This is uncomfortably close to what I look like right about now, and though I would love for you to imagine that I am deep in meditation, so devoted to my practice that nothing fazes me and I just sit like that like some Lady Buddha in a chair I am sadly not in some lofty meditative state. The truth is I have been staying up so late at night writing that I am just about falling asleep in this chair. For a person that has committed to writing about mindfulness for 365 days I’m not off to such a good start if I am working such long hours that I don’t get enough sleep and sleepwalk through my days.
This is just absolutely ridiculous. For me mindfulness is not a spiritual practice so much as a self care necessity and I have not been practicing what I’ve been preaching. Well, I hope I don’t sound preachy but I think you take my point. I have so much work to do that I have been working way too late and the truth is I am not efficiently getting the work done anyway because I’m too tired.
That having been said my plan is to put a short little entry up here tonight, let her sit up there in the chair as kind of a place holder (Maybe tomorrow she’ll actually be meditating and not snoring with the pugs. My what a chorus we make.), and head off now at 11:30. Tomorrow I will return to my normal routine of being off of the computer and shut down absolutely no later than 10. I will get this post done earlier and wait until just before bed to put it up to stay in the same timeframe I have been publishing in. More rest means I can get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time.
I think we constantly have to take stock of where we are or we will get lost in a fog and hours and days go by and we’ve no clue what we’ve done. Tonight I took a step back and looked at the work I was doing and for all that I seem to have been working hard I have been frittering more time away dawdling than I realized. Gracious. I haven’t even been reading at night and I got into a good pattern of being off the computer by 9 and reading. Read several books in a row and then fell off the wagon. I’m going to return to that. The computer will suck your brains right out of your head if you are not careful and I need to try to keep my oddball brains as intact as I can. Heaven’s knows there are too many screws loose up there as it is. This blog is a good place for me to be accountable. And I shall. If I look like that woman at the top tomorrow night somebody better throw a rotten tomato at me.
Living mindfully means you don’t let yourself get in this shape. It doesn’t mean you have to live hyper aware of every single moment but it does mean that some part of you is keeping in touch with your life and checking in with yourself throughout the day. I am going to do just that.
I will see you here tomorrow bright eyed and bushy tailed (Well for heaven’s sakes I needn’t go overboard.). The best thing I could have done was start writing this series because though I may have gone askew and haven’t been taking care of myself as I should have been the very fact that I have committed to writing these posts keeps bringing me back, and that’s the whole point really. We fall away, we pull ourselves back, over and over and over again.
I really want to thank you for being with me and all of you sweet souls who have been leaving such wonderful comments thank you so much, you have kept me going as I started into all of this and it has made a huge difference. Now that I have the ball rolling it will keep on, writing these posts is a practice in and of itself and it does help steady me. It helped me get here tonight and it is helping me get off the computer right now.
If you look like that poor gal in the chair at the top how about you get off the computer now too. Read a book, do something that helps your shift gears and find balance in your life. I am constantly having to find it all over again but at least I am able to do that.
I will see you here tomorrow night. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow. I am sending you so much love and a big warm hug. Nighty-night, from Dragonfly Cottage.