The Experiment: Day 155 ~ When It’s Right It’s Easy, And On Trusting That What I Have To Offer Is Enough…

Well, sometimes you have to hit a wall just to WAKE UP!

Yesterday was very hard and last night I was wrung out. I was so wrung out I didn’t think I could do any of this at all. I’ve had a go at the technology so many times these last weeks and not been able to make it work that I just couldn’t try anymore. I was trying to integrate a fancy forum platform with Patreon like some other people do but do you know what? First of all, I am not big and fancy here folks. I am down to earth, I am as if planting a garden from the beginning with my apron pocket full of seed packets just going slowly, making rows and planting seeds, and knowing that all I have to do is plant the seeds and trust in the natural order of things.

I have been pushing way too hard trying to do way too much to make this thing bigger than it needs to be. And then I realized — though I’ve looked at the page a thousand times and somehow just glossed over it — the basic Patreon page COMES WITH a “Community Tab.” And that is surely enough to get started and probably for some time to come. I would have had to pay for the other platform, a modest monthly fee, but I don’t really have the money even for the modest fee. If it had been easier, and I had been able to do the technical integration, I would have been paying for something that I may never need. And when I get a good many patrons and the money is there to do a bigger forum then maybe I will and maybe then I will have enough money coming in to pay someone to help me. To everything there is a season. This is the season for moving slowly, growing slowly into a beautiful garden, seed by seed. I almost cried from relief. And oh what a relief it’s been. And then I remembered that phrase “When it’s right, it’s easy.” Good God yes, how did I forget that?

And then I realized that there really IS a slow easy way to open this Patreon page/community so that I can have it up maybe within the week with very little work. Here’s the thing about Patreon — you build a community with several different levels and for each level up you go you get more rewards, i.e. the basic level, at a $2 per month pledge, will get you the community which is the heart and soul of the whole thing. It will get you links to these blog posts and more. It will get what I call “Pop in videos” which will be short thoughtful videos to say hello briefly and share something with you. I will be present and answering you in the community, putting out some topics, asking questions and responding. You will get a lot of content, a lot of my presence and attention, at only $2 a month. At the $5 a month level you will get morning videos 5x a week, and at the $10 a month level you will be able to engage in a Livestream with me each week. At each level you get everything from every level below you + the reward for your level. And so it goes. Most people have rewards for the $25/$50/$100 a month Patrons and some go way up from there. BUT I DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL AT ONCE. And you never have to go beyond the $2 a month level if you don’t want to.

You see my problem was that I figured that I had to have ALL of the technology for videos, livestreams, etc, EVERYTHING, worked out for several rewards levels at the beginning. I simply do not have to do this. The first most basic $2 a month level will be, as I said, the heart and soul of the whole thing, and I can open the Patreon page and invite people in and begin growing the community at that level. I want to get the $5 and $10 levels up soon because I am excited about what those offerings will be and the technology to do those things, while a bit of a learning curve, is NOTHING compared to what I have been dealing with. I will open the community, invite people in, begin planting seeds, and within a few weeks the next level will open up and then the next level and so on. I don’t need to try to slam dunk a whole community at once! I need to grow it slowly from the ground up. That is what I am going to do.

Next, it has been affirmed for me, in countless ways over the past weeks, that my fear of not “being enough, doing enough, creating enough” simply is not warranted. I have something incredibly valuable to offer. Let me tell you why you should join this community, and yes, it’s women only, and private. Paid members only, always, forever.

You can go to Facebook. Yes, it’s free. But it costs you. It is not private, there are more and more spammers and hackers and people railing and raging and bullying all over the place, and with Facebook’s algorithms getting screwier all the time you barely see any of your friends in real time, it may be days later and often not at all. And God knows who might show up on your page or see your content. And I can never figure out why my friends aren’t in my feed but countless people whose names I don’t even recognize are there? And as we all know this is getting worse all the time. I am not leaving Facebook, not yet, but I will be spending less and less time there because it just isn’t what it was nearly a decade ago when I joined. I want more, I want private, I want enriching and real content in real time. I want gentleness, compassion, loving kindness, and I will tell you right now I tend to my communities with the heart of a Lioness protecting her cubs. No “flaming,” spamming, bullying or anything of that nature, or you are instantly OUT, it will NOT be a place for political or religious debate or anything of that ilk. It will be a safe and sacred space for women to come to to be listened to, heard, witnessed, and answered. I used to do that a lot on Facebook. I will now be putting that energy into my Patreon community. I want my time and my life to matter, as we all do. This is my work and this will be the place that I will do it.

And yes, I will always answer thoughtfully, and from the heart, every person who comments here, but, too, people’s comments are not private. Anyone who comes to this blog can see them and I know it keeps many people from commenting at all and keeps others who would like to say more from doing that. In the Patreon community you will have a private space to pour your heart out if you need a place to come to be heard, hugged, and answered. I will answer you as best I can, but we will be building a whole community of women who will also answer one another. I have built communities all my life and I know how powerful they are. This is going to be an incredible thing. You can’t do this on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or other social platforms. You will be able to do it in this new Patreon community I am creating.

Something else, and I have mentioned this before, but it’s something that really hit me. It is an observation and I haven’t quite figured it all out but I noticed this again last night and it says something.

I have been doing this blog for a long time, over 10 1/2 years now. I have written all kinds of posts and a great many of them have been very honest sharing about struggles that I have had and they have been many as I dealt with mental health issues and more. And throughout all of these years something interesting has happened. It seems to me to be more pronounced since I started this 365 day experiment because overall the posts have been lighter and happier as I have found my way, but almost without exception the posts where I share my struggles, as I did yesterday when I had such a hard, painful day, hands down get more comments and engagement, far more than the lighter happier posts. And it made me realize something.

It made me realize that people most respond when I have struck a chord in them, because people might think, “Well that’s nice.” when I am having a good day but when I really share how much I am suffering on a given day people come to offer comfort, support, and more than anything I hear people saying, “Me too.” They want me to know, as I want them to know through my work, that I am not alone. We suffer so much, we struggle so hard, life can be so overwhelming, and when I share this kind of post people who haven’t said Boo come out of the woodwork to respond. WE NEED EACH OTHER. We need to have some place where we feel safe enough to say “Me too!” and to share our stories, and to ask for help. That’s what community is all about. Come to the campfire, let’s tell our stories. Let’s listen and be heard. Let’s answer and be answered. That’s what “Maitri’s Heart Community For Women” is going to be all about. It is important, it is enough, and I am ready. I don’t need a lot of bells and whistles, I need hearts and souls, I am dedicating my life to this, I will be here, that is something of value.

And so today is a new day, and it is a relief, and I am rejoicing at finally being able to see the light. And oh, my dear ones, thank you for being here and for listening to me and answering me. I needed to hear you, and I am here to listen too. I hope you will join me. Together we can move mountains. What a joyful moment this is…

With more love than a heart can hold…

The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”