How the pugs travel when the house has to be shown…
It has been 5 days since the house has gone on the market and I think I have just taken my first deep breath. I have been frozen in fear for weeks prior to the house going on the market, and since the sign went up in the yard on Monday. Though the house has not been shown yet I had 2 trial runs with the pugs in the crate for when we have to leave the house when it is shown. They did well, better than me, and now I know that I can do it when the time comes. I went from being terrified about the house being shown to scared because it hasn’t been shown. I worry I won’t be able to keep up with the house so I don’t touch anything that doesn’t need to be touched, I leave the broom out, I am putting off mopping the kitchen floor again until I get a call so it will stay clean and not be marked up with paws everywhere from a bevy of pugs who don’t know or care what’s going on as long as I am near and they get meals and treats, I have frozen down the center core of my body and shaken like a leaf, and then something just occurred to me today. The house is on the market, but life goes on.
Unless and until someone wants to see the house, at which point I pack up the pugs and we go for a ride, life just does go on. We get up in the morning, I get the dogs out and feed them, I take my meds, have my breakfast and my coffee, I check my email, Facebook, and so on, I watch t.v. shows in the evening, I talk to friends and family, I go to the grocery store, to my accountant, to therapy, or wherever else I have to go (At first I was afraid to go anywhere at all, what if someone wants to see the house? Well we have a 24 hour notice clause since I have to make arrangements to be here and get the dogs out, so it doesn’t matter, I will have enough notice.), I order Chinese food (A real splurge born of nerves and self medicating.), I scratch an itch, I write a blog post, work on my book, or on my zine Pastiche. Other than showing the house, which hasn’t even happened yet (Dear God and the saints be praised, have SOMEONE want to see the house, fall in love with it, and buy it at a splendid price. I have buried a statue of St. Joseph upside down in the yard which is supposed to make for a miraculously fast sale.) life, unlike what I had thought would happen which went something like the minute the sign went in the yard my whole life would be frozen in some new ice age called THE HOUSE IS ON THE MARKET, is amazingly pretty much normal, or whatever passes for normal when you are bipolar and live in a house full of pugs.
And even when your house is on the market miracles happen. Just before beginning to write this post my son sent a text message to all the members of our immediate family with a 3-D ultrasound picture of my newest grandson (Our family only produces boys, this will be our 4th grandson!) due the end of May. 3-D! I’d never heard of such a thing until this baby was conceived and it is the most astonishing thing you’ve ever seen. I think he looks like my son, you can see the face that clearly. And I have taken to writing little notes on Facebook each evening regarding some aspect of the house being for sale and how afraid I am and have had tons of friends write in sending support, love, encouragement, and inspiration. I feel like the luckiest woman alive and people who think you can’t make real friends on Facebook have just plain never tried, these are the most beautiful souls on the planet. The house is for sale but miracles abound and friends and family are here supporting me in person and online and I feel loved, cherished, and as though if the power of prayer alone can sell a house I am all set.
The house is on the market and though you couldn’t prove it by the way I have nattered on about it endlessly other things are happening in the world. I have taken more time to read through my feed and respond to other friends on Facebook because I truly believe that when we step up and take time to care about what is happening in the world and to other people we truly rise above our own self-absorbed fears and worries. There are people having babies, people have lost dear pets or loved ones or have people in the family who are ill, or they have sold houses or gotten new jobs or are reaching out to friends for various reasons. Reaching back even just with a line or two of love or support is the healthiest, sanest thing in the world and makes me feel worlds better. The house is up for sale and life goes on, for everyone.
So here I am. The house has been on the market for 5 days. It is Good Friday going into Easter weekend and I don’t know if anyone will want to see the house on a holiday weekend but I trust soon someone will want to see the house and I will pack up the pugs and we will drive around and come back and do whatever one does once their house has actually been shown. My hair and my teeth will not fall out, I may shake a little and I’m sure my bipolar bits and parts will get a tad rattled but we will just keep moving forward, as one does. There are so many elements of this whole thing and I have taken them apart and worried excessively about them all — Will I need a short term rental to be out by closing, I have to buy another house, will I find the perfect one, what about moving, and on and on — but the thing is there’s nothing for it but to do each piece in its turn, one step at a time. People sell houses and live through it. It is nerve-wracking but wracked nerves survive and live to tell about it. And most important of all, this too shall pass. As long as I remember that last bit I will make it, one baby step at a time.
There are millions of things you can still do when the house is on the market. I have done a few of them and will do a few more. I will make it through this, and life goes on…
Very true Maitri, life does go on, even when our house is for sale.
