The Experiment: Day 40 ~ What Happens When You Decide To Live Again?

Forty days into this 365 day experiment and my life is changing so much I have to just sit down and take a deep breath and take it all in. The daily writing here, seeking happiness and joy, has let so much more light into my life that I can finally see a path leading into the rest of my life with such eagerness, well, I never thought I would feel like this, ever. And I have to tell you right now that the ketogenic diet is a big, BIG part of that and I know a lot of you may not be interested in reading about the ketogenic diet but as things open up inside me like the thousand petals of the lotus I am moved to share more and more about it.

In my life I have hated nothing more than somebody who got on some diet or other proselytizing like they just got religion. I hate that. And that is not what I’m going to be doing, but I can’t help but share my own journey because oh my God, so much has changed so fast in three weeks on the ketogenic diet I just cannot believe it. And it’s not about the foods you eat or don’t eat, it’s the sense of wellness I feel, of feeling lighter, clearer, freer and having lost nearly 17 pounds in just under 3 weeks helps! But mainly, it has made me want to live again. It changes you in ways you cannot imagine. I could no more put a piece of candy in mouth today, Halloween, than I could rocks! It is abhorrent to me. I don’t want anything sweet with the exception of a tiny bit of something sweet in my coffee and this morning I tried my final product in the quest for a sweetened cup of coffee — It is a sugar replacement made of monk fruit and erythritol from a company called Lakanto and I mean to tell you, for the first time in weeks, since quitting sugar, I finally SANG like Maria in The Sound of Music when I had my first sip of coffee! — I don’t want any wine, in fact my biggest problem is making myself eat at all. I am so satiated, comfortable, and at peace on this diet I can absolutely tell you in no uncertain terms that I will never go back to my former way of eating, go back to what? Eating foods that could give me diabetes, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure and a host of other ailments, and the reason I went on this diet — I hate the word diet, it’s really about a way of life — for my mental health, well, that’s working! I am feeling so much better, better than the meds alone were doing. I want to live, and I can honestly say that I haven’t felt this kind of zest for life in any other way in my whole life.

I had long wished for a magic potion or pill to help me lose the weight. I found it. It’s the ketogenic diet and it is magic, and it is thrilling. And when you are at the crossroads and you have to choose between two paths before you don’t see it as going down one way where you have to give up foods you have loved and eaten for a lifetime and the other path is eating as you always have but being overweight, perhaps being in pain, sick, on the verge of major illness, or with a major illness. To me, those are the choices. Those 2 paths represent life or death. It was the exact right time for me to change my trajectory. I choose life. There is no turning back. This is the most amazing thing that has happened to me, ever!

And the thing is, it’s like my therapist Helene said to me a couple of weeks ago. She said that of course none of us know ultimately how long we will be on this earth. Our death will come when it comes, but, if we take care of ourselves and do everything we can to heal ourselves and do good things for ourselves we will be healthier, happier, and live longer, more fulfilling lives. We may not be able to determine our end, but we see that we have the best quality of life possible. That’s what I’m doing, with the blog, with keto, with everything I am doing today.

One of the the things I’ve done, which I’ve never done before, is become a Patron on Patreon for someone I have absolutely fallen in love with, and she is my mentor, coach, and guide for the journey. Her name is Casey Durang0 and you can click on her name to go to her website, or go to her youtube channel and see well over 100 videos on the ketogenic diet and way of life. She is 58 and has lost just short of 100 pounds, but after watching so many youtube videos on the ketogenic diet that I lost count (and kind of lost hope too, most are poorly done, cheesey, some have bad advice, or are so extreme I just get scared watching them) I found Casey a week ago and I haven’t stopped watching them, I watch them night and day, and finally today I joined her Patreon for a modest monthly fee to get the many things you get there. I need a coach, when you join her Patreon page you get a video from her every morning, and at the level I signed on for there is a special live meeting every Friday. It’s like someone said in one of her live calls, she used to go to Weight Watchers (many times) and though she never lost the weight she wanted to lose she kept going for the meetings. We all need encouragement and a hand to hold along the way. So now I am following her on Patreon and I am going through loads of videos there and I just feel like I’m on some kind of high. I can do this, I am doing this, and Casey is going to help me get there. (And her Patreon is a fraction of the cost of Weight Watchers! You can even join for a couple of dollars a month and get the morning videos and other things.) If you need help on your keto journey I highly recommend Casey. Start with the free youtube videos and see what it’s like. She has helped make keto doable for me.

