So, I have no idea how Anna ended up with 6 fingers? I was just doodly-dooing about and I kind of went “oopsie” and then burst out laughing and kept going. Stuff happens. It’s not about making “great art.” It’s about having fun, it’s about engaging in a joyful pursuit, it’s about tremendous compassion and kindness for yourself. It’s a middle finger to all those people who told you when you were growing up that you would “never be an artist” because you “drew funny, or terrible, or your efforts were poor and not worth doing.” Yes I said it. Middle fingers everyone!
I am never going to be Georgia O’Keefe and that’s fine by me, but look! I can draw big flowers too! Grant it nobody is going to ever ask me to put Anna’s pictures in a museum but right here, in my studio, with my sleeping pugs snoring beside me, I am just smiling to myself and having fun.
What I want, most of all, is to get all of those people who always wanted to make art but didn’t because they were discouraged or criticized by the people around them or just plain scared to do it to MAKE ART! When I started drawing, finally, after a lifetime of wanting to, in the spring of 2013 at 59, I had no clue what to do or how to begin. I put a circle in the middle of the paper and sat there staring at it for awhile. Then I made my best attempt at eyes which were way big and lopsidedy, then oh Lord forget drawing a nose, I hadn’t a clue so I just kind of did a sort of L shape that was a little nose-ish and a bit curvy, and finally I made lips, kind of fat wonky lips. But here’s the thing, when I got done, well, it sort of looked like somebody or other so I just kept going, well going in as much as I could. I made some crazy hair and I colored it all in. There, look at that, I DID it! I said to myself. I was just tickled all to bits. And I did variations of this for 5 years calling it “The 100 Ladies Project,” and I ended up drawing and painting hundreds of Ladies but they were all variations on a theme, lopsided, wonky, cattywompus heads. I didn’t dare, with few exceptions, try to draw more than the head. And finally, after 5 years, I was “headed out.” They ran their course. I was ready for more.
So I started drawing Anna, and she has a body, and pugs, and a cat. Even a fish. She also, in this painting, ended up with 6 fingers. Well, like I said, it happens, but it doesn’t bother me. I will draw Anna again today and we’ll see what happens.
The thing is that since I’ve started drawing Anna, and talking about my Anna project, SO MANY people have written to me to say “You’re so brave, I wish I could do that…” but I am not brave at all, I just don’t want to die one day with all my dreams still stuck inside me. I wanted to make art and I am, it’s as simple as that. No good or bad, no right or wrong, it just is what it is, it’s what is coming out of me and I love it all to bits just for what it is.
I will repeat what I said a week or so ago. There is no reason you can’t do this. It surely doesn’t take much money, I use a pencil, a child’s watercolor set, and a black pen. And who is going to judge you? Nobody if they’ve got any sense because you’re a grown up now and you can box their ears! And don’t judge what comes up, just do it. And then look at it and say, “Lookie, I DID that!” and clap your hands and celebrate because you are MAKING ART. Now the world is your oyster, no one can stop you or hold you back, and look out! You, too, may one day draw ladies with 6 fingers! Or your own kind of wonderful goofy things, and it will make you happy, happier than you ever dreamed possible.
Don’t wait. Seriously. Start right this minute with whatever you’ve got right there. That’s good enough for now. Just draw something, anything. Now you have begun. Doesn’t that feel good? I’m so proud of you!
Now I’m going to draw Anna again. I’m having the time of my life. There’s no stopping me now.
The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda
Maitri, it took me forever to get back to art a few years back, mainly by signing up for classes, and doing pieces in class, but I haven’t done any drawing or watercolor on my own for a LONG time. The judgement over what I produce is fierce! You’re inspiring me to give it a try when I get back home. My hands were a problem for awhile, but they’re OK now — that is, as far as drawing and watercolor goes….
Oh Lisa, I wish you would, in fact, why wait? 😀
I bet somewhere very close to where you are you can buy an inexpensive little kid’s watercolor set and you’ve surely got a pencil or a pen. My message is this, don’t wait! Stop waiting for things to be just right, to have the perfect conditions or the perfect tools. DO IT NOW!
That’s what I’d do anyway! Have fun!
Well, I definitely have a notebook and a pencil, and there are LOTS of paper/art supply places here, lots more than at home, and they’re full of lovely nice colored pencils and pens…. I shall snag some pencils or markers tomorrow…Thanks for the encouragement.
Oh good Lisa! I am just DELIGHTED to read this! I hope you will share with me, privately is fine, what you’re doing. I would like to be able to encourage and support you because I believe in you so much.
You GO girl, and I love you dearly… 🙂
aw, i love anna and her fabulous magnifying red glasses, her tradebook (your trademark). she is a sleuth of her own soul — she loves flowers, pugs, books, cats, coffee, knitting,
there’s no stopping anna from rejoicing in her own quirky life! you birthed her, she is your “avatar” and there’s more to come, wow, we all are following this journey with big smiles on our faces. and remember folks, poetry is art too!!!
P leasure
O f word play
E cstasy beckoning
T ry your hand at it
R emember
Y ou have a gift to give us
And you can do acrostics with colored pencils and adorn your poems too!
xo
ka
Thank you darling Ka, and yes! Let’s play! Drawing and painting and poetry and stories and more! Some of us stopped playing when we were kids and that’s such a shame. I think playing, making art and all the rest keeps us young, I think it will make us live longer! And I love your acrostics. What fun your students are going to have with you this fall! I’d love to take your class but I’ll tell you what, I don’t care for colored pencils, they’re not vivid and bright enough for me. Others may feel that way too. You might give them choice of bringing markers or whatever delights them to draw with. Just a thought! 🙂
Hugs,
M. xoxox
Love this, Katya — I’m being inspired by the colors in Maitri’s drawings, too. I’ve been a natural colors, watercolors, etc. sort of person my entire life. Hmm.
🙂
red glasses, her trademark, not tradebook but who knows it might be a book!
xo
ka
Trademark, tradebook, whatever! It all sounds fine to me! 😀
I’ve just caught up with the last three days of your blog and am in a haze of wonder. While I have always danced with depression, I have not had to deal with a dance partner as insistent as yours. And yet you paint, write, rescue pugs and birds, and reach out and embrace all the heartsick, ill, and joyously happy people who are drawn to your writing. That is more than amazing. It is a gift to the world. Thank you, dear Maitri.
Thank you so much dear Cathryn, you are so kind. Yes, it is an insistent partner, this mental health ball of diagnoses that is continually moving through my life, but as this is, as poet Mary Oliver put it, my one wild and precious life, I have to hold on tight and do the best that I can. And I try. I stumble and fall and have to keep course correcting as I wrote about yesterday but I will never stop trying. Thank you so much for being here, for reading, and for sharing your thoughts with me. It means more than you could possibly know. I love you dear Cathryn…
Yay!!!!
😀
I never noticed Anna had six fingers! That makes her a descendant of Mary Queen of Scots. I read in Anya Seton’s Devil’s Water that Stuart descendants sometimes had six fingers. It’s an interesting read aaaand Ms Seton researched her facts, which I enjoy almost as much as the story.
Gracious Marge Anna descended from royalty! Who knew! Ha, that tickled me. Thanks for letting me know! 😀