Okay, well, I’m hoping I have the nerve to post this and not take it down 5 seconds after it goes up. What is happening to me is that it will be one year since the fire in 5 days. And I am just now beginning to realize how very much I have changed, in ways I didn’t realize, in the last year. When you almost die, and finally time passes and you start to get your wits about you, you begin to realize in how very many ways you really AREN’T living at all. And then I thought, well, there is still time to make some changes. Grant it being who I am with my assortment of oddities, uncertainties, still-up-in-the-airness in a whole lot of places in my life, that making any kind of significant changes will not be easy, but damn, I’m still here, and I’m going to be, and I have been hiding from life for a long time, and I am never going to be a big goer-outter, but does that mean it would be impossible for anyone to love me? (It’s okay if, in the comments, you kind of lie a little to boost my ego, you know, saying something sort of like, “Why CERTAINLY someone can fall MADLY in love with someone who rarely leaves her house and is nuttier than a fruitcake.”)
And I know, I know, it makes it even harder because it is only a woman I would be with, one who is settled, grounded (Well, SOMEBODY has to be.), loves dogs, birds okay, no cats (I like them but am highly allergic.), am open to other animals who wouldn’t eat my pugs or grey parrot, no kids at home, is not a party animal, loves art, likes long intellectual conversations, gardening (But doesn’t want to go hiking all over God’s green earth.), is a homebody, loves books and good movies, MUST be passionate about coffee (Tea drinking as an addendum is fine but a fabulous espresso/capuccinno/latte in the morning with really good coffee is the only way I can start the day and I really am at a loss with those who don’t want to have a leisurely coffee in the morning but bolt out the door or have tea, or — and I can’t stress this enough — soda instead.), are social or casual drinkers but don’t consider alcohol a lifestyle (I like the occasional glass of wine but am acutely uncomfortable with those who live for 5:00 when they can start drinking for the rest of the night and then yell and throw things at you. That was one very brief nightmare of a relationship that was supposed to be one of those forever, soulmate kind of things wherein I got rid of pretty much everything I owned and moved cross country. Well, we drove there (1 week), I was there one week, and it took just over one week to drive back. I don’t recommend this to ANYONE.)
No internet relationships unless that is only the way you meet but someone coming here to make it real is possible — I don’t really travel except with a gun to my head and highly medicated. Phone relationships that last nearly 5 years but you never meet are now off the table.
Must be kind, compassionate, loving, gentle, affectionate, trustworthy, absolutely only monogamous, spiritual but not bash-you-over-the-head religious, enjoys a healthy life but is not a dietary extremist who lives for going to the gym. Sigh. Loves gourmet fare even if it needs to be enjoyed on a budget. Loves to pamper and be pampered. Loves to love, is fueled by JOY, can experience rapture doing the most mundane things, just because you are alive, and being together makes you MORE alive, and considers the small moments of the day, the simplest things, the most exquisite moments in life.
Loves creature comforts and nice things but is not materialistic. I love upcycled, recycled, 2nd hand, thrift shoppy sorts of things. Don’t go for brand new, ultra modern furnishings. I am shabby chic (In so very many ways) and my 2008 Honda Element is my idea of a dream car.
I’m not sure if I said this in so many words but if there is someone out there who meets all these criteria AND considers pugs the most exquisite dogs ever born and bred since time began I might even move to Outer Mongolia to be with you. Other dogs, however, are fine, except the pug eating kinds.
Absolutely does not smoke or do drugs of any kind (Except for medications for ailments or madness, I take my fair share of the latter.).
Is (or doesn’t mind if I am) absolutely moony and has huge romantic notions about things like holidays and birthdays and such, i.e. decorating and making the house a cozy, twinkly lighted, fairyland, say, for Christmas, but sees the holidays as loving family and friend times and doesn’t go for the commercialized version of things. Must appreciate handmade things, gifts from the heart, or simple gifts. I prefer love with a bow on it, the greatest gift of all.
There is more but I have already, I am quite certain, eliminated any possible candidates in our solar system, so I will stop here.
