From A Soft, Quiet, Contemplative Space…

“With practice, you can develop the habit of praying silent ‘breath prayers.’ “
~ Rick Warren ~
It is a moment of grace. A day of silent meditation, looking for answers to a question that has been echoing inside of me for a very long time. I posed the question mid-morning and then entered that space of “breath prayers.” These days are rare. For a contemplative who spends designated times throughout the day for prayer and meditation I came to the decision that I needed to seek the answers I have been looking for and broken pieces of time would not work. Yesterday I decided to send a weekly newsletter, passing on whatever guidance came to me in prayer, sharing it in a way I hadn’t before, opening myself to things I have not heretofore been comfortable with, and so I spent the day watching my breath and breathing in and out slowly and purposefully. I am still afraid but the answers came.
“Choose a sacred word or phrase. Consistently use the same word throughout the day. Begin silently to repeat your word or phrase.”
~ Mark Yaconelli ~
On the inbreath I said, “Help me” and on the outbreath I “to know.”
I am having a cup of oolong tea…
“Help me … to know.”
Carrying a very large bird around, holding his large beak in my hand he was particularly quiet and gentle today. I kissed the soft white skin around his eyes…
“Help me … to know.”
Sitting with my injured knee propped up on ice…

                                                               “Help me … to know.”

Doing the daily chores as best I could, hobbling around…

“Help me … to know.”

Should I do this?

“Help me … to know.”

As I went through the day the prayer that came to me many years ago would surface…

“God, please help me be a channel for your peace, love, light, hope, and joy.”

“Help me … to know.”

The prayer that is my daily mantra kept coming to me and I realized that the answer lie inside those words…

“Help me … to know.”

The hours of the day flowed softly and in the silence around me I asked…

“Help me … to know.”

It is evening now and time to put the five parrots to bed. The answers had come. Yes, I am to continue my commitment for the rest of my life to rescuing animals, even when the work leaves me weary, even when the new soul to enter my space is afraid and bites, or has other behaviors that are difficult, I will be given the gifts that I have been given lo these many years. We are a peaceable kingdom here and my life has been meant to be one of service. As a minister whose life is lived in solitude and silence, the animals who come to me and bless me with their presence are my congregation. St. Francis is ever near.

The words that I write are my homily. The breath that I take is a gift. The words that have been given me were meant to be used even when I am afraid to open myself to those outside my sphere. I am meant to write the books that I have been afraid to write. I am to use my gifts culled from thirty years of writing, and teaching a very healing journal class to thousands, of practicing deep listening to those in need. I tremble. I am afraid. What we are here to do comes in unexpected ways, in surprising places. I trust that I am on the right path.

Help me to know how to do this. Guide me as I know you will. Teach me to be a channel for your peace, love, light, hope and joy. 

It is time for me to begin teaching, listening, healing in a whole new way, not just through my writing but through talking to those in need of the gifts I have to offer through one hour phone sessions, one per day, only five students/tender souls/those who have been sent to me as I am meant to receive them. In this way, I will earn the money I need to sustain this small place of solace, silence, and care of the little ones in need, to do the work I am meant to do, to have time to write the books that are my sacred message coming from a humble heart, the words will come even when I am afraid that they won’t. The books will sell because they come through me, not from me. I am meant to live a contemplative life and use these gifts. We all have them and we were not meant to question them even when we are afraid and don’t know how we will do these things. We will receive guidance. We must constantly be open to that guidance. We must be humble in the use and administration of our gifts. We must believe and know that God doesn’t make mistakes and what we are guided to do we must do. I am still afraid, but I have faith.

Help me to know, help me to remain open to your guidance, help me to carry out your will. When I don’t know what to do I know the answers will come. 

It is time to put the parrots to bed. The dogs are asleep. Tonight will continue to be spent in silence, in prayer, in beginning to set up the work that I am supposed to do. This day of silent breath prayers has been fruitful. Fear will surface, it will subside, and I will do my work.

Help me to know…

I believe that I know. I believe that this day has been a sacred gift. I will use what I have been guided to in faith that it is right and that I am meant to forge on even when fear and uncertainty surface. I will be helped to know. And now I must begin…


Make this the year your resolutions come true!

Make this the year your resolutions come true!

Leave a Comment

*