The Experiment: Day 294 ~ I’m Afraid, But I’m Going To Do This…

I made the above graphic almost 5 years ago to the day, July 12, 2013. It was before the fire. I had lived here, in my beloved Dragonfly Cottage, finally the manifestation, physically, of the Dragonfly Cottage I had imagined into being in 1999 — every place I had lived after that, and there were many, I called Dragonfly Cottage — but this place, this was finally it. It burned down and was rebuilt in 2014. But today the work that I have done in my life, decades of writing and teaching and community building and working with women in circles, has come to this moment, is the basis for The Sunday Night Writing Group that will begin in the next couple of weeks. There comes a moment when it is time for you to do the work you are here to do, whether you are afraid or not. Every single thing I have done in my life has led me to this.

But Lordy moses am I afraid. I am not afraid to teach. I know I am a good teacher. I am not afraid to gather with women in circle. But the technology is daunting. My friend Bekah is going to help me get started but, in talking briefly last night about it we realized that the platform that I am able to use, a free audio platform, is not optimum. The ones that would be wonderful to use would not only not be free but they would really be more complicated to use and would likely require an assistant ongoing to help run it and I surely can’t afford to pay someone for a service I am offering for free. Dear Bekah will help me get started but then I am on my own.

My teaching is not a casual, hang loose affair. It is structured and we get a lot done. But in 2 hours it will be hard to get done what I want to do, what I want to provide, if I have to fiddle around with technology. This makes me so afraid it makes it hard to move forward. Oh, I’m going to, never fear, and we have 15 women, including me, signed up so far. We will be starting by the end of July, I’m thinking by July 29 if not the week before, and I think the only way to do it is to do it and make the best of it.

One example of the difficulty in this. On other paid platforms when someone signs up they provide their name and email and when they “enter the room” you can see who they are, you can see their name. With the free platform I will be using people call in via their phone and you can see their phone numbers but when it comes time for people to offer to read I will have no idea who they are, you can only see a phone number. It seems that when people enter the room you can assign a name but you could take the first 15 minutes trying to handle that and there is no time for that. When class begins IT BEGINS. I introduce the class and the process and we get writing!

I hope that people will bear with me as I find my way into how to handle the logistics and the technology. I am a smart person and I know that I will figure this out. I know there is a way. But the first few weeks there might be bumps in the road and hurdles to cross with how we handle the technology involved in getting together. I am going to be using a platform called FreeConferenceCallHD. If any of you know of a free platform that works really well and isn’t hard to manage let me know but I am aware of most of what is being used today and none of it is free.

The thing is, the bottom line, is that the important thing to me, even over and above the writing we will do together, is the sense of community, of having a place you know you can come on Sunday night, to be in community, to be in safe and sacred space, to know that you are not alone, and to know that there is something that you can do, that you can participate in, that will see you in good stead for the week ahead. And already 10 of the 15 women registered have come into the “Secret” Facebook group, most have introduced themselves and started to talk about their writing. You will not just have 2 hours on a Sunday night. You will have an ongoing sense of community. This is what I wanted to create, it is what I am good at, it is what I am dedicating my life, the rest of it, as long as I am able, to doing.

I just need to get through these first few weeks, the scary place of stepping into a whole new way of doing things, of fumbling through the technology while trying to teach that which has long been in my heart, and which I have done with countless people since I was in my 20’s. I can do this. I will do this. I will find my way.

Hold a good thought for me, will you? And if you are in the group please bear with me. This is going to be something very special, I just know it. I found a quote in a book I am clutching close to my heart just now. It is a book I started using in 1999 when I created Dragonfly Cottage Community For Women. The book is dog-earred, the pages are yellowed, there are copious notes everywhere, post-its, it is worn soft from use. The book is Sacred Circles: A Guide To Creating Your Own Women’s Spirituality Group. Of course this will not be a spirituality group, it is a writing group, but my commitment is a deeply spiritual one in my heart.

In a very short time there were 1500 women involved in that community. That was long before Facebook and Social Media. I ran the community through 15 integrated Yahoo lists. The biggest list and central part of the community was women at midlife. I was 45 years old at the time. Now I am 64 and women midlife and beyond are the people I am most comfortable spending my time with, but I welcome women of all ages, and even gentle men if they need a place to come too. This was not always the case for me, I have always run women only communities and felt strongly about that but I have a son I love with all my heart, I have 4 grandsons, in my life some of my best friends have been gay men. There are so many gentle, loving men out there. I want them to know that they are welcome too.

The quote that I came across just moments ago I deeply needed to see and it is what I will hold fast to. It is about commitment…

“Commitment is the willingness to stick to your vision throughout the inevitable ups and downs that will occur.”  Gail Straub and David Gershon

I am, if nothing else, deeply committed to this. I will find my way. I am on my way. I hope that you will join us, or pass the word and link along to someone you think might need and be comforted by having such a place to come to on Sunday nights and beyond. Please see below for more information about signing up.

The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda

If you are interested in joining us on Sunday nights please send me an email to: TheSundayNightWritingGroup@gmail.com. I am going to be using a MailChimp list to send out information about the group and I must have your written permission to add you to the list. Simply saying “Add me to the list” and giving me the email address you would like to use is sufficient. For more information about The Sunday Night Writing Group click on the link herein.