love all around as you have your call, my sweet! <3
What perfect timing for those words to “click.” You’re beginning to sound more like the Maitri I know and love. Brave, hopeful, ready to tackle the next job. I often wonder if I could endure all you are facing and be so positive and full of grace. Never forget that you are loved and you are not alone. EVER. Never. We will be with you in spirit tomorrow only because we can’t be right there holding your hand. I wish I could. I truly do. So, my friend, go with God. You are in good Hands there. Tomorrow you will have the first step done that you are nervous about. Ahh, just think how relieved you will be. You will know exactly what to do next. Sleep well tonight. Kiss the pugs for me. The Brown critters send their meows and dooks. xo
wow, what a turn-round
goodbye fear, hello to love
the phoenix rises
xo
ka
Yes, Maitri! I read that book too, and a Course in Miracles. Surround yourself with positive words and energy….love IS letting go of fear. I will be with you in spirit as will many powerful women when you make your call. Knowledge is power! You will be collecting information and it will be from people who will help you. Stay strong, dear friend, you are rich beyond belief, because you have the love and support of so many. Sending you so much love, faith and hope…
Big huggggs. It’s the battle with ourselves that has to be fought, not the one with others. And the end result: love yourself and others and peace will come.
You’ve given me something to think about.
Recently I let my emotions take over to present someone something to grow. It was (afterwards) clear she wasn’t ready for that, and she almost physically hit me through the internet. I was hurt. Hurt because she was not able to see it was meant in a positive way from an unconditional loving heart.
I went back in my safe cocoon: silence. I didn’t want to burden her anymore with a bit of me. And I have to admit: it felt OK for a while.
I thought that perhaps it would be wise to shut up and stop putting my energy in other people’s well-being and growth, as I need so much energy at the moment to stay alive.
What you’ve written makes clear I should speak out against injustice and use my talents in a positive ways. because that’s who I am.
When I shine light and people make the choice to wear dark glasses and turn away because they are afraid their own light is not firm enough, I shouldn’t stop shining to give them a good feeling about themselves. They have to find out that they can shine themselves just as well, and that we all have different colours and frequencies and we can all shine at the same time.
So again, Maitri, you touched me, you inspired me, taught me.
You are the miracle you hoped for yourself.
The inspiration we need comes when we call on the universe for that miracle net to appear over the canyon of fear. I’m so darned familiar with that canyon I can do guided tours into it. For you to reach the precipice and hear the voice of the power of love over fear inspires us all. Everyone of us will repeatedly skid to a halt at that edge. When we do, we will be able to recall your words. Right now the net must seem flimsy indeed, but it is strong – for it is woven by your own soul and the hearts of all of us who surround you.
You have been on my mind today. Hoping your interview was productive.
Thank you all so much. Your loving friendship and support mean more than I can possibly say. I finished the application today, it took 2 days, and I heaved a sigh of relief. It is out of my hands for now and I am glad to have it done. I could allow fear about the process and what will happen overwhelm me but I will not allow that to happen. I have survived much in my life and I will survive this too, and I am able to do so, in large part, because of the support, prayers, and love that all of you are showing me. Thank you dearhearts, thank you so much…
Love,
Maitri
Exactly, Maitri – when i read your previous post that was full of fear and angst, I thought the very thing that you have put in this post – let go of fear, believe that the Universe is a safe place for all of us and that a solution will be found. In fact, if you EXPECT a satisfactory solution to be found, it will show up even faster…. much love and courage to you. Apologies for my lack of presence on your websites and FB pages as I have just finished Sunday leading a 7-day “Horse Wisdom” seminar that was very intensive and time-consuming (and went very well too).
Thank you so much Lorraine honey, and you are so right, One of the things people see here is process, real life happening. I can’t just write when everything is okay because that doesn’t serve anyone, and as painful or uncomfortable as it might be for some to read the hard parts what I want is to show a whole woman, a human being, living a life as best she can, every single blessed part of it, the tears, the fears, the joys, all of it. In the end I believe this is my job, and I so appreciate you being here to share the journey with me. And oh sweet kisses to your beautiful horses. I wish I could be there in France with you to kiss them in person and visit your beautiful home. But I am having tea with you in my heart, and we are closer than miles, in that place where spirit is the great equalizer and we are all moving hand in hand through life.
Much love to you honey, you are a truly a kindred spirit…
Maitri
Thank you Maitri for your kind words. Indeed yes it does all of us good to share our hardships and see how we do overcome them. I know that my horses watch over you and your puggies too. <3
Oh Lorraine, the thought of your horses looking over the babies and I gives me such a feeling of comfort. Thank you honey…
I’m so glad the phrase “love is letting go of fear” is resonating with you right now when you need it the most. Thank you for the mindful post. It helped me. Prayers and blessings to you and to all of us in need. http://flossiebentonrogers.com
Thank you so much Flossie, you are very kind and yes the phrase and the book have been an immense help. Blessings to you dearheart and thank you for stopping in…
Love,
Maitri
Maitri I too was given that book back in the 70’s and just the other day was wondering where my copy of it was, think been shared with another. I am going to borrow it and read again from the library. yes we all have the choice to choose love, good path. Hope your call went well, I understand about disability, after my challenge a few years ago I got assistance and was just accepting and it helped.
You are an inspiration
Namaste Love Suzie xx
Thank you so much Suzie, you are so dear. It is a journey, is it not? But I am feeling peace about it, and trusting, and even feeling a kind of soft joy. We do what we must, and continue on. My love and best wishes to you… <3
Maitri