Time to fly

“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you’ll see the way to fly.” Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach

It is a moment in time when everything is changing. A time when what is needed, more than anything, is a shift in perspective. Something happened today that was a lightning bolt out of the blue, an existential wake up call, and in that moment I knew that much of my pain and suffering were coming from a limited perspective tied to concrete, tangible things. What I need most of all are not the things I have been hoping and wishing for and holding so tightly to that I couldn’t see any further than the proverbial tip of my nose. What I need to do is to look to what I already know, deep inside, beneath the surface of the material world.

“For each of them, the most important thing in living was to reach out and touch perfection in that which they most loved to do…” Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach

I have not been considering what it is that I most love to do, I have been focusing, for the most part, on what I am afraid of. What I am afraid to do, what I am afraid will happen, what I am afraid won’t happen. Fear hobbles you, you stumble about on the ground as if with broken wings. You cannot fly if you are afraid.

What if I took this thing, this thing that I love more than anything else, writing, the thing that I have done since I was a young girl, the thing that saved me through a childhood of frightening abuse, that helped me make sense of the life that came after, through the years of therapy when I was trying to heal but also writing, more than anything else, taught me about love, about joy, it was a tool that I could use as a healing balm to help others, it was a lens through which I could more clearly see the world and it’s truths and what really matters. It is time for me to concentrate not on what will happen if I write and publish a book but what will happen if I don’t? There is simply no more time to dawdle around thinking that one day we might do the thing that we long to do. None of us have that kind of time to waste, and even if we have the time we should be filling it with the things that make us soar! I don’t want to live like a plane that is grounded.

Today my heart is so full of so many things, I am in that place where my brain is lodged in the esoteric and the few words that I have written here might not make sense but I’m not trying to make sense right now, I’m just trying to understand where I am and where I’m supposed to go from here. And the only way I can see that will get me where I want to go is to step into my flight suit, zip it up, and get on board the flight to the next phase of my life. Today I was handed a ticket. Liftoff is imminent. I’m ready to fly.