I say this with no pity, I don’t in the least feel sorry for myself or even wish I had a different kind of life. This is my life, and though hard for others to understand, especially in light of the dark and difficult times that I write about, I consider my life a gift, and the most important thing I can do is to reach out to others who, like me, carry a dark secret inside and try with all that they have in them not only to survive each day but to do it without being a burden to others, not wallowing on the hard days in an endless sea of fear, holding on to whatever they can to stay afloat, all the while knowing that it will pass and another day will come. I have more good days than bad and anymore the hard times are only part of a day, but they still exist. I believe I have too often sugar-coated it in my writing because I didn’t want to be perceived as someone who did not appreciate all the good in my life, and I do, I really do, and I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I can accomplish things that I want to and build a life here that is full and purposeful, if much of it is hidden from the world. I do spend much time in contemplation, meditation, and prayer. I live very close to nature and very close to God. And those are the things that are my life raft when I plummet down, down, down as I did yesterday unable to even see the bottom and afraid there was none there. But that is what medication is for, and sleep, and the comfort of my animals, and the writing of my truth, because there are too many people like me who are living through this very thing, in their own way, and they need to know that they are not alone, and they need to know that they can survive.
Acceptance Of One’s Life ~ Writing The Book…
I say this with no pity, I don’t in the least feel sorry for myself or even wish I had a different kind of life. This is my life, and though hard for others to understand, especially in light of the dark and difficult times that I write about, I consider my life a gift, and the most important thing I can do is to reach out to others who, like me, carry a dark secret inside and try with all that they have in them not only to survive each day but to do it without being a burden to others, not wallowing on the hard days in an endless sea of fear, holding on to whatever they can to stay afloat, all the while knowing that it will pass and another day will come. I have more good days than bad and anymore the hard times are only part of a day, but they still exist. I believe I have too often sugar-coated it in my writing because I didn’t want to be perceived as someone who did not appreciate all the good in my life, and I do, I really do, and I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I can accomplish things that I want to and build a life here that is full and purposeful, if much of it is hidden from the world. I do spend much time in contemplation, meditation, and prayer. I live very close to nature and very close to God. And those are the things that are my life raft when I plummet down, down, down as I did yesterday unable to even see the bottom and afraid there was none there. But that is what medication is for, and sleep, and the comfort of my animals, and the writing of my truth, because there are too many people like me who are living through this very thing, in their own way, and they need to know that they are not alone, and they need to know that they can survive.
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