Miracles Come In Small Packages…

It is true that good things come in small packages. My life is filled with animal companions and they bring me untold joy everyday, grace manifested, unconditional love to soothe and heal my spirit when the hard bi polar times come and my anxiety and agoraphobia are so extreme I cannot even go out to get the mail. I have always considered them great healers, but I have just been blessed with the most extraordinary little presence I have ever met. Her name is Delilah.

In April I lost my beloved pug Penny on the operating table. She had suffered terrible  abuse and neglect before she came to me and she was blind with a host of other problems but she was so gentle and she spent her days in my lap while I worked on the computer. She was 12 years old when she went in for emergency surgery to have an eye removed. When I took her in that morning I was told that I could pick her up in the afternoon, that removal of the eye was not a difficult procedure and she would do fine once it was out. I held her close, hugged and kissed her, and reluctantly handed her over to the doctor’s assistant. It would be the last time I ever saw her.

I was so devastated when Penny died that I went into a profound depression, and didn’t know how I would move past it. I grieved terribly and so did my other pugs, my sweet boys, Sampson, Tanner, and Pugsley. People seldom realize what an impact it has on the other members of the pack when they lose one of their own but they were deeply impacted and we all held on to one another and moved through the loss together.

Time passed and I began to open my heart to the idea of adopting another little girl. No one could ever replace Penny but as a long time animal advocate and involved in pug rescue for some time I felt that it would honor Penny and my love for her to take in another little girl that needed a loving home. I put in my application and I waited. It seemed that the time would never come when I got the message that a new little girl was coming in to rescue. She had been rescued from a puppy mill where she was used to produce several litters and kept in a small cage. She was only 5 years old, frightened, and suffered severe separation anxiety. They knew that I had long experience with rescue pugs, having adopted 10 over several years, and that I worked from home. Delilah needed someone who could be with her. I was delighted.

On the 1st of September a lovely couple drove her to me. They had fallen in love with her and said they would love to have adopted her if she had been available. The coordinator as well as the family who drove her here all remarked on how incredibly soft she was, and tiny. Just like Penny. Another tiny little girl to hold in my arms. Penny was 14 pounds and so is Delilah, but Delilah is young and healthy, save needing to recover from her hard early life.

I fell in love with her on sight and she, me. As soon as the dear family that brought her left I made my latte — it was early morning — and scooped her up and sat at the computer with her in my lap. The picture at the top of this entry is the first picture I ever took of Delilah. As soon as I snapped the picture she leaned forward and took a sip of my latte. A girl after my own heart!

I have never encountered a little one with such serious separation anxiety. If I walk down the hall to use the bathroom she cries in the most pitiful way. If I get up at night she flies out of bed out of a sound sleep and is right on my heels. The very few times I have had to leave for short periods she was simply beside herself when I got home and is now on a mild tranquilizer to help her and she, like Penny, lives in my lap while I work, sleeps on my chest while I read and write, and she is the most precious little thing, I simply can’t tell you, but there is more…

Not long after Delilah arrived I realized something was different about her. Pugs are by nature very loving and affectionate and all of my pugs have been so very dear and sensitive to my moods but Delilah was much more so. When I feel the slightest bit of anxiety she crawls up on my chest just under my chin and lies there until I feel calmer. At night when I am having a bad night she crawls up on my pillow and sleeps with her little head in the crook of my neck. And there have been 3 different interesting incidents when people have come to the cottage. One woman who was afraid of dogs, even my other three sweet, gentle pugs, was so drawn to Delilah she held her in her arms cuddled close to her for 45 minutes. On two different occasions when someone was visiting who was very stressed or sad or having a hard time Delilah has jumped off of my lap, which she seldom ever does, gone and jumped up on my guest, and crawled up on their chest like she does with me, and laid there very close for some period of time. People love to stroke her incredibly soft fur and you can see their body relax, their breathing become easier, and a transformation take place. Delilah is a natural service dog, and she will be one for me.

With a combination of bi polar disorder, PTSD, severe anxiety, and agoraphobia I have hard days, and I can work my way through them, my animals are always a huge help, but leaving the house is very hard and I do it very seldom, sometimes not going to the grocery store for 3 weeks until the cupboard is really bare (Not for the animals, never for them, I always have their food, treats, and needs delivered). Delilah will be trained and certified as a service dog, and she will be able to go with me when I need to go out. Once again I thought I was adopting a little girl in need. In truth, she came to save me. Or, rather, I suppose, we are saving each other.

And so as I sit here writing now she is here on me, looking up at me, and I put my hand on her. Skin to fur, the best medicine in the world. Miracles come in small packages, and she is mine.

