The Experiment: Day 35 ~ What If, Here and Now, As I Am, I Am Enough?

Wow. Just wow. I got on the scale this morning and weighed 316.4 pounds. That is down 16.6 pounds in 2 weeks. Today starts week 3 on the keto diet. I am so excited I am about to pop. Every day is an adventure, and, amazingly, every day my coffee tastes a little bit better. I have hit a tipping point, which for me means my body is letting go of the sugar craving. I haven’t had any sugar in almost 3 weeks. It is a real battle giving it up, but I tell you what, it’s just as I said to my friend Joan this morning. I remember when I went to Weight Watchers all those times, something that they said that’s always stuck with me, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” Well I don’t know that I will ever qualify as truly thin, it’s not even my goal, but I know I will end up weighing a whole lot less. And more than anything, like the Weight Watcher’s saying, and even though I am only at the beginning of my journey, I feel so much better, both physically and mentally, better than I’ve felt in remembered time, better than I ever thought I’d feel, that I am in awe. And I know something for sure, that I must completely love and accept myself, as I am, each and every day, every step of the way, no matter how far I’ve come on the weight loss journey, because I am taking care of me, I am loving me, in a way I haven’t in my whole adult life. There has been a miracle, and I am grateful for it every moment of the day.

I cannot tell you how much this writing every day, committing to 365 days of this writing, has shaped this journey of mine. I started with no thought of keto whatsoever. I just wanted to feel better, physically and emotionally. I was doing and continue to do all kinds of self care practices, looking for paths to happiness, even searching for happiness in the tiny moments. And one day I finally faced my weight and poor diet and thought, “If I could do something about that I would feel so much better, I would be happier, I could maybe even reconnect with my body, learn to be comfortable in my own skin.” And it’s happening. It is starting to happen. First I eliminated sugar. The next week I went on the keto diet after reading a lot about it and talking to my therapist about it. 2 weeks in my life is changing. It won’t be long now until I am under 300 pounds. I haven’t seen a weight in the 200’s in a very long time. Hot damn diggety dog I’m on my way and it won’t be long now!

Inotherwords I know that this blog — and I’ve been blogging nearly 20 years — and writing, is a powerful act of transformation. I taught journal classes for nearly 40 years and saw lives transformed through writing. Now I am transforming mine. I encourage you to take up a practice, in a journal, on a blog, and commit to it. Imagine what you could do in one year? I don’t know what your goals are in life, they’re different for each of us of course, but you could get a long way toward reaching your goals if you started now, today, do a 365 day challenge on your blog maybe, and if you do tell me about it so I can follow you and cheer you along.

And the amazing thing about the ketogenic diet is that it doesn’t take very long, even if you’ve got a long way to go weight-wise as I do, to feel radically different. I said to my daughter Rachel this morning that — after having had a habit of a glass or two of wine every night — I could no more drink a glass of wine now, no, and it’s not just because I’m not supposed to, the very thought of it is almost abhorrent. As all the toxins leave my body and my palate changes — and as I said it happens quickly if you give up all the bad stuff and are strict about it — the changes that happen are almost miraculous. It is certainly a miracle in my life. And also, as I said to Rachel, there’s no chance of me going back. Go back to what? I have read too much, studied too much, and experienced such significant changes in my body that I just couldn’t put the things in my mouth that I used to. The whole mountain would crumble. My mental state would collapse. I would feel terrible about myself. I feel good now, and better every day, and I doubt that you’ll hear one more word about the “sugar in my coffee” issue. I realize now that it was all part of the sugar addiction, and letting go, and it takes awhile. My life is changing in every way, it is just like that moment in The Wizard of Oz where everything changes from black and white to full color. I never knew there were so many colors in the world!

I am taking it one day at a time, one moment at a time, one bite or sip at a time, and the thing is, the changes happening because of keto are making other, completely unrelated, changes happen in my life. When you start to feel good about yourself, gain confidence in yourself, when you really start to love yourself, the domino effect happens. You know what I’m going to do today? I am going to start a new, private, Pinterest board. It is going to be a kind of vision board really, about the life I want to have, the clothes I want to wear when I lose the weight, I feel giddy and giggly and just so excited. And if you’d like to follow me on Pinterest I have a HUGE Pinterest page, over 22,000 followers there, and in the top row on my page is a board called “Eating Keto” if you are interested in the recipes I’m using, and so forth. I’ll tell you a little secret. The board I am going to draw from is one of my favorite boards, it is about dressing in the Bohemian style, my preferred way of dressing, something that hasn’t been possible for me in a long time but which will be possible for me one day. The way I feel right now the sky is the limit! There’s no stopping me now. And I love myself completely, as I am, right here, right now, in this moment. My! I am just a splendid human being! And you know what? You are too!

