clouds

The Experiment: Day 27 ~ “Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits…” A.A. Milne…

This is me, right now. I am fine, I am not depressed, nor am I soaring with joy, and that’s okay. It is a sitting and thinking, or maybe mostly just sitting kind of afternoon. It is almost 6 p.m. I was out this afternoon — therapy, the pharmacy to get medication for one of the pugs, etc. — and my darling daughter Rachel will be here at 7:30. Tonight we’re going to watch our shows. We are watching This Is Us on Wednesday nights on Hulu — it comes on on Tuesday night but I no longer have cable hence no t.v., and we used to watch it together at our respective houses, texting one another in the commercials. Now we watch it on Hulu — it’s so much fun having a show to share, and then we watch maybe a couple of episodes of our other show which is JUST hysterical (…also a little uncomfortable for us to watch together because of the sexual content, though it’s a comedy, not real explicit! and we laugh our way through the whole show. Laughing is good!), it is Catastrophe on amazon and it is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. The late Carrie Fisher was in it when she was alive. Anyway, I’m just having a sit down for a few minutes before I have to feed the dogs their dinner.

Sometimes you needs to just sits and thinks, or even just sits, as A.A. Milne said. It’s all I’m really up to right now. I am not feeling very well but that is to be expected. Going on the keto diet in the first weeks, going off all sugars, grains, flour, processed carbs like breads and crackers and such — your only carbs come from vegetables — no more glass of wine in the evening, well, you get what they refer to as The Keto Flu, as your body adjusts you start to detox. Not fun, but I am actually thrilled because I know it is working. And I don’t miss sugar at all except in my coffee but I just ordered from amazon, which came today, a keto approved sweetener called Swerve, keto people rave about it, my therapist uses it, it’s supposed to taste like sugar with no aftertaste, and just to put a little of this in my coffee in the morning with heavy cream which you’re allowed will be just dandy. I am learning, day by day, and I am so happy I have finally done this.

I want to say something more, something profound, or thoughtful, but right now “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak,” I have no energy to say much more. But I’ll tell you what I would like to do. I would just like to sit here with you and watch the clouds go by. It is just what one needs on this kind of day. So I leave you with clouds. Take a deep breath, relax, float with the clouds, ahhhhh, doesn’t that feel good?