I have been doing more clearing and came across a story I wrote about one of our house sales, our second last home. I reread it before putting it in the recycling box. The funny thing about the sale of that one was something you probably won’t experience because of your 24 hour clause. At the time, I was a working mom of three teenage boys. While the house was for sale I would call home after school to remind them to keep things tidy, which might or might not happen. The evening that we received a call from an agent with an offer, I had not even been aware the house had been shown! Between the time the boys got home from school and I got home from work an agent had brought a couple through. Then they had come back with their whole family. The boys didn’t say anything to me because by that point they were used to people ‘just looking’ and didn’t think anything of it. So, ironically, we got an offer for a showing where I had no control over what state the house was in!
So, who knows? You definitely cannot put your life on hold over this. Just carry on as best you can and allow the process to unfold, trusting that it will all work out.
Joan <3
Oh Joan I love that story! And it is a perfect example of what is supposed to happen is going to happen despite our best efforts in any direction! Thank you so much for sharing it with me, it really lifted my spirits and gave me hope!
Best and love to you angel,
Maitri
So, now you can just concentrate on the actual and factual :0) 24hrs notice of viewing gives you lots of wiggle space and just think you in your pith helment and dogs in bow ties and ribbons will be quite a sight as the expedition makes its way in to forest and glade, cough. Maybe you could begin to consider what you really need in a home, maybe the sunken jacuzzi bath will need to be replaced by your foot spa :0) Seriously I know you will be looking to downsize and look at cost effective housing/living so maybe you could begin to chart the journey towards a new home by considering objects/stuff that will not go with you as they will not fit in your new home and life.
As you know I too am seriously needing to consider a move to much smaller living space and I have found that dedicating a large sketchbook to the ‘transition’ has helped me clarify and refine my ongoing bin bag and give production line.
A trip in to England and on to Lincolnshire will happen early June it seems, to meet the boat builder who is interested in building a narrowboat for me to call my new home. Gathering examples of fixtures and fittings I see working for me in the boat has really helped me look around my home now and begin to really understand how much will need to be gone before I could even occupy the boat shell let alone find bed, stove and loo in situe – yes the important things I have identified I really need are a comfortable. 3ft minimum, bed. a toilet with access to water for cleaning up body and my socks, a chair to sit in comfort, a multifuel stove with oven to heat boat and bake bread in.plus as many shelves/storage spaces as possible.
In fact I realise I need to live, eat, sleep, cook in my studio/library so new home will be that whilst floating along in and through nature.
I can compromise on most things except toilet and bed it seems. Maybe laying out your needs and what you are not going to compromise on will turn any obsessive staring at white tiled floor into considering why a white floor and dos may not be needed in the new home:0)
I am sure your home will sell so use the time well my dear, for your self and your new home.
Love D-W.
Thank you so much darling Daisy-Winifred,
You delight me with stories of your narrowboat and life to come, and inspire me with your sketchbook and plans for downsizing. I am doing two things, downsizing but also having an eye to keeping things that I love because I can always get rid of things but I can’t afford to buy them again. My best friend Jeff has been looking at doublewide/modular homes that are selling used but in very good condition with plenty of space in nice little communities or on lots. Not old fashioned trailer parks but nice little communities with a home with fenced yard and space for a small garden and plenty of space inside. Downsizing is going to continue for me for years I think because it must needs be a very mindful process. And if I can get a home at an inexpensive price in good condition but save most of the money from the sale of my home then I will have income meted out very carefully for the rest of my days or right many of them!
I love your *letters* here — I don’t think of them as *comments* because they truly seem like letters as your recent emails have been and I have read and reread them and cherished them. Thank you for being there and being you. You delight me to pieces. And you are in my heart and good thoughts are coming your way every day.
Best and Love to you dearheart,
Maitri
yes, maitri, life seems to be one challenge after another! and you have survived alot worse! keep writing, keep drinking your lattes, loving your pugs, putting out pastiche, knitting your beautiful creations, and writing your blog. how can you possibly fail???
love and hugs
xo
ka
Thank you so much beautiful Ka, yes, and you have seen me through worse, remember coming home from California?! I shall continue on doing all of the things I must do to live my life for what else is there? Thank you for stopping in dearest. Sending you love and a gentle warm hug…
Maitri
Dear friend…you are walking in faith…you are filled with grace, and the beautiful journey that is your life continues….and I am there on the sidelines, cheering you on! Can you see my Pom poms swishing in delight as we enter our 62 year filled with so many possibilities? ??? (can’t find emoji cheerleader! This is the best I can find!)
Love you Bunches!!
Happy Easter, dear one. ?
Happy Easter to you too dear Donna and thank you for all of your beautiful thoughts and encouragement. It’s nice to have a cheerleader! You look darling with pom poms! 😀 Here’s to 62 being the best year ever!
Love,
Maitri