So very much has happened lately. I’ve just had a lovely visit with all of my children and their families for the first time since the holidays 2019 just before Covid began. One of my children lives here with her family but my other 2 live out of town and while we did our best to celebrate holidays and special times via Zoom (Lordy, where would we all have been during the pandemic without Zoom?) to go a year and a half without seeing my children and my 3 little grandchildren and of course my dear children-in-law was just brutal. All of us have suffered losses, distance, and so many hard times, but this seemed hardest of all. And then very recently having had the mishap in the garden leading to the EMT’s having to come and get me up and into the house really shook me badly which I chronicled in the last 2 blog posts about coming to terms with aging, and disability, and the losses that come with that. Well, I am still working on getting past that, feeling more fragile and vulnerable than ever before. And then, something I hadn’t even thought of with so much else going on, a dear friend wrote to me today, referring to this strange new time of just beginning to venture out into the world again as Covid restrictions ease up, as “…a vulnerable, fragile, freakin’ challenging time.” Amen! In the middle of everything this venturing out again is a scary, uncertain time, and it is wearying trying to figure out how to navigate it all. But still, all of these things are part of life and as long as we are alive life just goes on.

So as I have been moving forward I have been giving a great deal of thought about how to proceed from here with my work, my art, writing my book, building my Patreon community, and more as if sitting at a table trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle. I could see all the bits and parts and pieces but have found it somewhat daunting to fit them all together. And then this morning I went through a shelf filled with oracle cards and tarot decks accumulated over the years and pulled an old deck out that I hadn’t looked at in a long time by Esther and Jerry Hicks. I shuffled meditatively asking spirit for guidance, for a message that would help me figure out how to move forward and this is the card I drew ~ “I can make a career of living happily every after.” I was stunned. And then I laughed out loud. Of course! One can sit in the gloom and doom of life or wake up each day determined to do the best they can. Sometimes happiness is something we choose. Of course life will happen as life does and there’s nothing for it at those times but to deal with it as best we can, but for the most part, well, I can’t put it any better than this, and I’ve written about this a few times through the years. My mother died in December 2009 after a 5 year absolutely brutal battle with Multiple Myeloma, a very terrible form of cancer. When she was diagnosed the doctors told her to go home and put her affairs in order because she would have no more than about 3 months to live. That would have been kinder than the slow, painful, increasingly debilitating 5 year journey she ended up on but the amazing thing was how she handled it all.

Though she had gone blind, and the last 2 years of her life had to go to the hospital twice a week for blood and platelets, and was in constant pain, very fragile, and if she barely bumped herself could bleed profusely perhaps ending up in the emergency room, she faced each day with such amazing grace, well, it was something to witness. Every single day until she absolutely couldn’t any more and was in hospice, she, who had been a hospice volunteer for 30 years herself, got up every morning, made her bed and got dressed, and she said, each day, as she told me many times, “Every day’s a good day, it is what you make it.” And by God I don’t think anyone ever made a more valiant effort to do just that. And she was a devout Catholic and led the rosary at church every week. Even when she was blind and could no longer drive and was very frail a dear friend drove her to church so she could continue to do this and she did so until she physically could not any more. How can I not, now that I am 67 and disabled, and can no longer do many things, how can I not say, as she did, when I get up each morning, “Every day’s a good day, it is what you make it.” And some days you may not accomplish what you’d like to, but you do your level best. This is what I am trying to do. I get up and get my little Molly out to the potty, I uncover and sing good morning to my sweet parakeets, Franny and Teddy, I make sure the bird and squirrel feeders on the deck are full, make my coffee, and sit down here at my desk to do what I can. And now, as it is very hot here, I wait until an hour or so before dark to creep about carefully in the garden to do the things it is safe for me to do, and I am weaving together all the threads of my life into a tapestry that is not the one I thought I would some day see but is a beautiful one still. I am making a career out of living happily ever after, as best I can.

And to that end I have come to a decision, or rather am finding my way in new ways of being that, for one thing, have to do with coming to acceptance with what is and doing my best with it, but more to the point I am taking a hard look at the things I am doing and how I am doing them and how I am just not going to continue to do things as I have done because, well, time is fleeting, I am older and more tired, and I am cutting out all the non-essentials that I can. Take Social Media for one thing.

I have thought a lot about this, even thought about leaving Social Media entirely. It is not the same as when I joined Facebook, say, eons ago, and it was a fun, lively place and I made many friends there. Over the years it has changed so much I barely recognize it any more. Algorithms have changed so that your posts don’t get seen, you don’t seem to see the posts of the people you care about and want to see, and it is laden with ads all over the place, not to mention a frightening number of hackers, it has become harder and harder to navigate, but I just kept trying. Eventually I started spending less and less time on Facebook but more and more time on Instagram which I absolutely love. I am a visual person, I love seeing pictures, seeing what artists I admire are up to, I love to see cute animals and beautiful gardens and things I am interested in, but, well, Facebook owns Instagram now, and has for some time, and it too is changing so much, it’s algorithms have become a nightmare, there are more and more ads, less of what I want to see, people are in my feed that I don’t follow or wish to see but somehow they are there anyway, and, well, I just can’t keep up. So again, I thought about quitting social media. But then I thought again.

