The Experiment: Day 156 ~ Not Trying To Be Or Do Anything Whatsoever…

“The most valuable thing we can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of the room, not try to be or do anything whatever.”
May Sarton

It is so quiet.

I hear the green cotton blanket tumbling in the dryer. Delilah pug is snoring in her bed beside me. The clock is ticking loudly on the wall. I am at peace.

My psyche has been stretched and pulled and stressed one way or another all week long. Today I have allowed it to rest, to wander, simply to be. There were moments when I tried to do too much, reach too far, but I quickly let go.

I allowed myself just to drift and dream. I thought I would have this blog post up earlier, but I didn’t push it. I knew it would get up before I went to bed, that’s all I ever need do. But it is 8:42 p.m. and I would like to take the pugs in to our big recliner where the blankets that both cover it and that I cover with have all been washed and made tidy. It looks so inviting. We will be there soon.

I am thinking of you today dear one. I am hoping that you allow yourself some days of peace and ease, days when there is nothing you must do, and you don’t push yourself to do anything for the sake of doing. I have watched myself move through this day. As I moved toward evening I felt a little sad, a little lonely, but then it shifted. I fed the dogs, I made my dinner, I poured a glass of wine — I have decided to allow myself a little wine on the weekend, it is a treat, and it is relaxing — and I sat here and knew that I was ready to write this post.

And from this quiet calm something keeps bubbling up to the surface, ever so gently. It is the phrase, “You are not alone.” That, you see, has come to me for some time as the subtext for the work that I am doing. With Love from Maitri’s Heart — You are not alone. That is what I want to say to you. That is what I want to offer you. That is what the community will be, it is what I have to offer. And most important it is what I need to say to myself. As I crossed the threshold from afternoon to evening and loneliness lay like a stone in the pit of my stomach I heard those words, “You are not alone.” and I knew they applied to me, too, and something in me let go.

Tonight there is no work to be done, no community to build, no book to write, no other person to spend my time with, there is just me, and my sweet pugs, and the sounds of my beloved Dragonfly Cottage, once again home to me at last. And it is enough, and I don’t need anything more.

And I am not going to go on here saying more than needs to be said. I am simply going to wish you a peaceful night. For now that is enough…

The Experiment ~A 365 Day Search For Truth, Beauty &
Happiness: Day 1 ~ Introduction To The Project
“Do or do not. There is no try.”