I am surprised that I am only coming into this knowledge and understanding at 67, but then, of course, it is the perfect time for me to step into this next realm, this new area of study, and it will surely affect all of my writing and art.

A little over a week ago we had a “Friday the 13th” and I, like most others, were raised to believe that that was a day that held bad luck and that you must be very cautious. However, on this particular Friday the 13th I came upon several posts on Instagram about how the 13th is good luck indeed for women and originated from the fact that there are 13 moons each year, women have 13 menstrual cycles each year, and even past menopause, when we are no longer bleeding, we still move cyclically through the year with the cycles of the moon. I was astonished. And delighted. And I wanted to know more.

“Once humans realised the connection between the moon’s cycles and women’s cycles, they believed that the number 13 was powerful for women and for society at large. Women and their bodies were seen as closely connected to nature and therefore were seen as powerful at certain points of their cycle.”
The Daily Edge

It was, as if, in gaining this new knowledge, and reading some of the quotes I share with you in this blog post, my mind exploded, I felt joyful, released from something that has been holding me back which has to do with who I am as a Crone in this late stage of my life, still a fertile stage, with much to give, but very different from anything that has come before. And then there was this joyous awakening, a vision of sorts, about something I have been thinking about for a very long time which I believe will change the whole tenor of my life and work.

Imagine this… Of course, we none of us know how long we will live, so I offer this as an example only, but for some reason I have believed, and said, for many years, that I was going to live until I was 103. I have NO idea where that number came from, nor in fact do I believe it in any way to be “the Gospel truth,” but just as a number to go on, for the purposes of this example, IF I live until I am 103, and given that the moon, and women’s bodies, move along each year in cycles of 13, what if our whole lives do? If that were to be the case, and I’m just having a little fun here, if I lived until I was 103 I would be just about in my 8th cycle of 13 for my lifetime! Now, I know this is perhaps nothing short of ludicrous, but, having a little fun with it, instead of feeling like my life is nearly over at 67, that would give me 5 more cycles. And if nothing else, it made me wake up! Something in me came alive! So what if, at 67, I have become increasingly physically debilitated over the last few years, my mind is sharp, I am constantly working every single day, I have gifts, as we all do, and I intend to use them as long as I am here and able. It’s not about whether or not I will really live until 103, it’s about realizing that the cycles of life go on and on, no matter how many years we have on this earth and beyond, that getting older is no reason to give up, it’s a reason to celebrate the fact that we have finally reached the stage where we have grown in wisdom, where we are living more deeply than ever before, and that our job is to live as fully and as deeply as we can while we are alive, because until we aren’t, we have work to do, a life to live, gifts to use and share, and I don’t intend to waste mine.

“If you are in the menopause or post-menopausal phase of life, you are fortunate because you are no longer governed by hormones and can adopt the actual lunar cycle as your monthly cycle as a woman.”
TreeSisters

I have always been fascinated by the moon. I call her Mama Moon, and when she is full over my landscape I go out and reach my arms up to her and feel her embrace. I love the moon. I know she has power. (You’ve only had to work in a hospital to see how many crazy things and frightening occurrences happen and come into the ER on the night of a full moon!) but I’ve never known about the specific moons by name and what it all means. This year I intend to learn.

As I grow older and move more deeply into my crone years, which is a blessing, and a relief, and a wonder, despite physical disabilities and financial limitations, I find myself turning more and more away from the world, and into Nature. My garden, the countless trees that surround my house, the deep woods behind my little cottage heading down to a fast moving creek, more and more wild animals visiting and coming here to shelter and eat, I am changing. If you look out the front of Dragonfly Cottage you see houses across the way, a neighborhood, but if you look out of these windows in my studio that surround 2 sides of this room and open onto the deck overhung with trees, you can easily forget that you live amongst other people. You are a creature of the wild and the woods and there is enormous joy and peace in this, which is why I spend almost my entire life in this room, working, reading and writing and drawing and painting, with my wee Molly girl in my lap or lying on her bed next to me, my parakeets 3 feet away from me, and all day long I watch countless birds of every type come and go at the 5 feeders, and all of the great many squirrels, raccoons, possums and more. And now I become more aware of the moon, in the sky, in my body’s rhythms, even at this age, I see how it affects the younger women in our family all around us, And I feel myself, now more than ever, being pulled into my creative power. It is bliss, it is grace, and it is right on time…

And referring to what this writer calls “The Bloodkeeper,” (Women who no long bleed, who are postmenopausal) she wrote…

“…after menopause, replaced by high amounts of better decision-making and a more balanced approach to relationships and leadership. Because here’s the thing: The infinite _Creation_ power of the Feminine, possibly the most potent energy in the Universe, revs up Her game within you at this time. You’re not done yet because She’s not going anywhere. Your powerful Feminine is your bigger, clearer guide to your ongoing vast _potential_ as she continues moving forward in her no-longer (or never was) reproductive body. This creative power is beyond-measurable fuel!
28 Moons

And suddenly I came back to a poem by Mary Oliver that I always loved, and which seems more than ever something I need to hold close and dear, perhaps something to embroider onto a piece of cloth and pin to my dress in remembrance. Mama Moon and Mary Oliver can guide me on my journey. These words that I will end with are the last bit of her poem, The Journey…

“…It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do —
determined to save
the only life that you could save.”

That’s all I can do, all any of us can do, stay determined to save our own lives inasmuch as we are able to. To try and never stop trying. To give and never stop giving. To live, to love, to be. And so that is my mission now. What could be more important?