The Experiment: Day 68 ~ Change Does Not Happen In A Straight Line, Mental Health, Keto & More…

This morning I was answering people who had written in after the last post. In answering my dear friend Margaretha I wrote, “Yes, there is new life coming, I can feel it. It’s slow, but then, at my age, I need slow to be able to adapt along the way. This morning I was a little afraid when I got up but I just kept doing “the next right thing” and I got myself going and am now here at my desk with my coffee and another day has begun. No diving seamlessly into the days, we are human after all, but just to be able to get going and start the day and carry on, well, that’s a good thing.” And so it was. This is huge, really, allowing ourselves time and space to adapt to the changes along the way, especially when a lot of change is happening. For example, I have learned something really important on the ketogenic diet, and it’s been hard for me, but I’m beginning to get it.

To be clear, the ketogenic diet is NOT a weight loss diet, it is a diet that changes your body from a carb burning machine (You are always hungry and wanting more carbs or sugar) to a fat burning machine (Miraculously all of a sudden you are just not hungry. I actually have to make myself eat.). Your body turns to using the fat in your own body for fuel, it is called “Fat Adapted” when your body is burning ketones, from fat, for fuel. To get into ketosis you must eliminate a lot of foods like sugar, refined carbs, grains, even sugary fruits and some vegetables. But the thing is that you can be in ketosis and be doing wonderful things for your body and health but not be losing weight. To lose weight you first of all have to be very careful what and how much you eat and never eat when not hungry, and you must eat only 20 grams of carbs or less a day. Do you know how many carbs are in broccoli for example? More than you think! So you have to track this very carefully in order to lose weight, and weight loss does not happen in a straight line. This has made me crazy.

I knew that when I lost 12 pounds the first week that that was unusual and because of all the water your body sheds when you first go on keto, the 2nd week was slower, but after 3 weeks I had lost over 17 pounds, and then, over a 4 day period, I inched up 4 pounds higher, and I was eating perfect keto, and actually very little food. I was just going crazy because I have a lot of weight to lose and it’s one thing if it comes off slowly but to GAIN weight when I’m doing everything right, well, that was too much. But then my weight started dropping again and I was down 25 pounds. I was thrilled, and then the end of last week I inched up again, another 4 pounds over a few days, for no apparent reason. Today I am down 21 pounds and I wanted to throw the scale out the window. What is saving me is following Casey Durango, her website, her youtube videos, and her Patreon page — she does a video for us every morning, has a Livestream on Friday, and more — and she has talked over and over again about not getting obsessed about a number on a scale, that your body can fluctuate 3 or 4 pounds in either direction, it could be water retention, it could be a lot of things. When you switch to the ketogenic diet and eliminate all the non keto foods your body doesn’t just change to fat adapted it starts healing everything inside your body in amazing ways. In a very short time people come off diabetes medications, they are able to stop many other medications including blood pressure medicine. Everything in your body is shifting, changing, healing, you are getting better and better each day even if your weight doesn’t plummet as fast as you’d like. Some people lose weight far more quickly than others. Some people lose 100 pounds in a year or less, it took Casey almost 4 years to lose 100 pounds but her health was changing in amazing ways all along the way. My body is finding it’s way, I feel so much better physically, mentally, and emotionally, so much better it’s almost hard to comprehend. And I’ve lost 21 pounds, and I know I will start dropping weight again because this is now the 2nd time this has happened to me. I just have to be patient, do the right things everyday, and watch miracles happen with my health, and they are.

All this by way of saying that change does not happen in a straight line, we are up and down, but somewhere in there steadily moving forward. And that’s with everything in your life that you are changing, not just a change in dietary lifestyle, but in your life in general. I used to wake up so terrified I was frozen and it took all that I had in me to just feed the dogs. And then I would hunker down in my chair and it could be hours before I could move again and I was depressed, and afraid, and anxious the whole time. Not any more. I am learning to trust the process. Just like my weight will go up a little and back down as it stabilizes my mental/emotional state needs to stabilize too. I will have many days, or weeks, where I get up feeling pretty good, excited to start the day. I hadn’t had those in so many years I couldn’t remember when I had. Things were very dark for a long time. But then things started changing, doing this blog, changing to keto, making other changes in my life, and things kept getting better and better, until they didn’t. I had a couple of hard days, harder than I even wrote about here, yesterday was a little better, and then today I woke up afraid, not as afraid as I’d been in previous days, and I was able to stay steady, stay the course, and pull myself out of it. That’s progress, like starting to lose weight again after gaining and stalling at the higher weight. Things fluctuate and the thing we have to remember is to trust the process because the overall pattern is good and the little ups and downs along the way are every bit as much of the journey as losing weight or waking up ready to face the world again. One step at a time, one day at a time, don’t lose faith when things fluctuate, just keep on keeping on.

This is my journey now, to do the things that I know are right for me whether it is working on having a positive attitude and recording my year long journey here, or following the ketogenic diet, and really, it’s not a “diet,” it’s a lifestyle and lifestyle changes this big take time, or healing my brain from life-long struggles with mental illness. The brain can heal too, there’s research to prove it, but like with losing weight it doesn’t happen overnight, it will take time, there will be steps forward and steps back, just keep the faith, hold on, and you will move forward again in all areas. I know this to be true, I see it more and more each day.

I send you my love and blessings, whatever the path is that you are on. Let’s share our journeys along the way, and feel free to ask me questions. I’m here for you. Talk to me…


The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”

If you enjoy this blog a donation would be deeply appreciated to help me continue to bring “Maitri’s Heart” to you. Thank you, and many deep blessings to one and all…


  1. Yes, it is all a process. These are very good reminders! My weight has fluctuated like that too but the overall trend is downward. I also need to remember that at my age of 63 it takes my body longer to fully adapt to the keto lifestye and to heal all that needs healing for my cells to work more efficiently. I was disappointed today that my new keto strips showed I am only in a low level of ketosis. I just need to stay the course and that will change too. Life is not just about measurements. It is about living our best selves, whatever that is on any given day.

    Hang in there!

    • Joan,

      You are exactly right honey, it is all a process and it is about living our best selves, every day, as best we can. And you know being in a group and forum with a lot of people who have been on the ketogenic diet for a long time and lost a lot of weight they may never get the higher, darker markers on the ketosis strip but they are steadily IN ketosis which is all that matters. Another thing is — and I don’t know when you tested — Casey says not to check first thing in the morning when your bladder is so full because it will dilute the ketones. Later is better. I actually check last thing at night when I go in to do my teeth and go potty before bed and mine has gone, over 3 weeks, from the darker pink to the darkest purple. Time of day can matter. Just fyi!

      You hang in too! I love having a keto buddy here! 😀

  2. You are so right, Maitri. I find myself going through ups and downs. I know when I allow myself to obsess about things I can’t control it goes south. One day at a time.💖👍

    • That’s right honey, and in the end all we have is one day at a time anyway! One MOMENT at a time. And if we take it slowly, don’t expect BIG changes overnight, and are very gentle with ourselves, we will always make it through.

      Best and love to you dearheart…

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