I am writing this blog post just before a meeting at 6 with someone who may be able to help me. I hope so. She contacted me last night with the most amazing offer, so kind, which would enable me to use the platform I (thought I) wanted to use for my classes. It is a video platform (If you’re shy you don’t have to be on video but it’s a lovely way for people to really get to know one another.) but, oh-my-God I have been working with this platform since this morning, for hours and hours, until finally at 4 p.m. I turned out the lights, got in the big recliner with the dogs, put on my sleep mask to black out the world, and tried to go to sleep. I couldn’t. I’m back up, and I am meeting with my friend at 6. She is amazingly talented in all kinds of ways and technology is her specialty. It is going to take someone like her to help me.

But here’s the thing. After watching 2 hours of recorded video teaching sessions for the platform I kinda got how it works and with my friend’s help and working at it I think I could do that part, but trying to record “the classes” on trial runs nothing worked right. The built in webcam in my desktop pc computer. which oddly never looks bad to me when I am in other places online, video chats, say, looked terribly grainy to me, not good at all. And then the area behind me where I sit leaves much to be desired. I tried getting that right, and did get it a little better when I put my old Logitech external webcam on (It’s from 2012 before the fire, it survived but nothing that went with it did so I spent a lot of time finding software online to download to get it to work. I finally did.) but not only did the quality not seem to improve a lot (No crystal clear video, still kind of grainy) when I try to use it it is as if I am looking off to the side, not “right at you” which I would want to be teaching. By the time I couldn’t get this figured out I was near tears and quit. This was over 6 hours into doing this.

The thing is I do not have the money for expensive equipment and I am not going to use a platform that I am not comfortable and at ease using. This group is going to be a weekly thing, there will be a fair amount of work just putting together the material for each weeks writing group — that’s the part I love — but when it comes to us all meeting and writing together and reading our writing, the real workings of the group itself, the technology has to be seamless, not hard to operate, not clunky, not difficult to grok, or I just won’t be able to manage it. Now I am scared and overwhelmed and I want to run and hide.

Please hold a good thought for me that I can manage this. I meet my friend in 30 minutes. I have to get the dogs fed first and I haven’t had anything all day myself other than half a cup of coffee (It went cold while I was engrossed in videos to learn the platform) and literally less than a handful of black olives this afternoon when I went to look for something to eat and didn’t even have it in me to get anything together.

Now I’m getting teary again, I mean the kind of teary that’s about to erupt into a full-blown ugly cry. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know how to do this. I am on that ledge people go out on and need to be talked down from. Help!

Stay tuned, pray for me, and cross your fingers and toes. Marie Forleo said, “Everything is figureoutable.” but this one’s got me stumped. Oy.

The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda

If you are interested in joining us on Sunday nights please send me an email to: TheSundayNightWritingGroup@gmail.com. I am going to be using a MailChimp list to send out information about the group and I must have your written permission to add you to the list. Simply saying “Add me to the list” and giving me the email address you would like to use is sufficient. For more information about The Sunday Night Writing Group click on the link herein.