The Experiment: Day 89 ~ A Slow, Sweet, Quiet Night After A Busy Day Out…

It has been the kind of day that was filled with things that had to be done in the outside world — therapy, going the the vet’s office to pick up Pugsley Pug’s written prescription and to the pharmacy to get it filled, grocery shopping, post office, and a personal errand. I left at 1:30 and didn’t get home until 6:30 by which time the pugs were just about doing backflips they were so excited that I was home! I got them out to the potty, fed them their dinner, put groceries away and when I finally sat here in my comfy desk chair my whole body just kind of sagged. It was a good kind of sag, you know, the kind where you are so tired from doing so much but deeply happy because you got so much done that needed doing. It took me an hour and a half of just sitting here looking up the most random things on the internet because that’s the best my brain could do before I could even get up and make my dinner.

I’m telling you I looked up everything from the health benefits of salmon (what I eventually had for dinner), to why they stopped making Honda Elements. (I will never understand this as long as I live. I adore mine, I intend to drive it until I can drive no more, (Seriously, I got it New Year’s Eve 2009 and now, 8 years later, it has a little over 14,000 miles on it and my daughter put over 1000  of those miles on it! Long story, not important! I just don’t go many places.). And then — and I mean what got into me I haven’t a clue, well, it’s probably because I mailed my ancestry.com kit back in today so my DNA will be tested. (They say it takes 6-8 weeks or longer during busy times and since I got my kit during a holiday sale I’m not expecting to see these results anytime soon!). But when I did find my biological mother when I was 26 I got a big folder full of information. I was devastated to have lost it in the fire but I did remember some things, my mother’s name of course, and her parents, my biological grandparents. I figured they were long gone. Imagine my shock when I looked them up tonight AND THEY ARE BOTH STILL ALIVE! And HE is 106! She is 99! I nearly fainted dead away. They didn’t want to meet me or have anything to do with me and I have always honored that and never tried to contact them and I’m surely not going to at this late day but I am utterly shocked that they are still alive. As far as I have been able to discover so is my biological mother who would be 83. Well, at least I know I come from long-lived people! I may be driving that Honda Element for a very long time!

This is all SO random, I know. I mean it’s one of those nights when you’ve had a very busy day and your whole body just sinks into your special chair and you can’t move. And then your mind starts rambling around in all different directions. By the time I realized my grandparents were still alive I was in such shock I didn’t know what to do with myself so I got up at 8:30 and heated up my dinner. Salmon with butter and fresh lemon juice. I could only eat half of it but that’s enough. Now I’m just sitting here kind of chuckling because all of a sudden I feel really young at 63! And somewhere, of course, as I’ve written before, I have 6 half brothers. I was my mother’s first child and only girl. She gave me up for adoption and within a year had married and had another baby. And went on having babies, those 6 boys. She told me their names and I remember a couple of them but all of that is lost now. The fire just took so much damned stuff. It makes me really anxious what ancestry.com will turn up. Right now I’m too tired to do anything but mildly wonder. I mean it’s going to be at least 2 months before I get any results so I’m just setting it on a back burner and going on with my life. There’s time to get excited (or not?) when the results come.

Geez Louise I am just rambling! If you’re still with me you’re probably nodding off. This is no earth shaking post, just, well, like I’ve sort of wandered into your living room and plopped down and just started talking, telling you about my day. It just happens I suppose. But the wonderful thing is that I am so peaceful and calm I am just in a kind of drifting, dreamy place. I think it will be a good night to curl up with the pugs and watch something on Netflix or Amazon. I’ve watched a couple of Christmas movies and my daughter Rachel is coming over to watch one tomorrow night so I will probably watch some documentaries. I have a number of them in my queue. Last night I watched a really good one on the life of Van Gogh. Documentaries are my favorite thing to watch. The other night I watched one that just had me mesmerized, free on amazon streaming. It was called See: An Art Road Trip and was just so beautifully done. I love documentaries on artist’s lives, I’m wild about outsider artists especially or those who live and work outside the box. These things fascinate me. So yes, I think the pugs and I will curl up in our chair and watch a documentary or two. I don’t think I’m good for much else this evening!

I hope you have had a good day. I hope you just feel good and peaceful in your body tonight as I do. Even if you kind of ache or creak a little you can just kind of hunker down and smile because you just feel so at peace. That’s me tonight, how about you? I’d love to hear from you. Leave me a note in the comments below. I’ll read them over coffee in the morning and answer you. I’m going to get offline now. Time to herd the pugs into the cozy room and curl up. Oh yes, that’s just what I’ll do, and it will feel so good.

Night lovebugs…

 


The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: 
Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda


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Comments

  1. Another beautiful post and I love when it kind of rambles on and I hear about your thoughts and your day. Better than mine for sure I have been spending way to much time alone and with my sweet Sadie May gone the days and evening are just not the same. I had thought about going up to the cabin in the mountains but then it would be the first time without Sadie with me and I just did not have the comfort of having her along so decided not to do so. My daughter wants me to come to her home for Christmas dinner on the 24th as she is having it then as she has to work on the 26th and does not want the mess on the 25th. At this moment I do not plan to go I just don’t want to make the drive and who know’s how the traffic will be. It’s an hour and a half drive from Napa Wine Country to San Jose but that can be three or more hours if traffic. I have concluded December, is not a good month for me for many, many reasons. Happy that you had a very productive day and are at peace……Hugs..JIM

    • Oh Jim it makes me so sad thinking of you without Sadie May, you have had so many losses and I wish we lived close enough that you could celebrate with us. We never like to see anyone alone for the holidays. I hope you find something special to do for yourself. We should talk that day! I don’t go to my daughter’s until later in the afternoon. How would that be? It would at least be a little time spent with a friend? And thank you so much for your kind words about my rambly post! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I was just in a real headspace last night, so tired, and couldn’t make sense of things. I went to sleep an hour earlier than usual and got up later than usual this morning. I’m having my coffee now and moving like a snail into my day. I am sending you love and a big hug honey. Blessings to you dearheart…

  2. Having a slow, rambling evening sounds just lovely Maitri. Although I definitely do not overdo it for Christmas, I probably won’t really relax until after Boxing Day. Only then will everyone have opened their presents and all the holiday food preparation (which I love to do, but which really occupies my mind) be done. Then I think the rest of next week will be mostly lazy and relaxing for me.

    If you ever have the chance to see the movie Loving Vincent, about Vincent Van Gogh, I highly recommend it. It’s beautifully done!

    • Ah Joan, I so know how you feel. I can’t wait for my out of town kids and their families to get in for Christmas, and it is always so good to see them, and we have such a lovely time, and when everyone leaves I feel really sad because it will be months before I see them again, but then, a kind of quiet creeps in, a quiet we have not known for weeks, and there is a sense of ease and gentleness to it, and life goes on. I always do better on the regular days, the out-of-the-ordinary days kind of have me off balance a little.

      And oh I so want to see Loving Vincent. It was here very briefly at the art cinema but I couldn’t go and it was gone quickly. I will have to wait until it’s on Netflix or amazon. I hear it’s just wonderful, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Merry Christmas honey… 🙂

  3. I love reading your posts Maitri and they are not rambling to me. Everything you write is interesting.
    I love that feeling when I come home and can just sit in the chair and relax. It feels so good unless I am too tired.
    Love, Jean

    • Ah darling Jean you are so kind! I’m glad I didn’t seem to be rambling! 😀

      And yes, that exquisite moment when, after a long, busy day, you sink down into your comfy chair! Bliss!

      May you have many blissful moments, both now and in the coming year…

      Maitri

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