Lake Constance woman statue

This image is from a free image site. All it says about this statue is “Lake Constance.” I have searched until I am blue in the face and can find no other info. about her. If you know more please write to me…

UPDATE: My darling friend Margaretha found out who the statue is and who the artist is that made her. You can read the article here. It is in German but Google translated it for me. The statue is Yolanda and her maker is Miriam Lenk. Miriam also has a page on Facebook!

I have sites that I use for images for my blog. They are almost exclusively free images although I have paid $3.00 for some images I found that were perfect for a particular blog post. These days I am sticking to the free sites out of necessity and, when searching for something else entirely this image came up and my jaw dropped. I just fell in love with her, I think she is beautiful, and she spoke to me deeply. Can you imagine sailing into the harbor and coming upon her? I would be so delighted I would be beside myself. I hope someone can help me find more information about her.

We live in a world where not only is skinny considered beautiful, and the only way to be healthy, and obesity is certainly a crisis, but I am a large woman myself, not as large as the statue woman, but large enough that it has been a trial all my life, from when I was just a little overweight after having my babies to when I gained more weight over the years. I believe much of it is due to a sedentary lifestyle mainly caused by being on a lot of medication for my mental health. I have tried and tried and I am still trying. I have been on every diet you can name. I got a stationary bike in January that I hope to use more now that my depression is lifting a little, but the truth is this, I am a plus size woman in a world where being one is abhorrent, and I know, as surely as I know anything to be true, that if I don’t love myself — heart, mind, body and soul — as I am right now, then nothing else matters. I have tried so long and hard for so many years I am weary from it. I want to love myself right now. I am a woman who suffers from major clinical depression, a severe anxiety disorder, PTSD, agoraphobia, and the cherry on top of the cake is bipolar disorder AND YET you can’t see those things. What you can see is a woman standing before you who is a “larger woman” and people don’t mind all the mental health issues half as much as they mind the overweight part.

I no longer long to be thin, I’m not going to be, it simply is not my body type, although I would like to lose some weight and be as healthy as I can be but I know that my best self in every possible way will only be achieved if I love myself now, and celebrate and sing myself along the way.

Something hit me like a ton of bricks a few weeks ago. My dear friend Noni shared it on her facebook page. You can see it on the original page here. It made me cry when I read it because it is true of me. This is what it said…

“One day, all your children will have is pictures of you.
Make sure you’re in them. No matter what your hair
looks like, your makeup or your body, they won’t care
about any of that, they’ll just want to see you.”

I actually broke down sobbing when I first read this because I am a ghost. I am the grandmother who never wants her picture taken because she is plump as a partridge and I “don’t want to be remembered that way.” I am also still paralyzed from the severe case of Bell’s Palsy I got in 1995 that never completely went away so my face/mouth/smile is lopsidedish. I am very self conscious about it. You see it when I smile and especially when I talk. I want so much to be close to my family but when we’re all together I just want to sink into the woodwork. I am the only one that isn’t thin. Nobody else is an ounce overweight. I am more than an ounce overweight, and you will seldom if ever find me in a picture. That is going to change. I may be the plump grandmother but I am one who loves them so dearly with my whole heart and soul nothing matters more to me than them. I AM GOING TO BE IN THE DAMNED PICTURES, PLUMP AND ALL!!! I’m 63, I’m not getting any younger, and I want them to remember that I was actually there, loving them and being with them. There is nothing more important to me now.

I shared the above-linked page on Facebook as I was writing this. It is just so important and it is true for many people who are not overweight but have other things that they are shy about. Look around you people, none of us know how long we will be here, if I have one message that I think is so important it is this and I’m going to ask you to go to Facebook and share that page, because you don’t know how many people are sad and suffering and wish they could be in the pictures like everyone else but something is holding them back. If you share it and help even one person you will be my hero. The holidays will be here before we know it and I’m going to BE in the Christmas pictures this year, and on every other occasion when we are all together. Fat or thin I will be there and I will be beaming with love just because I am with them all. Help somebody else get in the pictures too. Share this post, share that Facebook page, whatever might help.

Yes, big is beautiful. I am beautiful and I am overflowing with so much love there is a river of love around me! And yes this post is about happiness because this experiment is about the search for happiness and by God I may never be thin but I’m damned well gonna be happy, one way or t’other, I am going to find my way.

Love yourself. That’s where it begins. Not tomorrow or next week or next year or when ______________. Love yourself now, and BE IN THE DAMNED PICTURES!

With more love than I know how to express…