If you enjoy this blog a donation would be deeply appreciated to help me continue to bring “Maitri’s Heart” to you. Thank you, and many deep blessings to one and all…

Comments

  1. What a wonderfully symbiotic relationship!
    Companions on the journey…
    Thanks for all you do and all you are <3

  2. Donna Dearheart,

    Thank you so much for your kind comment honey. They truly are my angels. I’ve just had all the dogs out for the last time, the little boys are snoring in beds close around me and wee Delilah is asleep in my lap. I have miles to go before I sleep with a lot of writing to do tonight but it is so peaceful here surrounded by so much love and my tiny girl snuggled in my lap eases my heart as I work. Whatever would we do without our fur babies? 🙂

    Blessings to you,

    Maitri

  3. Amanda Davie says:

    Oh-what a wonderful relationship-full of love, compassion, and deep understanding…sounds like she is a Reiki dog! The universe knew that you needed each other, for that I am sure. So glad you were both able to connect and I’m sure will enrich one another’s lives for a very long time. Animals are so incredible, and if we all could only slow down enough to listen, they have so much to teach us. light and love—thank you for contributing so much beauty and light into our worlds!

    • Dear. Dear Amanda,

      It’s interesting that you said a Reiki Dog because I am a Reiki Master and I work with my 9 animals all the time with Reiki. I do it with Delilah while she is in my lap. I think the sensitivity that we learn in the process of becoming one with the Reiki energy helps us more closely relate to the animals we are blessed to share our lives with and helps us not only help them but be open to the love and teaching they have to give. My animal companions and I have a symbiotic relationship and it is deeper than anything I have ever know save when my children were newborns at my breast and there was that profound connection a mother has with her precious child. But even though we love them with our whole hearts for the rest of their lives, they begin to separate and move out into the world more and more from very young on. I was seriously abused from 4-18 and I know it was my dog, and my horse, that saw me through, and I have never been without sweet animals the whole time I was raising my children, and my animal family grew once I was alone. And they are the ones that I wake up with in the morning, go to bed with at night, and share my days with in a very close, intimate way. The connection is so deep and profound I simply have no words. I will leave you with a funny little picture that I took one morning early when I woke up as they were all asleep on and around me. I laugh and told people when I shared the picture that now they knew why I woke up feeling like Gulliver tied down by the Lillipugtians! And with the PTSD, and severe anxiety that I have I have had terrible nightmares of the abuse all my life… until I started sleeping with the pugs. I always say it is like sleeping with real live teddy bears. Their shape and size and soft fur and warm bodies all around me, and I almost always go to sleep with my hand on one of them, nestled in their fur. So yes, this is very profound and deep and one of the greatest blessings I have ever known.

      Thank you so much for visiting and leaving your kind comment, it has meant the world to me.

      Blessings,

      Maitri

      Don't Wake The Babies...

      • Amanda Davie says:

        ohh—I see and feel the love-thank you for sharing that snugglie picture. Maitri-we are all so blessed to be invited into this circle of love, hope, and sharing. Thank you so very much…look forward to sharing, and listening, and supporting everyone!

        • Thank you again Amanda. My work is all about creating a circle of love, a safe haven, and that is just what the Cozy Room is for. It is free, private, members must be approved, and I have very firm rules in that all the members must act in loving kindness, compassion, and loving support for others. It’s what my whole life is about. I’m so glad you are with us honey… Blessings to you….

  4. What a lovely, lovely story – I cried for SO many reasons. For your loss of sweet Penny, for the gift of Delilah and your other sweet babies, for saying that you sometimes can’t walk out to the mailbox (my son gets my mail for me and I often feel ashamed of that – silly, but true). I have kitties (4 rescue kitties) and more often than I can count they have come to me to comfort me, make me laugh, kiss away tears, stare into my eyes, melt my heart. I can’t imagine them NOT in my life. Thank you for rescuing Delilah and Penny and the boys and sharing them with the rest of us! =)

    • Oh sweet Donna…

      How very blessed we both are to share our lives with our sweet animal companions, and you know what, a big part of my work is about helping people accept themselves exactly as they are in exactly the circumstances they are in and help them understand how they can build a life that works for them even when no one else understands. I don’t panic because I can’t get the mail some days or the groceries are low, I know that eventually I will get the mail and the food will come in. I don’t know if you joined my list but if you haven’t I think you’d like the free eBook you get for signing up. It’s called “Embracing Fitting Out When You Never Really Fit In.” I live in a world of my own creation where I feel safe, where I can do my work and use my gifts in the way that I can in the world and lead a rich and fulfilling life right here. It is possible. And my sweet animal companions are a big part of why this is possible. We rescue each other, we love each other, and they are some of the most deeply profound blessings in my life. I know you know that because of your kitties… 🙂

      Take care dearheart. I’m glad you visited today. I hope you will come again soon.

      Love,

      Maitri

  5. What a lovely story!
    Think of you often – last time the other day when I found “Wee Peter Pug”, by Ernest Aris.
    (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/18760/18760-h/18760-h.htm), at Gutenberg.
    love,
    Margaretha

    • Oh Margaretha!!! Honey it is SO Good to see you! I have missed you so much!

      How is your mother? And Oskar? I think of you so often. I have a free private group on Facebook that is so lovely and supportive. We have even started a fiber circle there. I’d love to have you there if you are on FB and would like to come. I’d love to be able to see you more often. It’s the link at the top of this website, The Cozy Room. If not I hope we can be in touch more often.

      I am sending you so much love and a big hug and OH! You know I’m right off to check out Wee Peter Pug!

      LoveLoveLove,

      Maitri 🙂

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