I am a disabled senior citizen who lives alone. The internet is a godsend to me and seeing family and friend’s feeds and being able to communicate with one another in these mediums is important to me, to my well being, to feel connection and friendship and love. Social media isn’t perfect by any means, there are loads of issues I’m not happy with, but the real problem, I finally realized, was not with social media itself but in my use of it. Because I only live on social security and dearly need extra income I have thought that I had to POST POST POST, BE SEEN BE SEEN, BE SEEN and people would flock to my work and I would find success, but you know what, it doesn’t seem to work that way. I am in my 15th year with this blog, have had well over 2 million visits, have always had a little donation button for anyone who might be interested in supporting my work but rarely has anyone left “a tip” even though they regularly read and many tell me how much they love my blog and how much it means to them. Well of course it’s not their fault, the whole internet has become a place where you get everything for free, and nobody expected to have to pay to read a blog. I understand this. But I work very hard at what I do, it means a lot to me, and now, at this time of life, when I am working hard to produce art, and writing a book, and really need the support I finally decided to start a Patreon account. Those who are interested in my work can join and see things I will not post anywhere else. I blog here once a week and there nearly daily. I share a LOT there, all kinds of things. Pounding the pavement on social media was not bringing me the support that I need, and now I see more and more very successful people quitting social media altogether and saying that they are relieved and it hasn’t hurt their businesses one bit. And it just made me think.

What I have come to is that I am not going to quit Social Media but I am going to use it differently. WHEN I feel like it I will share things that make me happy, that bring me joy, I will show up if and as I feel like it with no intention to try to work it like a business because it simply isn’t, not for me, but there is joy to be had there, and I will not give it up. I have family and friends there and I want to see them. And I may post the silliest, goofiest things in the world if they make me happy. It’s part of my plan to “Make a career of living happily ever after.” I believe, at my age — and for all of us at any age — the realization that life is so much shorter than we ever imagined (Just look at all the loved ones who died during Covid, young people, many people who were way too young to die, and cherished older people…) has been a wake up call. I am not going to spend any more of my life doing things because I feel like I have to (I’m not referring to taking care of my health and those sort of essential things of course), but I am going to do things that feel essential to my well being, my state of happiness, my sense of joy. And I am going to post less and less publicly. I will share my weekly blog posts on social media and little notices about things I am doing once in awhile, while giving more and more to my Patrons at Patreon because those are the people who care enough to actually support me, and I need it, and I appreciate it more than I can say. Living happily ever after comes from doing things that you know are right for you and giving away everything I do on the internet for free isn’t making me happy. Been there, done that, have written that book, and I’m moving on.

And as to my work I have work that I am definitely doing, painting — Patrons will see my art being made, will get free downloads of Maisie’s art, and more — and I am writing the book I have waited my whole life to write and Patrons are going to get a download quarterly as I write the book in 4 parts and then put it all together into a book I will publish on Amazon. And I am thinking up all kinds of wonderful fun things for my Patrons because, if you want to see me, spend time with me, see my work, receive blog posts (Notes From Maitri) nearly every single day that’s where I’ll be. There was a time I felt too shy to be so blunt. There was a time when I was afraid to say it because if I did people stopped following me, but, well, I bless them and wish them well as they leave but it is just part of the flow of life and those who want to receive my offerings will receive them there. Yes, I will share a little on social media, I will remind people that I am at Patreon and what I am doing there occasionally, and if I have art to sell I will share that on social media, but I will mostly just be there goofing off, having fun, and will likely post things that make me laugh out-loud and fill me up with so many joy bubbles I am about to float off, like this one. I swear I keep watching that video over and over and when he says, “Well I SAT up!” (You have to see it!) I burst out laughing and I watch it again and again because it just fills me with glee like a little girl having the best time of her life, and you know what? THAT’s how you live happily ever after.

And I will unashamedly post videos I’ve found and love about dear little animal stories and inspirational people, and I will leave notes for people on Instagram whose art just fills me with awe and because I want to cheer them on, but only if and as I am moved to do so. And even with my work — and anyone who knows me knows that I have goals, and am working toward them, and that I work very hard, and can be counted on to show up and do it — but I am not going to do something I am expected to do each day (Unless I have made an appointment like our Zoom gatherings for Patrons, and the one-on-ones I offer for Patrons only, I am very reliable about those sort of things.) but if I want to get up one morning and write about struggling with old age and disability and how I’m coping, or living with mental illness but somehow keeping on keeping on, or show pictures of my darling Molly or the parakeets or the wildlings outside or my garden or living in an enchanted world or making magic and learning how to make more of it, well, I am going to do what I feel like doing that day, and it will all come to a lot, and I will still reach my goals, but the accumulations of joyful days, days that I survive yet again, days when I reach out to others to help them, or just talk about doing dishes or watering my houseplants, well, that’s exactly what I am going to do! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I feel free! As free as I am every going to be living in this mortal coil. Yes, that is definitely how you make a career of living happily ever after and oh man, I may not have discovered it until I was 67 but I’m damned well going to live and practice it for the rest of my days. (I’ve always thought I would live to 103. I don’t have any idea why. I guess time will tell!)

So dearhearts, I love you all, and I will still be here weekly doing these blog posts and posting them on social media, but for all the rest, well, if you want to join me in living happily ever after come join Patreon. There’s where the magic is, those are the folks that get to see the real magic of Dragonfly Cottage, those are the people who really get to know me. And I’d appreciate the support but I would love to have you there. And my Patreon Community is now open to both gentle women and men, those who are kind, compassionate, and practice loving-kindness as a way of life. I really love every single one of my Patrons and what they are doing for me by being there has changed my life. I hope you’ll join us, and I hope you will consider making a career of living happily every after too. It is possible, not in a fairy tale kind of way (even though there are fairies in abundance in the garden here!) but in a real life, come as you are, do as much as you can, and make every day a good day. It really is what you make it. (Thanks mom, I’ve never forgotten you said that, and I am passing it along as I believe you would like me to do…)