The Experiment: Day 82 ~ And Sometimes There Will Be Holiday Slumps…

These days will come, holidays or no. And even though it is a festive, joyous time of the year with warmth and love in so many places a day can catch you off guard, or memories of Christmases past, or things that take us by surprise, and hurt us. And, too, despite the season, a heart can break a little, things we thought we knew to be true, are not, things change. We can feel like the little ornament that fell off the tree and rolled into the corner and no one noticed that we were even gone. Sometimes people go on with their lives while we stay frozen to the spot, afraid, and sad, and lost. Sometimes any or all of these things might be true. What to do on such a day?

I’m doing the simple little things that I can. Cancelling things that I no longer need, cleaning out my e-mail box, realizing it’s time to say goodbye to some things and let go. Leaving groups I was a part of, and considering leaving others. Making room for new things in my life. And in the midst of it all something curious is happening. The last vestiges of old beliefs that have held me captive are also falling away, and I am looking at who I really am, what I really want for my life, and trying to figure out the best ways to go about making these changes. Perhaps this is a pre-New Year kind of feeling. The last 2 or 3 weeks of the year when we look back over all that was and decide what we will carry forward into the new year. In a way this time of year is about beginnings and endings. Christmas is the birth of a new babe, a time for new and beautiful things coming into our lives, while at the same time we are closing out a year and saying goodbye to people, places, and things that are no longer a part of our lives. In some ways it can be the end of an era. Perhaps this time of the year is a time of inviting new things in while we let go of others. One can’t help but feel melancholy at this time of the year. I am feeling a little broken-hearted today. I think we can almost expect those feelings to come at some time during the holidays, and I think we have to accept it all, the sorrow and the joy, ushering in the new while saying a final goodbye to things that are passing. Life is not one or the other, life holds it all. I am feeling that deeply just now. It makes me cry a little.

What do you do on the days when sadness creeps in, when you are aware of losses even while your heart lifts a little with thoughts of new things to come? I’d really like to know. I hope you will share your thoughts in the comments below. I think it would help me so much.

Thank you so much dear one, this too shall pass, tomorrow is another day…


The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”

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  1. I am with you and you used the right word, I am feeling melancholy for sure and try as I do I sometimes just can’t shake it all off. I am not feeling sorry for me, but just sad that my expectations are not what I thought they would be for this time of year. I spent so many years during this time of year when I was in the Toy Business for 30 years making everyone else happy and often wondered what was all of this about. I no longe run around shopping and trying to get everyone I know something for Christmas as this is really not what it is all about. I keep thinking this to will pass….or at least I hope it does.

    • Oh Jim honey I’m so sorry, the holidays can be so lovely and they can also be so hard. You’ve had terrible hard losses very recently and I can surely understand how it will make this time difficult to bear. I have had a very hard day today but I know that this, as will all things pass. I am so glad you wrote in here dearheart, and I will hold you very close in my heart and prayers. I love you Jim. We shall surely have to talk over the holidays. May peace be in your heart honey…

  2. Well, when I feel melancholy during this season because of family members who are now gone, or rifts that have occurred in relationships, I allow myself to wallow for a bit in the sadness. Then, I try to remember what the gift of those situations or relationships was. This of course is more difficult to do when wounds are raw. But, eventually I am able to recognize what I was gifted or learned and in what way it may have shifted the course of my life for the better.

    • Oh Joan that is absolutely lovely and so helpful. Things are happening in our family right now that are sad and hard, especially being the holiday season, and then I start reflecting on Christmases past and all of the people who are now long gone, and then I think back to the fun Christmases when my kids were little and how could they have grown up so fast, and then you get all melancholy and kind of vulnerable and when something unexpected hits you it’s a harder hit because of the soft place you are in. I love what you said about allowing yourself to wallow for a bit and then remembering the gifts. That is so huge. You are wise my dear friend. Thanks for sharing with me here, it really meant a lot to me…

  3. Firstly, Maitri, I hope you feel more joyfilled again soon.
    For me, Christmas is always a bit bitter and sweet. Times past, loved ones gone can bring a tear as well as a smile. This year I’m learning to ‘Allow’. I’m learning to allow the tear to fall and the smile to come. To allow the sadness to pass through me, at its own speed-neither rushing or denying it. I don’t find it easy to do but I’m trying and that, at the end of the day, is really all I can do.

    • Oh Moira! How utterly fabulous. And it hit me — because I try to think of a special word for the new year — what a perfect word “Allow” would be to carry in the coming year. “Allow the tear to fall and the smile to come.” Yes. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I will carry it my heart and try my best to remember it as I go through the days ahead. This is a gift you have given me and I appreciate it more than I can say. Allow. Yes… 🙂

  4. “Allow the tear to fall and the smile to come.” – Moira, these are the words I were at a loss of. I just want to do this for Christmas this year.
    Last year was so busy before the holidays with my mother’s funeral and everything that followed. On Christmas Eve I attended all 4 services, was overwhelmed with too many people, too many impressions, fainted and was completely exhausted.
    This year I hope to just sit peaceful and quiet with my dog, have some yummy food and enjoy my decorated home.
    Everybody: have a joyful time AND room for your personal melancholic moments.

    • Oh Silke, that was a hard Christmas for you. I hope this will be a gentle, enjoyable one instead x

    • Oh Silke honey, I’m so sorry, that is so hard, I’m so sorry your time last year was so hard and full of sorrow. I think a sweet Christmas with your beloved dog and a nice meal will be lovely, and I will be holding you very close in my heart. And we will have to use Moira’s word, Allow, and let things be as they are knowing that we are okay inside ourselves. I hope you both have a lovely and gentle Christmas.

      With love,


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