Make a commitment to yourself today, take the first baby steps toward your secret dream. It’s all baby steps! Do it however it works for you if blogging isn’t your thing but do it. If not, why not? If not now, when? You will hear me say that often, it’s what I live by, it’s what’s driving me. I think my treat to myself, one day, for losing all the weight, might be to have those two little phrases tattooed on my body. There’s no time like the present. Onwards and Upwards!

Much sincere love to all…

 


The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: 
Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda

If you enjoy this blog a donation would be deeply appreciated to help me continue to bring “Maitri’s Heart” to you. Thank you, and many deep blessings to one and all…

Comments

  1. Wow! Congratulations Maitri. It does feel so good to get past that tipping point with carb craving. And I think your vision board sounds like a great inspiration for you.
    I have been happy that my clothes are fitting much more comfortably and soon I will be going back to some smaller pants that were relegated to the back of the closet.
    It’s true, that feeling better has much more meaning than a temporary taste in the mouth. Besides, the keto recipes are delicious. BTW. I made the almond cheddar biscuits yesterday and they were fabulous!

    • Thank you so much Joan! Again, I am so happy to have you along on this journey with me. It helps so much. And YAY!!! You made the biscuits! Aren’t they fabulous? My daughter was here last night and had one with her dinner and LOVED them. I think they are just divine. And the hunt for recipes is so much fun. I’m having a ball, I’m excited and happy, it’s as though I’m coming out of a dense fog, and we know that happens with keto when you eliminate all the sugar and refined carbs and grains. And it’s not hard at all with all the wonderful keto recipes there are out there. I’m just ticked to pieces that you made them! I just added 3 different recipes for the pizza crust keto people rave about, my therapist told me about it yesterday, to my Pinterest Board, and it’s NOT cauliflower! Have you made any keto pizza?

      Woohoo girl! Thanks so so so much for being here… 😀

      • No, I have not made any keto pizza yet. I think I have one recipe but have not tried it yet. Some of the keto recipes are too high in protein for my plan which would mean I could only have a very small piece.
        I hear you about the cauliflower! I am grateful we can do so many things with it and change the taste, but I have not eaten this much cauliflower before in my life! I’ve been glad to have zucchini as an option, but living in Canada, it won’t be long before it is much less available. I will have to be very creative during the winter months.
        I’m going to be away from home for several days in November but when I get back I will likely start looking for more new recipes for the colder months.

        • Well I eat pretty doggoned strict during the week but when Noni is here on the weekends we adventure into some keto cooking. I don’t know what this plan is that you’re on but I am just following the keto guidelines online and in the book I’m reading. I’ve calculated my macros so I know what they are, but I am not writing everything down like I should and will. It will get more and more refined as I go along. It’s so overwhelming going on keto because there’s SO much to learn, and just eliminating everything that I did all at once was so huge I’ve lost over 16 1/2 pounds in 2 weeks. My body is really changing in amazing ways. I know I will have to count more things more closely as I go along but right now I am just doing everything I can everyday as carefully as possible, there isn’t a SPECK of non-keto food in my house, and I swear, just eliminating the glass or two of wine each night, all sugar, all processed carbs and grains, and so on has made changes start happening fast. You’ve been on this path longer than I have but I know that it would be much harder for me to do this if I wasn’t able to make some of these wonderful keto recipes.

          Good luck to you and I hope you find some wonderful recipes in November. Let me know if you do! Hugs to you honey… <3

  2. Wonderful post, you sound radiant! Congratulations on the weight loss! x

    • Thank you so much Jenny honey, you are so dear, I really appreciate you being here and your kind words mean so much. I hope you are having a wonderful day… 🙂

  3. Oh you’re on your way
    up to freedom land, whoopee
    taking us with you!!!

    xo
    ka

    • Darling Ka,

      Yes, I am on my way and it feels wonderful and I am so glad to finally have started down this wonderful path and of course you know that writing every day has been a huge part of the impetus to do all of this. The power of the pen!

      I love you honey, thanks so much for being here with me… 🙂

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