So yes, I’m going to be talking about keto in some of the posts. How could I not? Again, I am not trying to influence anyone else to go keto, I am just sharing my amazingly joyful journey with it.

In a little side note I want to share something that I am doing that is just bringing me so much peace. I put an amazing fireplace app on my computer last night, it is gorgeous, really like watching a real fire, and there are sounds of popping and crackling. I have it on my desktop now and I can see about half of it because the Chrome window is taking up half the screen but it is gorgeous and soothing. I had it on for hours last night. I have had it on since I got up this morning. It is fabulous. I got mine for free through the Microsoft store on my computer, there are probably others, but it is part of my self care. I am creating an environment for myself that is soothing, healing, peace-full. I highly recommend trying this. Here is what it looks like…

You can click in the corner and make it go full screen, I love doing this, and I sipped my coffee while watching a crackling fire and listening to Casey this morning and it was true bliss. Another little wonderful thing I’ve found on this 365 day journey. And by the way youtube has many fireplace videos that are wonderful. I can pull one up on my tv while I’m relaxing in the cozy room and it’s like sitting with a live fire. In the one I really love you can see a man’s hand reach in and add logs every once in awhile, I swear you think it’s a real fire. (I have a wonderful fireplace but haven’t been able to use it since my house fire. I’m afraid to even burn candles and I used to love them.) But this video is 3 hours long. You can go to sleep with it on and not be afraid the house will burn down! I just have to show it to you…

I will leave you with that. Nothing like the popping and crackling of a fire on a cold October night. And I wish you all a Happy Halloween. Be safe and have fun.



The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”

If you enjoy this blog a donation would be deeply appreciated to help me continue to bring “Maitri’s Heart” to you. Thank you, and many deep blessings to one and all…


  1. I am so happy for you and knowing you are feeling so much better mentally and physically Maitri. I am going to share the links to the videos and diet with a friend who has chronic fatigue and wants healing. Maybe it will speak to her and maybe it won’t but I will try.
    Happy Halloween to you. Oh yes the fireplace videos are wonderful.
    Love, Jean

    • Thank you so much Jean and I hope the links help your friend. This is all such a slippery slope. We’re ready when we’re ready. I remember a few months ago when both my daughter and my friend Noni did the Whole 30 diet. I was horrified, I would never have gone on that for many reasons and I couldn’t have sustained it. Other times I just wasn’t in the frame of mind to make the changes that needed to be made. The comfort of food was more important to me than any benefit that giving them up would bring. I was clinging to food as comfort as many people do. I guess timing is everything.

      And yes, Happy Halloween and don’t you just love the fireplace videos? It is cold in my studio, I really need a little space heater, but somehow this crackling fireplace that I’ve had going since this morning keeps me feeling cozy! 😀

      Have a lovely evening Jean…

  2. Thanks for the coaching page tip Maitri. I will have a look at Casey’s website. For now I feel like I’m doing well on my own but I may appreciate some extra input further down the line.
    I don’t miss the Halloween candy either.
    Congratulations on finally finding a sweeter for your coffee that works!

    • Joan, Casey is just wonderful and if you don’t want to be a Patron on Patreon you can just watch her youtube videos. I love her and I love having the little videos from her each morning. I watch while I’m having my coffee, it’s a great way for me to start the day! And yes, this sweetener is fantastic but I have to be very careful because while it is all natural and 0 sugar a tsp is 4 carbs! I put in too much today and it was really sweet. I think I’ll just try a teaspoon in the morning for a little flavor. I can’t overdo the carbs, but it sure is good! 😀

  3. Maitri,
    This blog is your own and,if others don’t want to know about keto, it’s their loss. I want to read about it but it’s nice to choose whether I will follow it or not. I have never felt forced to do something on this blog. I do feel loved and appreciated. Hugs, Memarge.

    • Oh I’m so happy you are here Marge and you know, there’s no one right way for anyone about anything! We all find what works best for us, and in my case it’s made such a difference in my life I just feel joyful sharing it, but I would never suggest that others need to. We all have different needs and lifestyles. I’m so glad that you feel loved and appreciated here for you surely are. Blessings to you dear Marge… 🙂

  4. Your weight loss is something to be really proud of, you sound so much better. Well done! x

    • Thanks so much Jenny, everyday I feel better and a lot of the feeling better comes from knowing that I am finally taking care of myself. This is new to me in so many ways. And it helps so much to have dear ones with me along on the journey. I’m so glad you are here… 🙂

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