“365 Days of Mindfulness” [Day 76] Pray for powers equal to your tasks ~ A Sick Little Girl In The Hotel Room…

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“Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.”

~*~ Phillips Brooks ~*~

In my last post I wrote that Delilah was having a hard time. It was more than a hard time. She was sick. She cried off and on all through the night Tuesday after I put the post up and by morning I was in tears both because I was so worried about her, knew she had to go to the vet, didn’t know how I would get her there because I can’t leave the hotel, was completely exhausted from being awake most of the night, and worrying that my tiny girl was sick and in pain and I had no idea how serious it was nearly put me over the edge. On top of everything else this just felt like too much.

I called my vet first thing and described what was going on. I was in tears. And once again dear Nicole who works there said she would come get her on her lunch hour and take her back to the office where our dear vet could see her and figure out what was going on. It would have broken your heart to hear her crying, it sounded like a kitten or a baby crying.

Dr. Redfern called in the middle of the afternoon to say that they had done extensive bloodwork and other tests and she had a bacterial infection in her intestines. At one point in the day it looked as though she might have had pancreatitis which would have been very serious but she didn’t, however the infection and the high anxiety she has been having here have caused her terrible distress. One of her new medications, or rather a prescription that she took that was lost in the fire that they couldn’t get in pill form and it had to be compounded in a liquid was giving her diarrhea and everything was all thrown off with the medication. Everything together was making her anxiety get much worse. Nicole brought her back to me at 7 Wednesday night with 3 kinds of medication, one of which is xanax that she is to take 2-3 times a day at double the dose that had been tried before, antibiotics, anti-nausea medication because she felt so sick she was drooling a lot, and she had been getting lethargic. They sent special food that would be easier on her digestive tract. I thanked Nicole profusely for getting her there for me and settled in with the new routine of meds. It has taken 2 days but today she seems to be starting to getting better.

The last 2 days I have been doing Reiki with Delilah and holding her or she has laid right next to me on a pillow so that I could keep my hand on her abdomen with my fingers all the way down to her groin applying light pressure. Doing the Reiki and then the warmth of my hand and pressure helped her spastic tummy relax and she slept. As soon as I took my hand away she would start to cry so the last 2 days has been all of the other tasks of taking caring of Scarlet the grey parrot, getting everybody in and out several times a day, doing meds and feeding them all, and the rest of the time holding tiny Delilah in my arms like a baby, doing Reiki, and healing touch. She is sleeping now with her brothers on the bed with me and I am not needing to keep my hand on her tummy all of the time except when her xanax starts to wear off. But she is better today for the first time not crying all day. I am sitting here on the bed in our hotel room so tired my insides feel tired, that kind of thing were all of your internal organs and your eyeballs and everything else just ache with tiredness, but we are okay, we are getting through.

I saw the above quote this morning and it resonated with me so deeply and seemed to sum up this very difficult time in my life. And it lined up with something that my doctor said to me on the phone yesterday which made me feel good. She said that she was amazed and so proud of me for the way I was handling all of this. Yes, the fire and it’s aftermath but more to the point the things that she has to constantly work with me on and prescribe medication for, my bi polar disorder, a severe anxiety disorder, and agoraphobia were things that, she said, have caused many people to not be able to cope at all during a tragedy like we have been through. But deep down inside of me my mindfulness practice was humming keeping me going somehow, and you do what you have to do to keep going. I have indeed prayed to have the wherewithal to keep up with everything that came my way because there is just so much and will be for some time, but I am coping one step, one moment, one day at a time, and truly, no matter what is going on, that is all you can do, and broken down in tiny increments, and taking them one at a time, anything can be managed. I truly believe this, I always have, but this is has been a profound test of all that I believe, and teach, a litmus test of the benefit of mindfulness to help one through all circumstances in life. It has proven to be my saving grace.

We are now in our last 2 days in the hotel. Sunday morning we move into the rental house and it will be a relief but I am also a bit afraid. This has become a nest, if stressful, and the agoraphobic part of me dreads making yet another move, but it is the next step and we will make it. Until then I will take tender care of tiny Delilah and the others and get what rest I can. There are miracles in all of this, and I will come out on the other side of this experience a very changed woman. Until then I have my work cut out for me, and despite hard days here and there I now know I am up to the task.

Blessings and Love to one and all…

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Comments

  1. Brava! Mairi, brava!
    You can handle all things, great and small. Thank you for posting this update and I believe that even the unknown shall not deter you from your next steps.
    Warmest regards,
    Barbara

  2. Dear Maitri, what trials you are going through! I keep thinking about you sending ((((((((Maitri and family))))))))!!!

  3. You are so strong and so wise. I pray that you get some semblance of normal back quickly I also pray that you are able to return home soon. You are such a blessing to so many. May you have peaceful and restful days ahead.

  4. So happy to be reading your posts even as you are having to walk thru all of this. You are doing it. Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and sending you love & light.

  5. Fired in a hot kiln
    you come out more beautiful
    strange mystery, life

    my love is with you sister always
    xo
    ka

  6. Dear Friends,

    Thank you so much. You just have no idea how much your kind comments, love, prayers, and support mean to me. We are supposed to be in the rental for 6 months. They are literally rebuilding the house from the ground up, demolition of the inside started the beginning of this week. I plan to sell it when it is ready and buy a much smaller place for my babies and I. I just want to do my work, pray, meditate, write, and do my mentoring business and create my school to help other women. In the early days after the fire I wrote in my journal, “I never want another woman to feel this frightened, alone, vulnerable and lost…” Of course I will never be able to help everybody but the point is we help as many as we can and my animal companions and my work are what matters to me now. So that you all write in these very kind notes just shores me up and bathes my heart in a golden light.

    I send each of you so much love, and a gentle warm hug…

    Maitri

  7. I knew this to be true, because you are brilliant and intuitive. I knew that you would find your brave heart and know deep within that you are quite capable and will have come thru to the other side of the mountain, so to speak, a much stronger woman, and your mindfulness would be that grace under your wings. The universe gives us what we need. I am so sorry little Delilah was suffering so, and grateful for your precious vet and Nicole, and your wonderful doctor. Glad to learn D is recovering. You will, too because you are loved, and you ARE love. And you are one of my favorite shining stars incarnate.

  8. Maitri, so glad you had so much help from the vet’s office and that your little girl is experiencing some relief. It’s been hard on the animals too – so many people don’t understand that.

    Glad also you are finally moving to the rental house. I hope and pray it becomes a place of peace and a hall of healing for you until things become more permanent again. I will be thinking of you this weekend and sending Reiki and prayers.

  9. That is a saying to emblazon on all our hearts. You are attracting such good people around you, each deeply grateful to have a chance to be a part of this transition. Settling into the rental will be exhausting. Being settled will be a relief. Poor little Delilah. You are such a gentle and loving friend to her and to all the other sweet souls who depend on you.

  10. You have been so very courageous. With each post you inspire so much hope that all will be well. I hope little Delilah feels better and I continue to send you so much love and big hugs ((((( <3 )))))

  11. Thank you my loves. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Tiny D is having a hard time right now and I am just going to hold her…

    Much love to one and all…

    Maitri

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