Oh, must just be crazy about women with full, motherly, cuddly bodies. Women obsessed with skinny women need not apply.
Sincerely,
… who is now running to hide under a pile of pugs…
And why not? Those of us who love you know what an extraordinary woman you are and how much you have to give to the right person. I’m going to send special-partner vibes your way. You deserve the best!
Thank you Cathryn, that makes me kind of giggly all over the place and blushing to beat the band…. 😀
You are a very special, kind, beautiful person. Someone would be so lucky to be with you. I will be praying that you will find a soulmate. Love you <3
Thank you so much Betty, you are so sweet. You made me smile…. 🙂
Hello dear one-
have to tell you that I ponder the same thing many nights as I lie tucked between my dog and my cat with the TV playing long after I’ve stopped listening. I will be 60 in April- love a woman who feels fluffy when I hug her and I also just started doing art and living on social security! There has to be hope…for both of us. Your writing alone is an inspiration and a song.
Thank you so much Pamela honey, I appreciate your kind comment so much. I wish you a life filled with love, and more….
Anything is possible.
Thank you darling Shanon… <3
Yes, possible and likely! There is someone out there who will think you are phenomenal! Stay open to what the universe brings you! Continue sharing your positive vibes!
Thank you so much Nicole, I am smiling from ear to ear and there is a little spring in my step reading your sweet comment. 🙂 Bless you honey.
I can only say that if it was possible for my mother-in-law to meet the love of her life and soulmate at 70 and joyfully enjoy his company for 10 years, it’s certainly possible for you. And also, a 47 year old pretty much soured on relationships can find the love of her life and soulmate and have 20 years together and hope for 20 more — THAT’S ME! then surely it is possible for you. BELIEVE!!!!!
Why shouldn’t it be possible?
You know what you want and stated it, so you gave it the chance to come to you. This was a very brave blog post. I am glad you did not put it down imediately and I will pray for you to find the love you are longing for.
Sending you greetings from snowy Switzerland, Corinna
Maitri, how wonderful for you to create such a detailed wish list. I love it! After all, the first step in finding/receiving what we want is to very clearly state what that is, in as much detail as we can. You are a beautiful soul. Trust that the Universe will somehow bring to you the soul mate you desire.
Big Hugs,
Joan
Also remember
your soul is whole already
beauty to attract
xo
ka
Bless you for being brave enough to post this; most of us have a hard time being this open and vulnerable, but that is the very thing that will draw the right person to you at the right time…anything and everything is possible, and everyone needs someone who cherishes them (I love that word) and I pray you will find each other, sweet lady!
A wise teacher once told me to make a list of all the characteristics I desired in a romantic partner. When I had finished my lengthy list, she said kindly, “Now be those things, yourself.” Of course, I could not be a man, but all the rest, I could aim for.
That’s quite a list you have there, but I’ve no doubt you already are most of those things, yourself. Although if you insist you are not grounded and need a mate who is … well, we have to leave space for our differences, our complementary, mutually balancing traits too, right?!
Sixty is far from old. Just sayin’.
I’m 56 and when it comes to loving relationships, I always in the past have been disappointed by them because often they weren’t loving at all. And this is to be considered normal, apparently. Sigh. I’ve become cynical.
Glad you left that entry up.
I have a saying. # See the person NOT The disability#
Oh Maitri…you offer a beautiful world of loveliness, softness, kindness, romance and tenderness…I love your descriptions of your life and your hopes for a partner. If you can make this very straight woman long to experience what you offer, just imagine how many others who want to partner with another woman will be drawn to you. I have followed you and your writings for years, and have had a “soul crush” on you for most of that time because I came to love your mind and your heart as I read your thoughts you so openly share … please do NOT give up on love, allow it to find you and be open to the possibilities … I remember your story about that disastrous cross-country trip and the disappointment you found at the end, but I have to believe there is another person — probably more than one — who, at this very moment, is searching and longing for all someone like you — wonderfully, lushly, colorfully, sweetly, “wabi-sabi-ly” marvelous just … like … you … are!!!!!