Okay, if you are on Patreon you saw the first black and white very quick sketch in my diary the other day when I did the post about how I created my Lifebook/Workbook. This is a very quick, very rough, just jotting ideas down kind of little drawing. It is going to be painted, using a bit of mixed media, on 11 x 15″ paper and it will likely barely resemble what you see here because man do I go crazy with details when I’ve got the space which I didn’t have here. Oh my! And the joy of having glasses again! Now I can really get to work!

And the thing is, and I really have to say this, and yes you know it, that the last several months have literally been the hardest (physically) of my life, and breaking my glasses just nearly did me in, but somehow, having gotten, finally, my new glasses after 5 1/2 weeks, and just in the last week, by some miracle, my leg feels much better — it still hurts, but it’s worlds better — changed my whole view of the world, the world I want to portray. Before I loved what I was doing and I still love that work, but I was trying to make “cute pictures” and now I want to make pictures that go deep and really say something and are the kind of thing that everyone who views them will see/take away something different, what is meaningful to them. Again, what I am about to draw will be much better and greatly expanded, but I think these first messy little attempts at finding my way into what I really want to do are a holy part of the process. I feel very tenderly toward these shy, messy little attempts. Did I dare? Well damned yes I dared and I’m going to keep daring and making big paintings and smaller paintings to sell. It is the work I am dedicated to for 2022. I think the thing is that I’ve always known there would be a book, and there will be, but it is on the back burner for right now because I think the book is going to spring out of the art I’m making. Inotherwords the art is informing the book.

As a little aside what I want to say to you is this. No matter what you are going through — and 6 weeks ago I was in such terrible pain I never imagined getting better, and could barely get around at all, getting out of a chair was nearly impossible, and it scared and upset my out of town children when they saw me in this state over Christmas, and then the ridiculous addition of the broken glasses, well, it was just a dreadful time, but… Well, you see, I never give up. I have been through a lot in my life and what I know is this — short of something cataclysmic, terminal illness, or sudden death, most of us are going to learn to adapt to where we are, and even, as I am now experiencing, perhaps get better than we had dreamed we could, and as we go through it all we will learn many more things than we ever knew were possible, certainly nothing we could forsee, and one day we wake up and our whole life is different. That’s what has happened to me with my art. And…

As you all know a week and a half ago I became a grandmother again for the 5th time, and I adore all of my grandchildren, but something about having this wee girl at this time of my life — I will be 68 April 30 — created some kind of alchemical change in my whole being. I am different now. And how could you not be with a wee tiny bunny sort of girl in the family…

I have always been deeply interested in and enamored of the Grandmothers and their place in many cultures that were holy and sacred. I have long studied Native American ways, a large part of my life was studying Navajo weaving, but the Grandmothers, they held the wisdom of the tribe. And today I believe that all of us who are mothers and grandmothers (and fathers and grandfathers of course) have a responsibility to leave a legacy for not only our own but all the children of the world who will come. One of the things that has moved me deeply in my life is that in Native American culture they don’t just consider themselves and their own family, they consider every act in the way that it will affect 7 generations into the future. I think that this is where I have come to in my life. I cherish my children and grandchildren, I love being a mother and grandmother, but I think my work now in life is to leave a legacy, through my art and writing, that may be helpful for those to come, and for those who will raise them and guide them on their way. 

And so dear friends I have come through the worst of it for now. I will continue to grow older, I will always be disabled and have to cope with things differently than I had imagined I might, but I am cherishing every moment of this life that I have, and I will make the best of it, and to you, my dear Patrons, who are making this possible for me, my undying gratitude and tremendous love are with you always.

And so now I begin to draw the big picture that will be painted. Wish me luck, wave to me from the shore as I sail off into this whole new journey, and I will be excited to hear about where you are and what you are doing along the way. 

God bless and keep us all…