The Experiment – A 365 Day Search For Happiness

It has been one of those eery golden days. You only know these if you have ever lived in a region where devastating weather was on the way, and would arrive in a day or two, but the weather on this particular day was so beautiful it seemed surreal. Such was the day we had today.

I didn’t sleep well last night, I was so afraid. My friend who had promised to come stay with me decided to leave town with her family leaving me alone. Scores of people were begging me to leave town. But despite the fact that a category 4 hurricane was headed straight for Wilmington there were more things to consider than that, things which few people understand and which make the decisions around this time very difficult. I did, however, carefully weigh everything including going through a horrible sleepless night where I finally wrote into Facebook at somewhere between 4 and 5 a.m calling out in tears and agony to anyone who might be there, I was so afraid. Finally, I slept. When I woke up at 7 I knew what I needed to do. I would be staying. Here is what I wrote to my dear Facebook friends today, and scores of dear ones had written to me, people who really took time and love, who cared, who were afraid for me, who wanted me to be okay, some wanting me to leave, others understanding why I couldn’t. I wrote to explain my decision…

“Oh Dear Sweet Friends…

First and foremost I want to thank all of you who have written kind, loving, supportive notes here. I have read most of them and will finish this evening now things have settled down. I am just home from finally being able to get Pugsley’s medication — it was delayed because traffic is already so bad getting out of town it took hours longer to get here than expected but I have it now and I am thanking God. He is 12, has a collapsed trachea, and when he was diagnosed with this condition a year ago June he was so bad the vet didn’t think I would have him another 6 months BUT he has done so remarkably well on the medication you wouldn’t know anything was wrong with him most of the time. However, strange people, animals he doesn’t know, etc. get him worked up, he starts coughing bad, and that could lead to a very bad outcome. I will NOT travel with him, go to a shelter full of strangers and animals, etc. I am staying at home and feel at peace with doing so. He and Delilah are counting on me and I on them. While not in an official capacity they are surely service dogs for me. I cannot be well without them by my side.

I was at the grocery store at 7:30 this morning and bought 15 gallon jugs of spring water. I already had several but I have done what was suggested. I have a small cabinet type freezer in the garage, You pour out, and save, a third of the water and then fill the freezer with the jugs, they freeze solid and keep things cold even if the power goes out for a time. I also have jugs in the refrigerator and freezer in the kitchen and plenty of water for the dogs and I. The tub will be filled to use buckets of water to flush toilets. I have meds for the dogs and I, food, drinks (seltzers, Zevia natural sodas and yes wine!) a whole case of 72 candles and candle holders as well as a large lantern that uses batteries and a good supply of backup batteries. Truly, I have done everything that I could possibly do and more.

This morning when I went out early for water I stopped back along my street and talked to neighbors. Almost without exception they are all staying including a dear 84 year old lady across the street who lived here in her house through Hazel, the worst hurricane on record here in 1954. Neighbors and I have exchanged phone numbers and will check on one another

At 4 am I was so scared. So many are saying YOU MUST LEAVE, and my dear friend I counted on to stay with me, who promised that she would, left. People must do as they see fit but it was a terrible blow. But at 4 am snuggled in my big recliner with my 2 babies, all cozy and safe, with them not afraid, I imagined being in a strange place, around strangers and other animals, sleeping on a hard floor, not knowing what important papers and other things to take. After crying and getting ill I knew that I had to stay at home. I am in a brick ranch house, I am not in a flood zone, neighbors are staying, I have done everything that I can to prepare, we have everything we need here and will be comfortable. For me, this is the best possible solution. I am 64, I have disabilities, I am agoraphobic, I have elderly dogs with health issues, and I can promise you that getting on the road to travel somewhere, or staying in a shelter, would be beyond what my dogs and I can manage. We will be here, at home. I am at peace with this.

I ask for your continued prayers because honestly not only do I believe in the power of prayer but I believe that with your continued prayers, and good thoughts, and love we will make it through. I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. I truly love you all.

May those of you in the path of the hurricane be safe. You are, of course, in my prayers as well.

Love,

Maitri “

And so I did what I needed to do today. I got out and got Pugsley’s medication and the last few things I needed from the store. My daughter came this morning and helped me get everything in off the front porch and the deck in back. Tomorrow the day will start, once again, perhaps looking like a lovely sunny day, but then the weather will start rolling in and by tomorrow night the early intimations of the hurricane to come will be seen and felt. By sometime between Thursday morning and Friday the hurricane is supposed to be here.

Right now it is just before 6:30 p.m. Family and friends have been calling. I am about to take the dogs out to the potty and get them their dinner. We will have a quiet evening. I may draw and paint if I am up to it, or read, or talk to friends. It is the calm before the storm, the weather patterns are closing in. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. For now, I am still here.