It has been a cold dreary day, the kind of day that just kind of takes it out of you somehow. And I just checked with Siri about the weather and she reported that it was 37 degrees, the temperatures are dropping, and snow and sleet are predicted. This is most unusual for us here on the southern coast of North Carolina. We had a snow this year that lasted for several days — this never happens — and now it is predicted again. And it has rained pretty much all day. I feel a bit sunk tonight. I’m trying to just hold steady. These are the last days of winter. Spring will be here in a little over a week. Winter wanted to have one last say in the matter.
I have felt so down I ended up perusing several sites about how the weather affects depression and mood disorders and it surely does. Often I find a rainy day soothing but today I had to go out in it to take Tanner pug to the vet and neither of us was very thrilled about it. It felt good to get home, and I pulled this program up to write today’s blog post and I just couldn’t do it. I took the pugs out in a break in the rain, heated up my cozy neck and shoulder wrap (with lavender sprinkled all over it before heating it, this will make you positively blissy!), and curled up in the big chair with the pugs for a nap. Some days I just rest, but late this afternoon I fell into a deep sleep. We did not get up until a little after 7:30 — the pugs usually have their dinner at 6:30 — and now I am in that kind of foggy state that happens when you have really slept before the time you should really be sleeping and you wake up and the day has passed you by. I can’t seem to find my balance.
Why does the rain make me feel insecure and afraid? Why do my worst fears surface, and a kind of hopelessness creep in? And I have to take the other two pugs over to the vet early in the morning. It is their “spa” day. I can do the bath at home but they charge to do the toenails and will do the bath and clean the ears for very little more so one month Tanner goes and the next month Pugsley and Delilah go. Tomorrow is P & D’s day. But if we get up at 7 and it is snowing and sleeting I will reschedule. I’m not going out in that weather with the pugs. That weighs heavily on me too. Today the rain is like I imagine it must be being covered by one of those weighted blankets. I think one of those would make me claustrophobic, but then I sleep with pugs on top of me so I’ve no need for one. The pugs are a comfort, they’re all I need…
When I say I sleep under a pile of pugs I’m not kidding!
Oh Lordy, I want to write something of substance, something that matters, something that might help someone, but honestly, I’m struggling here. It’s getting late and the window has closed on any kind of real writing that might have value. I am stumbling about here and making a bigger mess as I go so I’ll just stop here. I’m so sorry. Tomorrow is another day…
The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda
my answer is always reading a good book. it just takes me out of myself. but it’s also ok to feel a little lost and down and even a little scared. it’s part of being human, as you well know, and as you would say to anyone. hang in there, as you say, tomorrow is another day. and being chipper all the time isn’t realistic, maitri. we WANT to be chipper and even ecstatic, we’re alive, halelulia, but there is alot to be sad and anxious about in this world, and it’s ok to be sensitive, even over-sensitive. you will rally, and new energy will arise, and the sun will come out.
TRUST
xo
ka
Thank you so much dear Ka…
It is such a comfort to me to have you here this evening. And of course tomorrow is another day, and this, too, will surely pass. I’ve not been overly worried about being down, just having a hard time being productive because I am. I’m okay, I’m fine, it’s just not an easy day.
By the way, what are you reading now dear sister? I’d love to know… 🙂
I hope you are having a cozy evening…
M. xoxox
I hear ya Maitri❤️….Mama said there’ll be days like this., There’ll be days like this, mama said 🎶🎶 ( I’m not sure if you were born when that song was out.)
I read the following and it made me laugh today while I was trapped in the dentist chair and forgot to medicate before I left. It helped me out of mind blowing panic and reminded to to lighten up. Thought I’d share…..
Three Stages of Life
1. Birth
2. What the fuck is this
3. Death
Ellie, FIRST of all of COURSE I was alive when that song was out! Ha ha ha! I’ll be 64 next month!
And darlin’ you made me LAUGH OUT LOUD with your three stages of life and man did I need that. I’m still laughing about it! Thank you so much!
Phew! I REALLY needed that! 😀
Just woke up at 3 am over here and couldn’t find the way back to sleep. So I thought I might as well look if Maitri’s blogpost is up – ha! A good laugh and some tea. Perhaps I’ll be able to sleep a little now.
Hope you and the puglets will be able to go out tomorrow. No more snow needed. May there be spring soon.
Love
Silke
Hello Darling Silke, I hope you were able to go back to sleep. It is now past noon here and we were indeed able to go out this morning, no snow but cold. I am about to go back and pick Pugsley and Delilah up at the vet in a few minutes.
It is a sunny day today which is a relief. I can do the cold, just not the dreary, rainy sort of day. I actually went back to sleep with Tanner pug after I took the other little ones over to the vet early. I still have not quite adjusted to Daylight Savings Time. Do you have this in Germany?
I haven’t even had coffee yet. I’ll make it when I get back with the babies. Today is kind of a discombobulated day, but it’s okay. Onward and upward I go. I hope you are having a good one.
Hugs,
Maitri
Dearest Maitri,
Alas, the night was over. In the end I got up and had a shower and just started early. Daylight Savings Time will start the last weekend of March here in Germany. I so not like my rythm switched around. It takes me weeks to adjust every year!
Hope you and the pugs had a good day.
