Crochet

Honestly, the only thing that I can figure out is that the trauma of the fire, losing so much of my fiber art especially my big freeform crochet pieces — one was a 15 foot long rainbow serpent, I mean I knew how to crochet! — and then not returning to fiber work these past years has done this to me. It is as though I have fiber amnesia. I simply don’t know how to begin. I feel lost. You can look here at just a year’s worth of fiber work from 2010-2011. These images were saved on Facebook, and they are some of my handmade yarns, batts, and other fiber work so you can imagine how perplexing it is for me not to know how to begin at all.

This morning I dug through bins of fiber in the garage and pulled out a single ball of yarn. I also have my big bag of hand-carved crochet hooks made by Noreen Crone-Findlay who made many of my fiber tools. These hooks are magical. They survived as did a whole lot of her magical spool knitters in all shapes and sizes. I am taking the hooks, a little yarn, and a few spool-knitters with me to the Stitch and Bitch group today. I am going. I have to.

But the thing is to have crocheted big, wild, fun crochet works and then be sitting here today with a single ball of yarn, a crochet hook, and looking at beginner’s how-to videos on youtube is a bit disheartening. I am having to learn how to do this again. Yes, I am going to go to this meeting because I really want to meet people, I need to meet people, I want to make friends, but, more, I need to recover my lost fiber life. And I realize something else. Never in my life have I learned how to do patterns in knitting or crochet. I am self-taught and all my work is free form. I want to learn how to do patterns. Easy ones, to be sure. They look like higher math to me. They make me dizzy! But you know what? I have always wanted to learn how to knit socks! Bulky, rainbowy, wild socks. I think it’s time. And while I have knitted lots of shawls they were all freeform, knitting or crocheting by the seat of my pants kind of adventures. I see gorgeous shawls that I would love to knit.

And I just thought of something. If I project into the future and see myself as a very old lady I can think of nothing more comforting than to see myself sitting in my cozy chair with my dogs beside me knitting or crocheting. And I can just see my feet in wild, rainbowy socks in one of my big collection of rainbow colored Crocs (the only shoes I wear!) that I have collected over the years. Yes, Crocs with Socks! I am going to be a bold, rainbowy sort of old lady. I think that is something to aspire to!

And there’s more! As I went through images to use in this post I came up with a few that made me light up like a Christmas tree! And I remembered something, well 2 different things but sort of related in a way, that I always dreamed of doing. One is to crochet wild covers for inanimate objects (See below the bicycles and piano.) and then there is YarnBombing! When wild women take to the streets with their knitting needles or crochet hooks and cover trees, park benches, fire hydrants, cars, even bridges and buildings with colorful yarn. It is considered a kind of street art, “Guerrilla Knitting or Crochet.” I was a rebel in my youth. Perhaps one day I will go out having knitted more than socks! Just imagine!

Today I’m starting with a single ball of yarn and a crochet hook but where it will all lead, who knows? But now, just for a moment, and I know I will become more afraid again as it gets closer to time to leave for the meetup today, I have a twinkle in my eye, and I am seeing a future for myself that is brighter than the one I imagined yesterday when I was so afraid. One day if you see a little old lady with a crochet hook in her hand and a yarn bag slung over her shoulder, look closer. It may just be me. If I get arrested will you bail me out?