What I need tonight is to be quiet. I am not living easily in the land of words. My dear friend Katya with whom I was regularly writing stories asked me if I were ready to write stories again. I told her I was not. I love doing it but I have struggled, since the hurricane, to do much more than get these blog posts up. And then I lost Delilah, and now this current health challenge, and finally I can barely get the blog posts up, and today I’m just not going to make it. I told her I needed to just sit quietly and stitch because I can be quiet with my hands moving meditatively with needle and thread and not have to think. I have been very sad since losing Delilah and very afraid since ending up at the hospital last week and finding out that there is this blood clot to deal with. I need to get out of my head where the scary thoughts are, I need to be quiet.
I am taking the night off. I will work on my embroidery, watch a movie, and relax. Tomorrow I have to go out to therapy. I don’t know how it will feel tomorrow. I am doing my best here. I am trying. But tonight I have to be quiet and rest.
It’s okay to be still. Take care of yourself dear one. I am. I must.
