In 2024 I have seen the worst in me and I have seen the best.
I have embraced my brokenness, and the fact that I can still be filled with love and hope, peace and joy.
I drew the above picture weeks ago, it turned out such a mess I got mad and scribbled all over it. Then came Christmas and I let everything go.
During wakeful nights I remembered 2 things. I remembered that when I started drawing and painting in earnest, self-taught, 15 or so years ago, that I promised myself that if I started something I had to see it through. I had to finish it. If it was garbage and no one ever saw it I had to finish it, for me.
Next, I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos on mixed media art which is what I do and I have been fascinated with the artists who did these wild pieces where they may have written something akin to a whole journal entry, then scribbled across the words, and then began painting, and anything might happen along the way, just like life. So after I had scribbled all over her, let some time pass, and then began to find my way through painting, using every kind of medium under the sun, and then painted and drew over some of that, it finally felt “finished.” for whatever that’s worth. Maybe she was finished, maybe I was, but in any case I stopped.
And the amazing thing I felt when I was finally finished and really looked at her was that she was ME. Of course she doesn’t look like me, but she is 70 now, like me, she is broken and disabled with a basketful of mental health diagnoses that I always seem to be wearing, like an albatross around my neck, but she is gentle and kind and loving, reaching her arms and her heart out wide in an effort to embrace the whole world.
To that end I have decided to make this a public post, share it on my blog and on social media, and 1 time each month I will do a public post so people who can only come for free have something to see, and in the hopes I might grow this community during these years when money is really difficult and yet my heart and all my love are in everything I do, and I want to reach out to the world with my wabi sabi art, and words of love, in order to reach as many people as possible. This blog will close by June because I can no longer afford the fees to keep it running. ALL of my work, writing and art will be on Patreon.
Also remember, if you are interested, to join the new Loveletters tier soon. We start in January and there are only 12 slots available. Last time I looked there were already 5 of those places taken. You can read more about it at my page on Patreon.
I hope you all had a lovely holiday season and a beautiful year ahead filled with magic and blessings in abundance. Here’s to the best year of our lives, the best one we can make. I’m going to try my best and if I look broken like the woman above, I think I’m wearing it well, inasmuch as I can.
With so much love…
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