Just play!

So, I have no idea how Anna ended up with 6 fingers? I was just doodly-dooing about and I kind of went “oopsie” and then burst out laughing and kept going. Stuff happens. It’s not about making “great art.” It’s about having fun, it’s about engaging in a joyful pursuit, it’s about tremendous compassion and kindness for yourself. It’s a middle finger to all those people who told you when you were growing up that you would “never be an artist” because you “drew funny, or terrible, or your efforts were poor and not worth doing.” Yes I said it. Middle fingers everyone!

I am never going to be Georgia O’Keefe and that’s fine by me, but look! I can draw big flowers too! Grant it nobody is going to ever ask me to put Anna’s pictures in a museum but right here, in my studio, with my sleeping pugs snoring beside me, I am just smiling to myself and having fun.

What I want, most of all, is to get all of those people who always wanted to make art but didn’t because they were discouraged or criticized by the people around them or just plain scared to do it to MAKE ART! When I started drawing, finally, after a lifetime of wanting to, in the spring of 2013 at 59, I had no clue what to do or how to begin. I put a circle in the middle of the paper and sat there staring at it for awhile. Then I made my best attempt at eyes which were way big and lopsidedy, then oh Lord forget drawing a nose, I hadn’t a clue so I just kind of did a sort of L shape that was a little nose-ish and a bit curvy, and finally I made lips, kind of fat wonky lips. But here’s the thing, when I got done, well, it sort of looked like somebody or other so I just kept going, well going in as much as I could. I made some crazy hair and I colored it all in. There, look at that, I DID it! I said to myself. I was just tickled all to bits. And I did variations of this for 5 years calling it “The 100 Ladies Project,” and I ended up drawing and painting hundreds of Ladies but they were all variations on a theme, lopsided, wonky, cattywompus heads. I didn’t dare, with few exceptions, try to draw more than the head. And finally, after 5 years, I was “headed out.” They ran their course. I was ready for more.

So I started drawing Anna, and she has a body, and pugs, and a cat. Even a fish. She also, in this painting, ended up with 6 fingers. Well, like I said, it happens, but it doesn’t bother me. I will draw Anna again today and we’ll see what happens.

The thing is that since I’ve started drawing Anna, and talking about my Anna project, SO MANY people have written to me to say “You’re so brave, I wish I could do that…” but I am not brave at all, I just don’t want to die one day with all my dreams still stuck inside me. I wanted to make art and I am, it’s as simple as that. No good or bad, no right or wrong, it just is what it is, it’s what is coming out of me and I love it all to bits just for what it is.

I will repeat what I said a week or so ago. There is no reason you can’t do this. It surely doesn’t take much money, I use a pencil, a child’s watercolor set, and a black pen. And who is going to judge you? Nobody if they’ve got any sense because you’re a grown up now and you can box their ears! And don’t judge what comes up, just do it. And then look at it and say, “Lookie, I DID that!” and clap your hands and celebrate because you are MAKING ART. Now the world is your oyster, no one can stop you or hold you back, and look out! You, too, may one day draw ladies with 6 fingers! Or your own kind of wonderful goofy things, and it will make you happy, happier than you ever dreamed possible.

Don’t wait. Seriously. Start right this minute with whatever you’ve got right there. That’s good enough for now. Just draw something, anything. Now you have begun. Doesn’t that feel good? I’m so proud of you!

Now I’m going to draw Anna again. I’m having the time of my life. There’s no stopping me now.