Love
Silke
Sweet Silke,
Ah, damn the time! I wrote something to Joan above that I am wondering about. And first of all I’m not sure if this applies for you, if there’s anything in it at all anyway, because I don’t know how old you are? I am 63, will be 64 on April 30. What I said to Joan was that I wondered if the time changes become more difficult as you age? Young people just seem to bound around like nothing ever bothers them physically. Those of us who are older seem to have more sleep challenges. Many of my friends experience insomnia, or sleep a few hours and are up “for the day” like you said, from around 3 or so on. I am rarely asleep before 1, and I am rarely “up” until between 9 and 10, but it is broken sleep because I may be up to pee as many as 3 or 4 times during the night. I don’t have a LOT of trouble going back to sleep but it does take time. I am never up (Except maybe to go to the bathroom and then back to sleep.) at 7 a.m which I had to be this morning because I had to have the pugs over to the vet by 7:30. And as the time just changed a couple of days ago it was really like getting up at 6 because my body has not yet adjusted to the change. I went back to sleep with Tanner for awhile but it was very fitful, and I was very anxious, and worrying about things I haven’t much worried about in some time. I went and got the pugs at 1 and finally sat down here with my coffee at 1:30. I would normally be having coffee by 10. Now I am all discombobulated and kind of lost feeling. Things will shake out but these are uneven days.
It is, however, a sunny day, in the 40’s so warmer than yesterday, and that helps a lot. And COFFEE HELPS. And having 2 days in a row running back and forth to the vet are now behind me. Tomorrow I have therapy but not until 2 so I can have whatever passes as a “normal” night’s sleep. I hope by the end of the week my mood will even out. At this age disrupted sleep will mess with you. I wish you well on your time change ahead.
Sending you love, I am now going to go back to sipping my coffee and moving slowly into the day. So odd to really be “starting” my day at 2 in the afternoon. Onward I go, trudging ahead….
Oh Maitri I felt the same way today! I had too much sleep and woke up feeling dragged out like I overslept. 8 hours is too much for me and that was what I had. One of my favorite expressions is BOY OH BOY OH BOY etc. So as I was walking around waking up I kept saying that. We’ve had rain for two days now and I didn’t even get out of my pajamas until I took a shower around noon. It felt good, especially the hot water. That always relaxes me.
This afternoon I felt myself dragging again and since it was National Nap Day I decided to celebrate. Yep after 8 hours of sleep I napped. That’s what dreary, rainy days will do. So my dear you certainly were not alone. And yes, there was a bit of anxiety underneath all of that. Sunshine and warmth (not HOT) I’m waiting… trying to be patient …
Love, Jean
BOY OH BOY OH BOY! I HEAR you darlin’..
It did not snow here last night and though still coldish, in the 40’s, it’s a pretty day. But anxiety is running through the hours in a way it hasn’t in a long time, another thing for me to move through and conquer. Being out two days in a row with the pugs to the vet and having to get up really early today to take Delilah and Pugsley over for their appointments means I didn’t sleep a long time last night. I did come home and go back to sleep with Tanner pug. I am just about to leave soon to go pick the little ones up. I will be glad when we are all home and I can make my coffee. I don’t like feeling uneasy like this.
I hope this is a better day for you. I am taking mine minute by minute. I was actually just going to look up tapping for anxiety. You talk about it so much and I had done it at one point years ago. Perhaps it’s time to try again…
Love to you honey,
Maitri
If you ever want to learn tapping or tap with me I am available. I do not charge for tapping. I love to teach it so people can do it themselves. If you would like to tap with me let me know.
Thank you Jean honey that’s very kind of you to offer. I’ll keep it in mind… <3
Usually, the time changes don’t affect me much, but, this week it seems to have. With the time change Sunday I thought I would sleep deeply Sunday night. But I didn’t and also found myself awake very early Monday. So yesterday was a sleepy day. Last night I slept deeply and my alarm had to wake me up today. My point is, that these changes in our circadian rhythms can have more impact than we might have thought.
Here in Ontario, Canada we are eagerly awaiting spring. Our weather has been so up and down in recent weeks with alternating versions of snowing and melting and people are simply tired of the dreariness and cold. Thankfully, we have had more sunny days than other winters, which is certainly a saving grace.
I bought myself a bunch of tulips at the grocery store on Saturday and they have really cheered up our space and given us hope for spring. 🙂
Ah Joan this has been a challenging time changing time for many of us. And as I sit here typing this I wonder if it affects us more as we get older? I had to be up at 7 this morning so I didn’t sleep as well last night and it was SO hard to get up. I had to take two of the pugs over to the vet. I came home and curled back up in the chair with Tanner pug and went back to sleep with him but the sleep was fitful and I was uneasy. As I wrote to Jean above I am having anxiety in a way I haven’t in a long time. I’m sure once I adjust to the time change and get some decent sleep everything will sort itself out.
Ah, tulips. I had those gorgeous purple ones that Noni brought me a couple of weeks ago and I was surprised how long they lasted but they are gone now. I could do with some flowers here. Tomorrow I go out for therapy. I might look for some then.
I hope you are having a good day today. I am kind of taking it one moment at a time. I’m leaving now to go pick up Delilah and Pugsley and then will come home and make my coffee, very late for me here today. Maybe then I’ll feel better.
A warm hug to you honey…
Maitri