Here at Dragonfly Cottage it’s the little things. The brief moments that are so easily missed if you are not moving mindfully through your days. Like my tiny Delilah.
When Delilah came on September 1 she had just been rescued from being used as a breeder in a puppy mill. At 5 she had had several litters of puppies, kept in a very small cage, forced to breed, her puppies taken away from her too soon. She is the sweetest, dearest little girl in the world. And she has the worst case of separation anxiety I have yet experienced and I have adopted ten pugs from the wonderful rescue that I have been involved with for some years now, Mid-Atlantic Pug Rescue. This is a very large rescue, all the way up and down the east coast, they never turn a pug away and take in quite a lot of pug mixes as well. They are always in dire need of funds and I try to donate what I can each month but I have dreams of winning the lottery, paying off all of their vet bills which are so high it is hard to grasp, and giving them money to fund their ongoing needs. I am working hard at manifesting that dream by visualizing it constantly! No pug is adopted out until any vet issues they have are fully resolved which for some mean months with one of our dear foster families. I just love them dearly.
I look at my wee Delilah, such a tiny girl, huge eyes, always looking up at me for reassurance, and she is always wherever I am. If she can’t see me she will cry pitifully. She has now gone on some medication to help calm her nerves, and as I work from home she is always here in my lap. She sleeps, usually, on top of me somewhere, and her favorite spot is in the crook of my neck.
The little things. The small moments.
As Delilah nestles in I feel such a rush of love, knowing that she is safe now, that I will always keep her close, tenderly care for her, love her and protect her and give her all that she needs to feel secure. I lay here and feel her tiny little face snuggle into my neck, kind of burrowing down, moving this way and that, and then settling into her spot. Instantly I feel her breathing move into the rhythm of a little one going to sleep. Sometimes she has a very soft snuffly snore and I chuckle to myself, quietly, so as not to wake her up, because I can feel the vibration through my head. But it doesn’t last long. As soon as she is really asleep she is very quiet.
Sometimes I lay there and just feel so blessed. She will move from my neck into the crook of my arm at some point through the night and I will be sleeping with this tiny girl as if she were part of my own body. It is one of the dearest things in the world to me. For a little one who has been through so much to feel safe with you is incredibly moving.
When we get up and go outside the boys race around the yard but Delilah is always with me. Wherever I am, she is, my little shadow. In the picture at the top she was looking up at me as if to ask, “Mama, are we EVER going to go in?” Her 3 brothers had already dashed up the steps and into the house but Li-Li, as I call her, waits for me.
Most of my day is spent right here in this chair writing and working and my wee girl is right here in my lap. She is so soft, and warm, and I find my self just taking time to sit to breathe with her. She will be sound asleep but I can hear her breathing very softly. I close my eyes and breathe, soft, like her, and my body relaxes. I have actually, when I was very tired, gone to sleep for a short nap, as she and I breathed together right on into a sweet slumber. A short nap with a little pug in your lap is very restorative!
My life here is an endless round of small tasks, not the least of which is caring for my 9 animals, the 4 pugs and 5 parrots. These routines frame my day and keep me steady. Shortly I will put all of the birds to bed, give the dogs their medications and a little treat and we will go outside for a nice walk under the stars on this cold, crisp November night. When we come back inside the boys will snuggle into their beds all around me here, and wee Delilah will nestle back into my lap, and I will finish my work here, and then we will head into The Cozy Room where we snuggle up on the couch, and they curl up all around me, Delilah in my lap, my little boys as close as they can get, little faces on my knee or against my side as they find their places, and I read or watch a movie. For some part of every night, just before it’s time to go to bed, I sit looking at the 4 little ones around me. They are so close we are all of a piece. The little boys are snoring and my baby Tanner, he is 4 and the youngest of the group, snores so loudly I’m surprised the neighbors can’t hear him! I find the pugs snoring absolutely charming. It is like being sung to sleep by a chorus of angels.
The little things, it’s the small moments, the precious, priceless moments that make up my day that I cherish the most. People too often spend their lives waiting for the big things, dreaming about “one day,” that day when they get the big house, take the dream vacation, land the big account, or some other far off longed for thing, all the while missing a host of little miracles right under their very own nose. I find this so sad.
Our life is right here, right now. There is so much to cherish, so many miracles, in this very moment, just a breath away.
Stop, right where you are. If you are reading this pause here. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, breathe in and out slowly for a few moments, relax, feel yourself moving slowly from where you were just a minute before, feel yourself re-entering your body. Feel your bottom on the seat of the chair, your back against it, where are your feet? What is under your palms? Is your nose cold or warm? Find yourself right here, right now, in this moment.
Now, slowly, open your eyes and note the very first thing your eye rests on. If you were in my class I would say, “Okay, take that thing, the very first thing your eyes rested on. Tell me everything you know about it, everything you think about it, how it makes you feel. 10 minutes. Go!”
Maybe you were looking at a blank wall, but is it really blank? Notice the color, the texture, any little spot. Is the sun shining in through a window on that little area of wall? What feelings come up? What memories?
There is so much life in every single little thing around us. So much. Be aware, be constantly aware.
I used to want to travel the world. Now I travel around my acre and feel like it is the most wondrous adventure in the universe. Every blade of grass, every leaf of every tree, are precious to me.
Late this afternoon as the pugs and I were walking around the yard I looked up and almost fell over backwards I was so swept away by the sight above me. I live under a canopy of trees, in a magical wood right out my back door. How could I be more blessed? You can travel the world, and bless you, have a wonderful time. Me, I’m going to look up at these trees, with a tiny girl at my side, and finally, when she has almost given up on her mama every going inside, I will turn and go up the stairs and she will come bounding after me, her whole little self wiggling with delight.
Sometimes it’s the little things. Well, for me, pretty much every day is made up of a celebration of the little things, and I can’t imagine a better life. Celebrate these little miracles. They are all around you every single day.
I’m off with the little ones. Time for treats, time for bed, time for a little girl to snuggle in my neck…